Professional wrestling and heavy metal music has plenty in common, perhaps more than one might initially think. Both fan bases are mocked by many people who don't share their enthusiasm for the colourful world they adore, both are perceived as appealing mostly to white males, though of course there are many overlooked female fans and both vary from the no nonsense to the ludicrous. So what happens when a professional wrestler has a penchant for metal music and brings his antics from the ring to the stage? Why, you get Nasty Savage of course!
Nasty Savage was formed in 1983 by lead singer "Nasty" Ronnie Galetti, along with drummer Curtis Beeson, bassist Fred Degischan and guitar players Ben Meyer and David Austin, in Brandon, Florida. The band recorded two demos, "Raw Mayhem" and "Wage of Mayhem" in 1984 and built up a solid following in their home state, thanks in part to Ronnie Galetti's outrageous stage persona, which would include smashing television sets over his own head. Their notoriety and popularity spread enough to earn the band a deal with Metal Blade Records, with whom they released their self-titled debut in 1985. More...
It's time for another Pit Story! This week we checked in with U.K. sludgy doom outfit Pensevor to hear about an interesting experience at a live show. Guitarist Pat Hopkins had this to say:
Way back in the early 00’s my old band was doing a very brief Channel Island tour, Jersey on the Friday night, prop plane over to Guernsey for the Saturday and back to Jersey for the Sunday night. I was playing in a dream pop band at the time (hey don't judge me) and we were supporting a couple of post hardcore bands from the UK mainland.
Having never been there before, I found Jersey a bit weird, but the Friday night show was fun. We got the early flight over to Guernsey on the Saturdaymorning and got to a pub near the venue before lunchtime and started playing pool and drinking. Mark (Pensevor vocals) had come over as an unofficial roadie, and to help us party hard.
The gig was in the function room at Guernsey hockey club, we went on first and it went OK. A band from Guernsey played, I think they were called Mechanical Lobster. By now I'd started to realize that Guernsey was like Jersey, only even more weird – a bit difficult to put into words, maybe a bit like Royston Vasey... Even friends who had lived in Jersey for a long time reckoned Guernsey was weird.
Anyway, the headline band went on and rocked out but the kids all suddenly went totally apeshit – it was like they'd all been electrocuted at the same time – I was a bit unprepared for the way they'd so enthusiastically reacted to the guys from the UK, stage diving, full on body slamming and so on.
After the gig, Mark snuck off for a cheeky smoke with the locals and we didn't see him again until the Sunday lunchtime back in Jersey. He had managed to get back to the hotel, fall asleep in a random room and missed the flight we all took back to Jersey. Fortunately the airport staff were cool and let him take a later flight. Lots of other shenanigans that weekend; bed wetting, snare drums on luggage carousels, conversations about smegma, and debates on optimum bath temperature for improved fertility. Ahh, Guernsey!
What's the spot in your area known for being the weirdest or having the wildest live shows? Fill us in via the comments section below!
Metal music has long experimented with other genres. We've seen metal make the short trip to mix with punk and hardcore and it's been known to flirt with more distanced genres such as reggae, electronic and rap music. One band who helped pioneer the hybrid of metal, punk and funk music was Venice Beach's own, Suicidal Tendencies, led by one of rock's most charismatic frontmen, Mike Muir. When the group recruited bass player Robert Trujillo, Muir appeared to have found a kindred musical spirit, who not only shared his love of funk, but brought it into the band's sound. This partnership was to expand beyond Suicidal Tendencies and cause a new band to emerge, who go by the suitable name of Infectious Grooves.
Muir and Trujillo began the band in 1989 and were joined in their endeavour by Jane's Addiction drummer Stephen Perkins and former Excel guitarist Adam Siegel. The group brought a very bizarre and silly humour to their music, which had previously been seen Suicidal Tendencies, though not to the same extent and invented a character called Sarsippius, a reptilian lover who appeared in skits on the band's albums. Their quest for a record deal was a relatively short one, signing with major label Epic, who also housed Suicidal Tendencies. More...
