Archive: Just For Funs
In light of my recent "Just for Fun" post about the Alf playing death metal video, metalunderground.com member WhyLordWhy has suggested a couple more humorous videos:
- Dying Fetus's "Kill Your Mother Rape Your Dog" video set to kids' shows and cartoons.
- Another named "Beth-Dime(cover death/black metal)" appears to be some pop singer synced to death metal vocals. I don't know who this is, so if there is some deeper meaning or humor to this one, someone please explain.
I'm sure this video has been floating around the Internet for a while, but I just saw it. "If Alf Were To Make A Death Metal Music Video" - the title says is all. The video is clips of that bad 80's muppet star of his self-named TV show, Alf, "playing" Exhumed's "DeathWalks Behind You." You can watch the video here.
With all the rumors going around about the bands on Ozzfest, Antimusic.com thought it would be fun to look at some of the latest rumors:
Guns N' Roses - We now know that Axl and company are making the rounds at European festivals this Spring but will they headline Ozzfest? It could happen but then again they could easily sellout the same venues on their own and keep all the cash instead of sharing with Sharon.
AC/DC - Given that Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, two bands that do well on their own, have done the tour in the past it's not too crazy to think of AC/DC heading the fest but again they might be better off on their own.
Korn - Since they aren't drawing like they used to on their own this might make be a good fit.
Alice in Chains - Judas Priest used Ozzfest for their comeback but a Layne-less AIC might not attract enough $$ for Sharon.
System of a Down - Given how much they love greedy capitalist like Sharon, who knows?
Body Count - Ice T supposedly told a radio DJ that they are doing it. Would be kind of cool to have a credible rap rock band on the tour for a change.
Tool - would be cool but they are supposed to have some conflicting summer gigs already in the can.
Metallica - management killed this rumor. Maybe they will team up with Guns N Roses again and do stadiums? Hey we can start rumors too, just look at the next section!
Since rumors are so fun, we're gonna start our own. Sharon wants to expand Ozzfest's reach and wants to sell as many tickets as possible so what about these bookings? Backstreet Boys, 50 Cent and Britney Spears. Think it's a stretch? Sharon did put Crazy Town on the main stage one year and let's not forget about Linkin Park and Adema.
Ozzy Osbourne fan site Ozzyhead.com has uploaded Ozzy's "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" TV commercial, which began airing in the UK earlier this month. You can download and watch it here.
Shinan Govani of Canada's National Post reports that Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee nearly got duped into hooking up with a transsexual while partying in Toronto the other night at the Ultra Supper Club. "My body looked incredible, if I do say so myself," Nina Arsenault, the certifiable transsexual said.
Nina says that she was approached twice by Lee's "people" before she finally decided to go and meet the famous musician and reality-TV star. She "crouched" on the floor beside and looked up at him. "An old tactic," she says, discussing her technique. He then told her she was "extraordinarily beautiful." You, she told him, "look better in person." After that, they ordered two shots each. She downed hers quickly, while he, she says, "gagged" on his. She wasted no time, then, in calling him a "p---y." He apologized, telling her: "I've been drinking tequila since 7 a.m."
Things, you see, were going just swimmingly, when somebody took it upon themselves to tell Lee's bodyguard about the Nip/ Tuck-ness of it all, and the bodyguard then whispered something in the star's ear. "That's when he took a good, long look at me," Nina recalls.
A bucket of cold water seemed to come splashing down. "You know what? I'm dying for a cigarette," Lee was heard to say, as he got up from the table with his posse. "Great!" said Nina, as she trailed behind them. As they were approaching the "smoking room," however, Lee's bodyguard put up his hand and laid down the law. "You're not coming with us," he told her.
Read the full article at Canada's National Post.
The hugley popular online cartoon Homestar Runner has taken it upon themselves to cover death metal in their latest "Email" skit. You can view the cartoon directly at this location (requires Flash).
I'm not a huge fan myself, so I will provide Wikipedia's synopsis of the Internet phenomenon:
"Homestar Runner (often abbreviated HR, HSR or H*R) is a cartoon series which is generally distributed as Macromedia Flash animations available from HomestarRunner.com. It mixes an absurdist sense of humor with copious references to 1980s and 1990s pop culture, notably video games, classic television and popular music. Although originally conceived as a book written for children, the series is most popular with (and has increasingly catered to) college/university students and young adults."
