Column

Pit Stories: Miss Frizzle's Fucked Up School Bus

Guys, guys, I don't even know where to start with this one guys. The fact that this really apparently happened is as horrifyingly hilarious to me as that time a naked dude tried, and failed, to jack off in front of Behemoth.

This week's pit story comes courtesy of vocalist / bassist Eric Bluebaum from Ohio sludge band Maharaja, who had the misfortune to catch the end of a Five Finger Death Punch festival set. Eric recalls the life-altering F5DP experience at Rock On The Range:

Somehow each year I manage to get a free ticket into Ohio's largest rock and metal concert: Rock on the Range. A carnival of trailer fashion, Bud Light, and indiscernible male/female nipples. This particular year I got a pass for the day Rob Zombie headlined. My friend and I didn't have field passes so we strategized on a way to sneak in. As we were faking up a backstage lanyard a cop comes up to us and asks us if we're trying to get into the field. We both reply "Yeeeea?" and the cop reaches into his pocket and gives us two field passes. I try to cheers him but he didn't fall for it. I'm glad he didn't kill me about it.

As most festival goers know, if you want to get a good spot for the band you want to see then you have to watch the tail end of the band before them. In my unfortunate case it was none other than Five Finger Death Punch AKA Bizarro Limp Bizkit that decided to stretch Wes Borland's look across three band members and dip Fred Durst in a Kentucky Waterfall by the ankle. It was the monkey at the zoo eating its own shit that you cant stop watching. Especially for their final song.

As Ivan Durst tells the crowd its their last song he makes a motion to the stage hands and tells the crowd they're doing something very special tonight. He says "Tonight we're gonna bring out our biggest fans to help sing along to this last tune" as he brings on stage twenty eight year olds. I don't know if this was their sick play on the old dead baby joke "whats the best thing about 28 year olds?/Theres 20 of them" but they literally brought out 20 8-year-olds on stage. I'm stricken with horror as the lead singer says "This last song is called...BURN MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!"

A zippy tune blazoned with lyrically prowess such as "I just don't give a shit, you need to feel it or you'll never fucking know it." The crowd goes wild, the kids are amped as fuck, and I'm losing consciousness. The caucasity. Its like a Kids Bop ad but its just the actual band with a bunch of kids behind them and Mickey Mouse is snorting meth off Minnie's mouse tits in a port-o-john back stage.

As the song is coming to a close the singer walks down the line of children and gives each one a turn to scream "BURN!" as he intervenes and says "MOTHERFUCKER!" as to somehow edit the song for the kids, or some shit, while also effectively screaming "MOTHERFUCKER!!" in the face of 20 eight year olds as a mom stuffed into a tube top films it all for Facebook later. The set ends, the kids get back in Ms. Frizzle's Fucked Up School Bus, and no one questioned any of it. Thirty minutes later Rob Zombie is setting off fireworks to "We're an American Band" in between his many cowboy hat changes. My life was never the same.

I managed to find some fan-filmed footage of the event in question (unless this is something the band just does regularly....) in a YouTube clip. It starts with one kid, but sure enough, soon there's a gaggle of 'em up there shouting away.

Maharaja will release the "Kali Yuga" album next month on September 22nd, with an advance track available below. Follow the latest on the band at Facebook here. More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Grande Royale Streaming New Album

Swedish heavy rock outfit Grande Royale today streams the entirety of the band's forthcoming Nicke Andersson produced album "Breaking News," due out August 25th.

Listen in to all 10 tracks below, and you can also pre-order the impending "Breaking News" release over here.

1. Know It All
2. Brake light
3. Devil's Place
4. Breaking News
5. Live With Your Lie
6. Daily Illustration
7. Got To Move
8. One Second
9. R'N'R Business
10. I'm On The Loose More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Headline News

Trap Them Announces Final Shows

Trap Them is apparently breaking up, posting several Facebook events listed as "final shows." The band hasn't issues any sort of statement or responded to fan questions yet, leading some to question if its all a gimmick.

Since then, Trap Them released the image below indicating the band is ending in 2017 with three final shows in November:

November 10 NYC @ Saint Vitus
November 11 Montreal @ Turbo Haus
November 12 Boston @ Sonia

Trap Them released the "Crown Feral" album last year, which can be heard in full over at this location.

0 Comments - Discuss

Bruce Dickinson Re-Issuing Discography On Vinyl

BMG will re-issue the solo catalogue on vinyl from Iron Maiden frontman and rock legend Bruce Dickinson worldwide on October 27th, 2017.

Bruce Dickinson’s six solo albums span from 1990 to 2005 and have been cut from the original masters on heavyweight, black 180g vinyl in artworked sleeves. Two of the titles, "The Chemical Wedding" and "Tyranny Of Souls," are being made available for the first time ever on vinyl.