Vocalist Tom of Rochester-based outfit Allfather hits us up with a new Pit Story today, which actually turns out to be a rendition of all the craziest things the band has seen at a live show.
From Greg Puciato's infamous on-stage defecation in '02 to a less-than-genius metal fan breaking his legs, here's a run down of some of the most ridiculous things you'll see while moshing out a metal show:
What's the wildest thing we've seen in the pit? Well, between the five of us, we seem to have witnessed everything from permanent facial scarring to full bowel evacuation.
To begin with, Joe (rhythm guitar) was at Slipknot show at the old Astoria in London and someone jumped off the balcony into the pit, I saw the same thing at an Offspring show at Brixton Academy (way higher balcony). Joe also saw someone climb one of the huge tent poles whilst watching Arch Enemy at Download and then jump off. Dude broke both legs but apparently came back the next day to see Slayer.
Both Joe and I were at the Reading Festival and when Dillinger Escape Plan opened the main stage and Greg Puciato took a huge dump onstage, smeared his shirt with it and then threw the shirt into the pit. Alan (lead guitar) saw a guy get run over by his own wheelchair a Gallows show and finally Kieron (drums) saw a front man at a hardcore show throw a chair into the pit and hit a girl, scarring her.
Be careful in the pit kids!
There are areas of the world that can always be relied upon to give you great metal. The Bay Area offers some of the best thrash bands of all time, as does New York, which also contains many of history's greatest hardcore bands. Britain has many legends of the game such as Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, in addition to the classic heavy metal sound of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, while a short trip east to Norway showcases many of the most beloved named in black metal. When it comes to death metal, perhaps one place more than any other can lay claim to being synonymous with the genre, the southern American state of Florida, which has given us such bands as Obituary, Morbid Angel and today's featured group, Monstrosity.
Monstrosity began life in Fort Lauderdale in 1990, the brainchild of former Malevolent Creation drummer Lee Harrison and Maryland native George "Corpsegrinder" Fischer. The duo were soon joined by another ex Malevolent Creation member, Jon Rubin and Cynic bassist Mark Van Erp. After slogging it out in the state scene, the band were eventually rewarded with a record deal with German label, Nuclear Blast. The label released the group's debut album, "Imperial Doom" in 1992, for which they were assisted in the recording by another Cynic member, Jason Gobel. The record was considered very successful, selling over forty thousand copies and receiving rave reviews from the metal press, as well as allowing them to tour Europe with Dutch technical death metal band, Pestilence. More...
The time has come for another Pit Story straight from the heart of the metal scene! This week's story comes courtesy of Entheos (the new band featuring Evan Brewer and Navene Koperweis).
Drummer Navene Koperweis had this tale from the pit to share about that one guy who keeps the mosh going, no matter what the circumstances:
When My old band was on tour with Napalm Death, there was an epic beat in Denver, Colorado. There was this one dude owning the pit who very primal and animated. We decided to go up on the balcony to see what would happen if we poured a bottle of water on him. Turns out he loved it! He thrived off it and continued to be the number 1 pitter! Props to this guy!
Are you that guy at your local shows? Share your story of the one mosher who just won't stop in the comments below!
The new Entheos album "The Infinite Nothing" is slated to drop April 1st, 2016 via Artery Recordings, with several advance tracks already up for streaming. You can pre-order the release over here. More...
There are some countries that bands dream about making it in. For a British band on the hunt for success, to make it in the United States has always been one of the biggest targets, and I'm told the same is true in reverse. There's another country however, where bands from all over the world want to make their name, located in the far east and the centre of many popular trends, art and spirituality, Japan. The country has always loved their heavy metal and as a result, many of metal's biggest names such as Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne and Iron Maiden have recorded live albums and DVDs there, especially at the world famous Budokan. But it's not all take, Japan has given the world some excellent metal music in return, from the good time classic heaviness of Loudness, to the avant garde and macabre of Sigh and most recently, Babymetal, perhaps the most talked about group in metal right now. There are some other fantastic bands from the country too, including today's featured band, a must have in the record collection for any doom fan, Church Of Misery.