"Cartoons nominally center on Homestar Runner, a clumsy and unintelligent athlete. The antagonist Strong Bad, however, is more popular among many fans, and the series of cartoons in which he answers email from viewers is the most prominent feature of the site. Strong Bad works closely with his sidekick The Cheat and his muscle-bound older brother Strong Mad to prey on Strong Bad's rotund and constantly depressed younger brother Strong Sad..."
THE METALIZER is taking pop songs, one by one, and turning them into 'metal' tunes (ed. more like glam metal). To hear what all the fuss is about, head to themetalizer.com. Tunes by KYLIE MINOGUE, BRITNEY SPEARS and others have been revamped.
Every family has its Holiday Traditions, from the holy to the secular, the materialistic to the generous and everything in between. Screaming through the Holiday Season Century Media artists prepare for eating, drinking and making merry!
IMPALED - Ross Sewage
“Ah, the dead of winter... my favorite time of year! Well, first I join my family and we start the burning of the Cruel Log. It burns for eight magical days... or for however long we keep pouring the oil from a dead baby seal's fat onto it. Then we take the kids and get a photo of them sitting on Satan's lap at the Church of Satan in San Francisco. We all ask for the coming year to deliver revenge upon our enemies. One of my favorite moments is decorating the XXX-Mess tree with ornamental dongs, dildos, and effigies of Jenna Jameson. Finally we tuck the kids away, and by kids, I mean me. The next day I get up to receive the presents Satan brought for me because I've been naughty all year. YAY!! A new scalpel and bonesaw! For New Year's... I get drunk. Big surprise.”More...
This video clip (viewable here or here) has been making its way around the internet for a while now, but I thought I'd share it with our readers. It shows home Christmas lights synchronized to flash in time to a musical score, in this case Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Wizard in Winter" (from The Lost Christmas Eve album). This display was the work of Carson Williams of Mason, Ohio, who spent about three hours sequencing the 88 Light-O-Rama channels that control the 16,000 Christmas lights in his 2004 holiday lighting spectacular. The musical accompaniment is broadcast over a low-power radio station. Snopes' Urban Legends Reference pages says this video is the real thing and not doctored.
After a December 6, 2005 traffic accident in his neighborhood, Carson Williams agreed to indefinitely discontinue his 2005 Christmas light display because it was causing severe traffic congestion problems.
The tie-in to metal, of course, is that Trans-Siberian Orchestra features Savatage (and solo) guitarist Chris Caffrey and former and present touring Testament guitarist Alex Skolnick.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra recently played live on Good Morning America on Wednesday, December 14, and on Live With Regis And Kelly on Thursday, December 15.
I want to wish our readers a safe and happy holidays, merry Christmas or whatever you might celebrate, and a very metal new year!
A Norwegian heavy metal fan who chased his neighbor with a spear after she asked him to lower the volume on his music has been sentenced to 42 days in jail.
An unidentified college student in Trondheim was studying for an exam in May but was distracted by the booming heavy metal music coming from next door, Aftenposten reported Wednesday. She knocked on her neighbor's door to ask him to turn down his music and was horrified when he picked up a spear, the newspaper Adresseavisen reported. He allegedly told her he could play his music as loud as he wanted, then chased the woman back into her room - cutting her on the finger with the spear.
Police used a police dog, clubs and pepper spray later to separate the man from his spear. The assailant reportedly told police he had consumed 18 beers.
Former Creed frontman Scott Stapp (music) has responded to 311 (music)'s account of his recent Thanksgiving-day melee with the group, which 311 claimed the singer started. More...
Read the full article at Scott Stapp disputes 311's account of bar brawl .
First, Stapp allegedly got into a barroom brawl with members of 311 (music) on Thanksgiving. 311 posted its version of the incident at its MySpace.com website on Wednesday (11/30). Then, the singer was the topic of a conversation on Thursday's (12/1) edition of "The Howard Stern Show" following an allegedly intoxicated run-in with Stern's girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky.
"We did not intend to discuss this incident publicly, but since rumors are beginning to spread we'd like to set the record straight," reads 311's blog entry. "On November 24th (Thanksgiving), 311 had the day off in Baltimore, Maryland. [311 members] Chad Sexton, SA Martinez & P-Nut were relaxing in a hotel lounge with their wives and friends watching a basketball game on television. Scott Stapp entered the bar. He appeared intoxicated. He drank a shot at the bar and then threw his shot glass, smashing it on the bar."
The band's message goes on to claim that Stapp "was acting belligerent and got into an argument with patrons sitting at the bar," and that he then sat down next to Martinez and his wife and "made a disrespectful and crude remark" to Martinez's wife.