The four previously available albums have been long out of print, with the latter two titles now expanded to double LPs for optimum sound. As a special bonus to fans, all six albums will also be available in a limited edition "Soloworks" box.

Pre-orders are online here and all fans who purchase the complete "Soloworks" box will receive a double-sided 24” x 36” Bruce Dickinson poster. More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Bell Witch Announces Fall Tour

Seattle doom metal duo Bell Witch will bring new psalms to the stage this fall on a North American tour with Denver doom troupe Primitive Man. The trek will commence on October 25th in Denver, Colorado and run through November 17th in Fort Worth, Texas. See all confirmed dates below.

The band's latest journey comes in conjunction with forthcoming full-length, "Mirror Reaper," set for release worldwide via Profound Lore Records on October 20th. With "Mirror Reaper," Bell Witch has created a truly enormous work - one continuous, eighty-three-minute piece unfolding as a single track.

Bell Witch tour dates w/ Primitive Man:
10/25/2017 Hi Dive - Denver, CO
10/27/2017 Cobra Lounge - Chicago, IL
10/28/2017 Rock Island Brewery - Rock Island, IL
11/01/2017 Coalition - Toronto, ON
11/02/2017 Bar Le Ritz - Montreal, QC
11/03/2017 Geno's - Portland, ME
11/06/2017 Saint Vitus Bar - Brooklyn, NY
11/07/2017 Kung Fu Necktie - Philadelphia, PA
11/08/2017 The Meatlocker - Montclair, NJ
11/09/2017 Sidebar - Baltimore, MD
11/10/2017 Strange Matter - Richmond, VA
11/11/2017 Drunken Unicorn - Atlanta, GA
11/12/2017 East/West - Nashville, TN
11/14/2017 Growlers - Memphis, TN
11/16/2017 Lost Well - Austin, TX
11/17/2017 Ridgelea Lounge - Forth Worth, TX More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Brendom Small Announces Los Angeles Appearances

Dethklok mastermind Brendon Small will release his brand new, high-stakes intergalactic album, "Galaktikon II: Become The Storm," this Friday, August 25th via Megaforce Records/MRI.

In celebration, Brendon will take part in several Los Angeles-based appearances and activities this week. He will also take part in a Reddit AMA (via /r/IAmA) on Saturday, August 26th at 1:00pm Pacific time.

On Wednesday, August 23rd from 7:00-10:00 PM, Brendon Small will join kings of metal cuisine Grill Em' All for an in-store appearance, live comedy, podcast (with comedian Steve Agee) and meet & greet. On this day only, Grill Em' All will feature a special Galaktikon-themed menu item. There, you can also buy issue #1 of the Galakticon comic.

Next, on Thursday, August 24th at 7:00 PM, Brendon will host a free in-store signing of issue #1 of the comic at the legendary Meltdown Comics (7522 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA).

Finally, on Friday, August 25th at 10:30 PM, Hollywood Improv (8162 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA) will present a special Baked Comedy and Music record release party, hosted by Brendon Small and comedian Steve Agee. Further appearances and performances will be made by Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian, famed vocalist Pearl Aday, seasoned session musician of Dethklok touring fame Mike Keneally, Survivor'sWalter Ino, musician Joe Travers, and comedian Tom Lennon. The show is 18+ to enter and tickets are $15. More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

The Black Dahlia Murder Unveils New Album

On October 6th, The Black Dahlia Murder will release eighth full-length album "Nightbringers" via Metal Blade Records. For a first preview of the record, a video for the title track can be viewed below.

Rather than meticulously plan things out or stick rigidly to any kind of template, when it comes to writing, The Black Dahlia Murder prefers to let things happen organically. In the hands of guitarist Brian Eschbach - who co-founded the band with front-man Trevor Strnad in 2001 - and new recruit Brandon Ellis (Arsis, ex-Cannabis Corpse), "Nightbringers" is rich with dynamic riffs incorporating various elements of extreme metal.

"Death metal and nighttime are synonymous to me," Strnad explains. "We are the rulers of the darkened hours that the Christian god fears. A lot of archaic ideas that are still upheld - such as marriage and monogamy - came from Christianity, whether people want to acknowledge it or not, and to me, death metal has always been bucking that. It's 'being-the-villain music', because we're the enemy of Christianity, the enemy of all that is good and traditional. Death metal is for free thinkers, it's for showing people the path to inner strength and operating on your own will, instead of being told what to do and living in fear, and songs like the title track and 'Kings Of The Nightworld' are about leading a legion of awakened minds into battle."