Church Of Misery were formed in 1995 in Shinjuku, a special ward in the city of Tokyo by bass player Tatsu Mikami, who was formerly a member of one of Japan's leading thrash bands, Salem (not to be confused with the Israeli group.) A fan late sixties/early seventies rock and psychedelic bands like Leaf Hound and Blue Oyster Cult, along with the likes of Black Sabbath and Saint Vitus, he wanted to put together his own outfit that would reflect these influences and soon found three partners in crime in guitarist Tomohiro Nishimura, vocalist Kazuhiro Asaeda and drummer Hideki Shimizu. The quartet would record their first demo, "ADV.1996" the following year and sent it out to labels, fanzines and friends across the world, before a company called Doom Records released the recording as "Vol. 1" without the band's permission, resulting naturally in complaints and the threat of legal action, but also in awareness and popularity for the band in doom metal circles. More...
Following last week's hilarious invasion of the him-hers, today we actually return to the pit proper with a tale of moshing mayhem.
This week's story comes courtesy of the long-running American Head Charge, and it digs way back in time to an early U.S. tour from Slipknot. Anyone else who was at this show should be sure to give us a shoutout and let us know if you saw this in the comments!
American Head Charge tells the tale of venue destruction like this:
We opened up for Slipknot on their first show of their first headline tour at First Ave in Minniapolis MN. Our pit was mental. During the Slipknot show their pit was going full force. Sid stage dives and rides the pit house left to the bar. He jumps behind the bar and proceeds to destroy a brand new 4000 dollar imported Italian espresso machine. Less that cash at the end of the night and infuriating the clun, the Slipknot gig was a success. All the fans were online the next day comparing battle scars. The pit was gnarly.
The new American Head Charge album "Tango Umbrella" will be released on March 25th, 2016 via Napalm Records. Check out a teaser clip featuring snippets off all the album's tracks below, and you can also catch AHC live on an extensive U.S. tour this coming May and June. More...
Where would this column be without thrash metal? For that matter, where would metal itself be without thrash? It massively changed the genre by taking the sounds of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal and turning them into something more ferocious, not only influencing many of younger headbangers, but also helping to create other successful genres such as death metal via bands like Possessed and Kreator, as well as black metal through the proto-black metal music of Celtic Frost, Bulldozer and Mercyful Fate. Beyond new areas, thrash metal also created a direct offspring of its own, after its marriage to hardcore punk, creating crossover thrash in the process. A number of beloved thrash bands belong in this category, from D.R.I. to Stormtroopers Of Death to today’s featured band, Cryptic Slaughter.
Cryptic Slaughter band began life in 1984, the brainchild of Les Evans, Scott Peterson and Adam Scott, all of whom were under the age of 18. The trio met through their participation in the American Youth Soccer League and were soon joined by another young soccer player named, Bill Crooks, who was appointed the bassist of the group. Scott didn’t last long however due to conflicts about school, so Crooks took over the vocal position, with a new bass player named Rob Nicholson was brought in, though until after the band had recorded their first demo, "Life in Grave." More...
Ready for yet another bout of Pit Story madness my fellow metal heads?
This week we've got a truly bizarre one that leaves the pit behind and focuses on band antics at the hotel room after the show, in which U.S. group Rapheumets Well gets some serious culture shock and a crash course in trans pride.
In typical metal fashion, things get taken perhaps a smidge too far. The symphonic extreme metal outfit's drummer Joshua Ward tells the tale like this:
So, members of Rapheumets Well were accompanying the band Behind The Veil to a show in the Ashville area of North Carolina. Now you got to picture that we are all very southern males with little to no exposure to the pride parades that Ashville is known for. It is to note, we are far from prejudice and we accept anyone for their sexual preferences being gay or straight, or what-ever percentage of gay to strait ratio can exist. You can make love to a duck for all we care. But you can say, we we just not ready for the “He-her” or the “Sheman,” Man in girl, whatever you can use to define the characters in our midnight saga.