"Chad and SA asked him to step away," the blog entry continues. "He then sucker-punched Chad. Scott was looking for a fight--and that's what he got."
Martinez, who reportedly ended up with a fractured knuckle as a result of the skirmish, has since been quoted by MTV News as saying that he "threw a punch and hit Scott," who he said "went down," and that Sexton then "came over and hit Scott too."
Hotel security and police broke up the melee, and police questioned all involved, but no arrests were made and no charges have been filed, according to published reports. Stapp was ultimately asked to leave the hotel, according to 311.
A spokesperson for Stapp declined to comment on the incident, but hotel security director Jonathan Jordan painted a different picture, according to a Billboard report, in which Jordan claimed that Stapp was "attacked" by 311 band members.
"It was definitely started by 311," Jordan is quoted as saying.
Stapp's troubles apparently continued during a Tuesday (11/29) taping of cable-television channel Spike TV's "Casino Cinema," which Ostrosky hosts with actor Steve Schirripa ("The Sopranos"), and on which Stapp was the scheduled celebrity guest.
Stern said on the air Thursday (12/1) that, according to Ostrosky, Stapp showed up "drunk out of his frickin' mind, wasted on something," and proceeded to tell Ostrosky--who, at that point, he didn't know was Stern's girlfriend--that "bimbo's like you, they don't go for me."
Stern went on to say that Stapp was "yelling and screaming, [with] a chip on his shoulder," and that Ostrosky assured Stern that Stapp will "look like a jerk" when his appearance on "Casino Cinema" airs Dec. 6.
While on the set of "Casino Cinema," according to the New York Daily News, Stapp also said that he recently met U2's Bono and the Edge, and that "Bono was an a--hole" to him, and that Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl--who once mocked Stapp by doing an unflattering impersonation of the singer while covering Creed's "With Arms Wide Open"--had a "freaking little" sex organ.
Claims of allegedly intoxicated behavior aren't new to Stapp. In 2003, several fans filed a class-action lawsuit against him and the rest of Creed, in which they claimed that the 15,000 fans who attended one of the band's performances in Chicago were entitled to a refund because Stapp was allegedly inebriated to the point that he was barely able to perform. The case was dismissed in 2003.
In June of 2004, Creed announced that it had broken up. Guitarist Mark Tremonti, drummer Scott Phillips and original Creed bassist Brian Marshall--who split with the group in 2000--teamed with former Mayfield Four singer Myles Kennedy to form Alter Bridge, which released its debut set last year.
Stapp, meanwhile, offered up his solo debut, titled "The Great Divide," last month. The disc sold about 94,000 copies during its first week in stores, and debuted at No. 19 on The Billboard 200.
By comparison, Creed's final album--2003's "Weathered"--sold almost 900,000 copies during its first week out, and debuted atop the album chart.
Read the full article at Live Daily.
VATNAJÖKULL GLACIER, ICELAND—In an emergency session Tuesday, members of the Supreme Metal Council strongly condemned the increasing use of the metal hand sign in lay society, claiming that its meaning has become perverted by overuse.
Elders of the Supreme Metal Council examine amateur-video evidence of what they are calling "a worrisome trend."
"The metal sign, or 'sign of the goat,' has all but lost its impact as a token of respectful recognition for something truly 'rocking' or 'metal,'" SMC president Terence "Geezer" Butler said. According to Butler, members are upset that their sacred gesture is being used to acknowledge and celebrate "favorable but clearly non-metal events."
Formed in 1972 and comprising 12 of the most revered leaders of the metal community, the council meets annually in its majestic hall atop Vatnajökull, Iceland's largest glacier, to discuss metal affairs. The SMC convened for a special session after Nikki Sixx, Overlord Of Glam Metal Affairs, was sent hard photographic evidence of metal-sign abuse across the nation. Sixx's fellow high priests said they were "shocked," calling it "one of the most serious affronts to metal's integrity since the rise of rap-metal in the late 1990s."
Read the full article at The Onion.
BoingBoing.net has made a post, likely inspired by the most recent "Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time". The post contains several pictures for illustrative purposes as well as external links, so I will simply link to it here. The intruduction to the post starts like this:
"What is black metal? There are as many definitions as there are demons in Satan's subterranean condo. And like those hot-and-bothered helldwellers, Black Metal afficionados are a contentious lot -- sometimes even murdering one other over who is and isn't true to the genre."
BoingBoing.net posts all sorts of weird stories, and it's funny to see a stray Black Metal post, however devoid of real content.