1. Widowmaker
2. Of God and Serpent, Of Spectre and Snake
3. Matriarch
4. Nightbringers
5. Jars
6. Kings of the Nightworld
7. Catacomb Hecatomb
8. As Good as Dead
9. The Lonely Deceased More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Demonstealer Launches Crowd Funding Campaign

Following the release of "This Burden Is Mine" last year, Demonstealer has now launched a crowd funding campaign for an upcoming EP set to include several guest musicians. Demonstealer's Sahil Makhija had this to say:

"Now I know for most people it's hard to pre-order something without knowing what's coming up but I can assure you, if you go by the quality of music I've been delivering, you won't be disappointed.

"While I had George Kollias drum on the solo album, this EP is a little more ambitious and I'm trying to work with not 1 but 3-4 drummers. While I've confirmed 3 of them I can only announce 1 right now and that is Kevin Paradis from France who is an incredible drummer. You can check him out on youtube. I can say that the other 2 drummers will also blow your mind."

0 Comments - Discuss

Blade Killer Signs With M-Theory

Los Angeles has been a breeding ground for some of the finest traditional heavy metal and in recent years a younger generation of bands have taken that ‘80s influences and created a new sound. Blade Killer is leading this revolution of classic metal, as evidenced by the group's 2014 self-titled EP and countless shows around the Southern California area.

“We’re excited to announce that Blade Killer has joined forces with M-Theory Audio to release our upcoming full-length album,” states bassist Kelsey Wilson. “There is much to look forward to on the horizon and we couldn’t be more stoked to have the support of M-Theory Audio and all of you!”

“Blade Killer is another band I’ve been eyeing for some time and wanted to bring to the label. I loved the EP and feel their potential and commitment to metal is unparalleled,” explains M-Theory founder Marco Barbieri. “I’m pleased to publicly announce the signing and look forward to hearing the group’s new recordings.”

Currently Blade Killer is diligently finishing up recording nine new songs to be released early next year, but will also embark on a string of west coast shows next month supporting Bat, including an L.A. show which features the return of old-school thrash metal band Evil Dead.

9/28 Til-Two – San Diego, CA w/ Bat and Execution
9/29 The Union – Los Angeles, CA w/ Evil Dead and Bat
9/30 Eli’s – Oakland, CA w/ Bat and Hellfire More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Oni Covers Linkin Park

Technical progressive metal band Oni has publicly cited Linkin Park as a longtime influence, and after the recent untimely death of vocalist Chester Bennington, the band decided to enter the studio to record a cover track and pay homage to that fallen musical hero.

Check out Oni's metal-charged cover of the classic Linkin Park track, "A Place For My Head," in the YouTube player below. Frontman Jake Oni comments:

"Linkin Park was the first band that introduced me into heavier music, which ultimately lead me down my path of metal. His voice and lyrics affected so many people, especially me. The world will not be the same without Chester Bennington. We decided to record this cover as a tribute to Linkin Park and Chester. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and fans."

ONI recently wrapped up tours with Devin Townsend Project, Gojira, Deafheaven, and Code Orange, and has even more touring plans scheduled for the fall, to be announced soon. Stay tuned for more information. More...

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Ensiferum Debuts New Song "Way of the Warrior"

Ensiferum debuts a new track and music video titled "Way of the Warrior", taken from the forthcoming new album "Two Paths", which comes out on September 15th via Metal Blade Records.

Check out now "Way of the Warrior" below.

0 Comments - Discuss

Dawn Ray'd Premieres New Song "The Abyssal Plain"

UK black metal band Dawn Ray'd premieres a new song entitled "The Abyssal Plain", taken from the upcoming new album "The Unlawful Assembly", which is projected for release in October.

Check out now "The Abyssal Plain" below.

Read more...  |  0 Comments - Discuss

Downpour Debuts New Song "Without The Fear"

Downpour - featuring current/former members of Shadows Fall, Cannae, Unearth - debuts a new song entitled "Without The Fear".

Check it out now below.

0 Comments - Discuss

Today Is The Day Premieres New Track

Today Is The Day premieres a new song entitled "Parasite". Though newly recorded, the song will NOT appear on the band’s forthcoming album.

Check out now "Parasite" below.

0 Comments - Discuss

Wolves In The Throne Room Debuts "Angrboda"

Black metal outfit Wolves In The Throne Room debuts a new song entitled "Angrboda", taken from the upcoming new album "Thrice Woven", which will be out in stores September 22nd.

Check out now "Angrboda" below.

0 Comments - Discuss

Uncured Premieres New Music Video "Stygian Valley"

NJ based progressive, technical death metal band Uncured premieres a new music video for "Stygian Valley", which was filmed by David Brodsky (Hatebreed, The Black Dahlia Murder).

Check out now "Stygian Valley" below.

The band is about to head out on tour with DevilDriver, 36 Crazyfists etc.. Check out all dates below: More...

Read more...  |  1 Comment - Discuss