So we are hanging off the balcony at a hotel and from the distance, our honkey eyes believe we are seeing women, flaunting about, twirling their batons, giggling and frolicking about, and for some reason that we have not discovered in our life’s journey yet…. other people on leashes. I’m sure it was our testosterone and possible lead poisoning from drinking from mountain spring water that lead us to the conclusion that these were women of mating age, doing things that seem appropriate for the other gender to want to mate …upon. Well the guitarist is yelling from the balcony “come on up girls” while one of two of us is considering the entertaining the question “are these she-men on leashes” as reality TV usually instills hints to these questions. But, what the hell. There had to be 20 plus people.
As they began to get closer, some of us who were NOT drinking began to contemplate back to high-school health class, “hmm, adams apple also known as the thyroid cartilage = the male gender” but the majority of us must have failed that class. From the pits of the stair well behold, in front us stood a 6 foot three, broad jawed, two hundred and fifty pound bench-pressing loaf of a man. Though in our defense, he was wearing a mini skirt over some leggings, a blond wig, and was accompanied by a man wielding a leash who also wore clothing which possessed ornaments known as “Bedazzled” and glitter.
If I had more time, I would explain to you how we used this awkward scenario to our benefit. Friends, who passed out first, became celebrities or victims to our cameras. We engaged in conversation which would reveal the craziest sexual things we have ever heard. I did not even know you can fit a lava lamp in some of the bodies cavities as expressed by the Him-Her. It was southern cultural anthropology at its finest. Unfortunately, some of them were chased off with chairs due to a un-diagnosed case of transphobia. But it was none the less, educational, AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!! …I guess.
Rapheumets Well's upcoming album "The Exile" is due out March 18th, 2016 through Test Your Metal Records. Check out a lyric video below for "Resurrecting The Blood God," and you can also hear new track "Witch Of Dark Spire" at this location. More...
Having recently been treated to a death metal extravaganza in London from Kataklysm, Septicflesh and Aborted (read the review here,) it seemed as good a time as any to revisit the history and story of one of these bands. In the interest of fairness, this week, we’ll be taking a look at the band whose country we’ve only examined twice before when covering Channel Zero and Enthroned, (which was only last week for those who need reminding.) The band whose career has been drenched in blood and fuelled by gore. The death metal band from Belgium known, quite simple, as Aborted.
Aborted was founded in 1995 by vocalist Sven de Caluwé, in the north west municipality of Waregem, West Flanders, reportedly choosing their name so that their albums would be first in the CD racks. This ambition came closer to be fulfilled, after they released two demos in 1998 entitled, "The Splat Pack" and "The Necrotorous Chronicles," which gained the attention of Uxicon Records, who released their debut album, "The Purity of Perversion" in 1999. The record received a good response from fans of extreme music, as well as disgust from onlookers at the cover art, a photograph of a mutilated woman. More...
Tuesday has arrived, so its time for another pit story culled from the wild world of heavy metal shows! Today we've got a tale from Texas shoegaze black metal outfit Krigsgrav about a truly crazy night to remember. Drummer David Sikora tells the story like this:
Myself and Corey, our lead guitarist, were both at a show in a pretty large venue back in maybe 2000 or 2001 which featured Morbid Angel, Soulfly, and Nothingface in Dallas. I didn't even know Corey back then, but we discovered years later that we were at the same place! It was my first concert, and is still the craziest one I've ever seen.
Everywhere you looked, there were people smoking out, ripping their clothes off, lighting them on fire, and throwing them into the pit area. I saw a bodybuilder go into the pit and then walk out seconds later holding his own bloodied face after being nailed by an elbow. And at one point while Max Cavalera was on his knees rocking out on stage, someone took their boot off of their own foot and heaved it at him, striking him right square in the face and leaving him stunned for a good 10-15 seconds before he shook it off and continued playing. Haha!