A link contributed by a reader also worth a glance is this How to make your very own Black Metal band.
Certainly a post for those metal geeks (I know you're out there) and console gamers, Metroidmetal.com has taken many of the in-game songs from Metroid and Super-Metroid, games praised for their music as well as gameplay and replay value, and created metal-infused versions of those songs. Here's straight from the website itself:
"metroidmetal.com is a place to celebrate the mysterious and hypnotic melodies from nintendo's classic game series, metroid. these songs beg for more energy, so I've created this site to experiment with the genre that would suit these songs the best... metal. here, I've made all songs available for download on the songs page. there's more to come. thanks for visiting, tell your friends, and visit the messageboard for more info!!"
You can go to metroidmetal.com for more information and to download the songs (under "songs").
It's been a year since Mike of Ruthlessreviews.com posted his famous Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time. He has just recently followed this up with (The Other) Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time. These are humorous must-read pages for any metalhead who can laugh at metal and/or black metal (whether a fan of it or not).
This is old news, but also a request. If you haven't seen the Volkswagon commercial featuring Diecast's "Rise and Oppose," then go check it out here (fourth ad-thumbnail). I laughed out loud when I first saw the commercial on TV, and it's cool to have good extreme music make an entrance into mainstream media even if it's as a joke of sorts.
I am looking for a copy of this commercial that can be downloaded in any video format (or flash) available for the PC. Please post the URL in the comments for my eternal gratitude.
A deep enthusiasm for the Norwegian languages is thriving at La Sapienza University in Rome. The modern and historical languages are seen as an exotic and romantic subject thanks to student passion for Norwegian Black Metal bands.
Teacher Sven Otto Scheen's class full of black leather and metal-studded pupils in Rome is part of the NRK (Norwegian Broadcasting) series Typisk Norsk (Typically Norwegian), which examines aspects of the Norwegian language.
Almost all of the 15 students studying Norwegian in Scheen's class are doing so because of their devotion to Norwegian Black Metal bands. More...
After several quotes reportedly said by Lars circulated around the 'net, Lars has made a statement that he has assumed ownership of Beatallica, the band who plays "Beatles tunes, Metallica-style".
"I did the right thing and stood up to the megacorporation who was trying to bully the little guy (Beatallica). But there's no free lunch in life. N-n-n-napster (sic) should have taugh you that much. I had to sell two of my paintings to pay for those lawyers' time to consult on the matter, so I am exercising the my rights written into the agreement Beatallica signed when we began negotiating with Sony on their behalf. I am taking over the band and will assume all profits from performances and merchandising until that time my debt incurred is paid off. I have the final say in everything the band does. Furthermore, if the band decides to disband, I am entitled to their regular wages to pay back the legal fees."
Beatallica had been slapped with a cease and desist order by Sony and had its website(s) shut down as a result of the claimed copyright infringement of the Beatles' musical compositions. Tierney, 35, an occupational therapist by day, was pleasantly surprised when Ulrich called him a few weeks ago and helped negotiate with Sony's lawyers in order to clear the matter.
But Tierney was furious when he heard Lars' statement. A mostly bleeped/edited version of Tierney's reaction was aired on "live" (time delayed) MTV news. What he actually said remains under debate, but he was clearly pissed.
When reached for comment in light of Tierney's televised reaction, Lars had only a short message while waving the devil's horns and making deranged faces:
"Larz 0wnz Beatallica. Larz 0wns j00!"
Read the full article at this location.
Metalunderground.com has gotten word from a friend of a friend of Fred Durst who reveals that Durst's leaked porn video was part of a half-baked plan at achieving Tommy Lee-like fame as both the rocker and the sex object. Our source revelaed that the "computer repairman" was a friend, or rather accomplice, of Dursts who did exactly as he was told by leaking the video footage.
Upon hearing this story, our source says he immediately went and downloaded the footage form the Internet and, much to his chagrin, watched it. "It was sooooo ameteur. The problem is that [Fred Durst] didn't have the tool [sic] or the camera presence that Tommy Lee has. He didn't have Pamela either for that matter. He obviously didn't think his plan through very well."
It wasn't hard to find out from the Limp Bizkit fan club coordinator, who is seeking a new job, that their fan club had been bleeding members - presumed to be largely female - since the incident and is at a level of membership not seen since "Three Dollar Bill Yall$".
Durst could not be reached for comment, but we're sure we'll hear plenty out of his big mouth once he's ready to talk.
Read the full article at this location.