The venue was at capacity, and there were barriers keeping out other people who were hoping to get in, and then towards the end of the show, people essentially overpowered the security team and pushed through the barriers and I'd say an extra 200 people came flooding into the venue and security guards were going crazy. Truly a wild one to remember!
And so we come to the end of Black Metal History Month for the fifth time. This year we’ve seen how Dimmu Borgir attained commercial success, how Melechesh overcame religious policing and fled their home country and examined the blood drenched story of Dissection. We close another fascinating month with a trip to Belgium, to take a look at another band with a history of extreme music and personal tragedy, Enthroned.
Enthroned began life in 1993 in the city of Charleroi, the brain child of drummer Cernunnos. He sought out like minded musicians and soon found them in Tsebaoth and vocalist/bassist Sabathan, who joined after the group briefly worked with a singer from the blackened grindcore band Hecate. The trio recorded a five track demo which circulated around the metal underground, eventually leading them to release a split EP with countrymen Ancient Rites through Afterdark Records. The label soon folded but the band was picked up by Evil Omen Records, a sub-label of Osmose Productions, who released the band’s debut album, "Prophecies of Pagan Fire" in 1995. It didn’t impress every listener, but received a generally good response, with "At the Sound of Millennium Black Bells" being singled out as an Enthroned classic. More...
We’ve now reached the halfway mark of our month long descent into darkness that is Black Metal History Month. Though some of the subjects we've look at this month like blasphemy, suicide and murder may be extremely shocking to the uninitiated, to the black metal faithful, perhaps one of the worst things a band could do is find mainstream success. It ruined the credibility of Cradle of Filth, but how would a band from black metal’s spiritual home fare in this situation? We’re about to find out as we continue our month of madness with Dimmu Borgir.
Dimmu Borgir was founded by vocalist Shagrath, guitarist Silenoz and drummer Tjodalv, taking their name from an Icelandic volcanic formation, which translates roughly to "dark cities" in English. They soon recorded an EP entitled, "Inn i evighetens mørke del I," which sold very quickly, leading the trio to record their first full length album with new members Stian Aarstad and Brynjard Tristan, "For all Tid," which was released in 1994 through No Colours Records. The roles were reversed a little on the first album, as Silenoz performed drums and Tjodalv handled guitars, before they switched positions. More...
It's Pit Story time yet again metal heads!
This one has a simple moral: don't be a dick at shows! Giant Of The Mountain tells the story like this:
You see a lot of interesting things when you’re out on the road and one of those crazy things that topped the charts for us happened at a show in Santa Cruz, CA. It was a packed venue and all the bands had been amazing that night. By the time the last band went on, their front man was pretty toasty, and not in the happy fun way. He spent a good amount of time complaining and bitching at a sound guy that was doing everything he could to make it a good night for everyone.
Then it got to the point where the front man walked off stage in the middle of their set only to have his girl talk him back into getting on stage and performing. By this time the venue had emptied out a little bit, but there were a few people who hung around. During one of their songs, their scrawny singer decides to grab his water bottle and squirt the entire thing all over this huge dude who clearly lived at the gym. Much to everyone’s delight, he was promptly yanked off stage and punched in the face a few good times.
The entire venue went completely quiet except for the vocalist moaning and bleeding from his now broken nose while his girl freaked out. It was super hilarious and well deserved at that point. I almost started a slow clap, but I was a visitor and the rest of the night had been great, so I decided to be respectful. Moral of the story: Don’t be a dick.
The Dallas, Texas group Giant Of The Mountain is now working on a new release to follow 2014's "Moon Worship." The band will also be hitting the road for an east coast tour this coming April, with date and venue info available at Facebook here. While waiting for new material, check out a song off "Moon Worship" below. More...
Black metal is famous for its fierce opposition to organised religion, particularly Christianity. Most of the bands that espouse the anti-Christian view come from Christian or secular countries with a history of Christianity themselves, such as Norway, Sweden or Great Britain. This week, we’re taking a look at something of a strange case, as we examine a black metal band with opposition to religion from one of the Holiest cities on Earth, Jerusalem. A band who combined the surrounding languages of the Torah, the Bible and the Talmud to forge their name. A moniker formed in fire, Melechesh.
Melechesh was originally intended to be a one man band such as Burzum by Murat Cenan, better known as Ashmedi, or Melechesh Ashmedi, and took the name from the words "melech," which means king, and "esh," which means fire, two words rooted in Hebrew and Aramaic. Melechesh was soon expanded into a full band however, comprising of Israelis of Armenian and Asyrrian descent. Before they even released an album, the group themselves were not just talk of the metal underground with their demo, "As Jerusalem Burns..." and single, "The Siege of Lachish," but also in deep trouble with the local authorities, who charged Melechesh with "dark, cult like activities," with one Jerusalem paper even making them front page news, albeit with plenty of inaccuracies thrown in. More...
There's less nudity and fecal matter this time around, but the story isn't any less crazy as Necronomicon vocalist Rob The Witch shares a cautionary tale about retaliation: it never goes the way you think it will.
Due to a case of mistaken identity, the band ended up with a useless RV that had to be scrapped following a North American tour. Rob had this to say:
We were on a U.S. / Canadian tour (not the latest one) and when we arrived in San Francisco everything was looking like a regular day at the job, you know, load in the gear installing the merch booth, setting the dressing room and of course verifying our RV to be sure everything is in order.
All was perfect and the show was rumbling with a crazy crowd. After performing we went to the merch section and talked with the fans, signed autographs and took pictures. So far all good and nothing special.
Then after we loaded out and hit the road my drummer told me there’s a was a weird stain on the side of the RV. Like something splashed around the back part on driver side. We didn't pay too much attention saying ‘’you know its a big city a lot of stupid stuff happen’’ ...yeah right.
While driving in the night we started to have engine problems and going up in the mountains on our way to Lake Tahoe the RV was backfiring 2 meter flames out of the exhaust pipes, like artillery shots. Trust me it was loud as fuck in the night with the echo of the valley and mountains.
We soon realized that someone added something to our gas tank, and from there the real shit started. We lost our LA show in that run due to the fact that we had to stop so many times to drain the tank again and again. We arrived at the Whiskey a GO GO 5 mins after the beginning of OUR time on the tour schedule. We had to deal with that for the rest of the entire tour, all the way up to Canada.
2 weeks later we received some details telling us we were victim of an error. The day of the show in San Francisco, one guy from another band with us on that tour got into a fist fight with someone from the production at the venue. Thinking our RV belonged to the other band, someone added some powder cement to our tank.
We did receive a form of apologies, without being given the name of the person who did that, but it was done and we haven't been able to rescue the RV, too many problems happened as a result of that and we had to dump it during the next tour. But that is another story.
Necronomicon's new single "Unification of Four Pillars" can be heard below, taken off upcoming album "Advent of The Human God." The album is due out through Season of Mist (Europe March 18th / North America March 25th) and pre-orders are up now at this location. More...
It’s that special month again! Black Metal History Month is back for its fifth instalment, with some of the heaviest and most controversial bands lined up to celebrate our trademark four weeks of darkness. To get things going, we’re going to kick off the month with perhaps one of the craziest stories we’ve yet to cover in Sunday Old School by taking a look at one of Sweden’s most infamous bands, Dissection.
Dissection can trace its roots back to a thrash metal band, Siren’s Yell, which featured future members Peter Palmdahl, Öhman and Jon Nödtveidt. They only lasted one demo before Nödtveidt and Öhman spent a short time in a band called Rabbit’s Carrot, a group which the duo found very lightweight so they worked on darker and more aggressive music, which the other members rejected. This led Nödtveidt to form Dissection in the autumn of 1989 with Peter Palmdahl, with Öhman joining the pair once again the following spring. They soon recorded a demo, "Severing into Shreds," which they distributed to fanzines with the message that the recording marked the birth of Dissection and that they were "about to make a heavy impact on the scene." More...
Oh guys, we've got a doozy of a Pit Story for you today!
This one's got it all: unwanted fecal matter, a dude too drunk to realize he shouldn't be naked, and an, er... "half mast" salute to Behemoth at Bloodstock Open Air.
Whether for good or ill, there's also video of the whole debacle below, if you've got the courage to give it a view.
This week's tale comes courtesy of Barnes, the guitarist / saxophone player from Welsh death metal band Intensive Square, who had this to say about witnessing something that can never be un-seen:
Undoubtedly the craziest thing I have seen inside or outside of a venue, would have to be during Behemoth's headline set on Saturday 11th August 2012, at Bloodstock Open Air Festival in Derbyshire. I'll set the scene: there was a huge boisterous rabble of our friends that went to the festival together and we spent the majority of that day drinking at our campsite. As the night drew in, we made our way into the festival area to catch Behemoth's set. In the mania of his inebriation, our good friend (who, for the purposes of this tale, we'll call Tony) repeatedly proclaimed that right at that moment Behemoth were "the greatest living metal band." When we reached the main stage, the band were already in full swing amidst a stage laden with Satanic artifacts and spewing pyrotechnics into the night sky.
Once we had weaved through the crowd and got as close to the stage as we were going to, the band began to play "Chant For Eschaton 2000." Tony went ballistic: "Fuck, boys! This is fucking insane! Behemoth is my favourite fucking band, boys!" and then he started to undress. Pissed beyond reason, mesmerized, and now completely naked, Tony bent over to pick up his red cap and simultaneously evacuated an unintentional morsel of shit from his bowel at the centre of a slowly widening circle of strangers; the festering eye of an uncomfortable storm.
"Boys, you've got to get me up there" he implored. Once our friends Andrew and Jamie had volunteered to raise him on their shoulders, Tony glanced down at his disappointing penis and realised that his general had been demoted to the rank of cadet and that he was not fit for the parade. He scoured the immediate crowd in search of a handjob, seeking to "make it a bit bigger," but upon realising that no help was at hand, he set about the task himself.
As Chant for Eschaton 2000 reached its climax, Tony was treacherously hoisted upwards until he was standing erect above the crowd, still pumping his fist in a futile bid to cajole his limp penis into following suit. He soon realised that this was a thankless task and gave up. Steadying himself with one hand, he slowly raised the other and formed an exultant horn as he shared the perplexed gazes of guitarists Seth and Nergal.
I know you might reconcile this as a fantastical myth, too implausible to have really happened, but luckily you don't have to take my word for it. Just check out the video below and skip to 49:20 where you can see the evidence for yourself as broadcast live on the official Bloodstock coverage of the festival.
Intensive Square's debut album "Anything That Moves" is out now on Black Bow Records on vinyl. For more info on the band, head over to Facebook here.
Metal music is full of weird and wonderful bands. Though many outsiders may see the genre as simple or worse, “just noise,” there have been many groups to utilise the sound with musical intellect such as Sigh and Dream Theater to name but two. Today’s featured band is another to create a sound all of their own and gain a rabid following in the metal community, one of the biggest, though maybe shortest names in the alternative metal area, Tool.
Tool began life in 1990, after all their founding members had moved to Los Angeles the previous decade. Whilst two founding members, Adam Jones and Paul D’Amour had originally come to the city to find work in the film industry, the other two, Danny Carey and Maynard James Keenan (the latter an art graduate who had been making a living remodelling pet stores,) had previously tasted what it was like being part of a cult musical act in their time with Green Jelly. Keenan and Jones would meet in 1989 through a mutual friend and decided to put together their own band, jamming together while actively seeking a rhythm section. Carey would be the next member to join, convenient since he lived above Keenan and had previously met Jones through his old friend, Tom Morello. Introductions were to play a key role again, as the lineup was completed when D’Amour, who he met via a friend, joined the ranks. More...