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Archive: Just For Funs

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Take the Heavy Metal Umlaut Quiz

The guys over at Mental Floss have created a Heavy Metal Umlaut Quiz. It's a fun waste of time.

"Can you pick out the correct placement of the world's heaviest diacritic in each band name? (Word of warning: Some band names may contain no umlauts whatsoever. Sissies.) "

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Kiss To Release Limited Edition M&M's

Kissonline.com is reporting that Kiss will have their own limited edition M&M brand released this October. The first promotional image of Kiss in M&M form can be viewed here. Kiss is currently set to release a new studio album on October 6th. Some of the projected song titles include "Russian Roulette," "Modern Day Delilah," and "Stand."

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Maurizio Iacono Drawn As Metal Toon

Kataklysm / Ex Deo front man Maurizio Iacono has posted a "metal toon" image of himself in Roman themed armor online. The picture can be viewed here.

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11 Metal Covers Of Michael Jackson Songs

We figured we'd wait until you're thoroughly sick of hearing about Michael Jackson's death before posting our own article. Inspired by Metalunderground.com reader Gorecunt's Facebook note, I've compiled a list of metal Michael Jackson covers from YouTube, some more serious than others. While Jacko really has nothing to do with metal, some of our readers may still have enjoyed his music. Please raise your hands to be banned (just kidding). As such, this is all purely for fun, regardless what you think of him. Eleven metal(ish) covers of Michael Jackson songs can be seen below (with a couple of bonuses as well), after the jump. More...

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Bluegrass Cover of Dark Tranquillity Posted Online

Sweden's Slaughter of the Bluegrass, known for playing unplugged versions of death metal songs, has uploaded a bluegrass cover of Dark Tranquillity's "Punish My Heaven." Check it out at www.sotb.se.

Also available on the web site is a cover of At the Gates' "Blinded by Fear."

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Bret Michaels Gets Laid Out By Stage Backdrop

Poison frontman Bret Michaels got laid out by a stage back drop at the 2009 Tony awards. You can watch the video below. More...

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Dragonforce "Greatest Hits" Out Now

A video parodying power metal outfit Dragonforce has surfaced on YouTube. The video, cleverly edited to appear like a real commercial, claims to be advertizing Dragonforce's "Greatest Hits", showing off the bands singles in all their glory. You can check out the video below. More...

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Unearth's Ken Susi In "I Want Candy" Video

Unearth's Ken Susi has created a video for Little Girl's Club's "I Want Candy." The song was written and recorded by Ken Susi, performed by Alison, video produced by Punchdance. You can watch the video below. More...

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Rob Halford Reveals Scarring Secret

Ever since Judas Priest hit the scene in the 70’s, metalheads world-wide have been put in a trance by Rob Halford’s impressive vocal abilities, mainly his ability to sing notes that, to other male vocalists, would seem emasculating. Though Rob has revealed some time not too long ago that he was a gay man, which is something that the metal scene of his time would not accept, he has another secret that he’s kept from us all: Robert John Arthur Halford was born on August 25th, 1951, as a woman. More...

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Axl Rose: "I Was Abducted By Aliens"

Guns N Roses mainman Axl Rose doesn't have it easy. In an interview conducted this morning in light of his planned American Idol appearance, Axl has broken the silence on his disappearance around the release of “Chinese Democracy.”

During his disappearance for two months in 2008, Axl Rose claims he was actually abducted by aliens. "I couldn't say anything about it at the time. When I returned, I went to the FBI and they said I had to keep this story under wraps..."

Clearly emotional and having trouble collecting himself, Rose continued, “They did all sorts of tests on me. I could never see their faces. There were always these bright lights. All I could think about is how I'm not even going to see my fifteen year masterpiece released to the world...how I wouldn't be able to tour. I promise all of my fans that I will uphold my touring commitments from now on. I won't take any of this for granted any more.”

Conspiracy theorists were fast at work trying to prove that it was the Chinese government who actually kidnapped and duped the aging hair metal star for speaking out against the current regime. His re-emergence in Dulles National Airport, completely disoriented, only fueled the speculation.

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DragonForce Slays Career and Gets Rejected

It’s 6:41 in Eastern Canada and I have just received news of problems within DragonForce. Herman Lee has given me the following information to confirm for their fan base world-wide: their lead singer has quit the band and now works in the homosexual pornography ring, and Herman now composes all of Nintendo’s music. A remix of Ultra Beatdown will be made available for download on Xbox Live with even more game sounds and the same stuff you’ve heard before. Lastly, when they asked Tarja Turunen to do a collaboration with them, she replied simply with, "Fuck that. Even I haven’t sunk that low yet."

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KISS Army Declares War On Gwar

In what will go down as the biggest war related news story since The Cuban Missile Crisis, the loyal fans of KISS, or the KISS army as they are known, have declared war upon the band Gwar. The army claims that while they have come to terms that KISS didn't make the greatest music in history, neither did Gwar. Yet Gwar are still praised for their stage show unlike KISS. The fans were seen heading in the direction of Gwar's home town in tanks and KISScopters, all of which bore the four famous faces of KISS. No-one knows how successful they will be but they are expected to further their crusade against Lordi should they be victorious against Gwar.

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Velvet Revolver To Find New Singer on Rockstar: VR

Velevet Revolver, who has been searching for a new singer for months, has decided to sign a TV deal to do so via the new show, entitled “Rockstar: VR.” The “VR” is not just and abbreviation for the band's name, however, it's a play on words. In an interesting twist, the band and prospective singers will interact via a virtual reality program that's being developed by Activision, makers of the Guitar Hero series. The project's lead developer had this to say about it:

“This new technology is the future of online performances. Visionary Serj Tankian once spoke about his vision of performing from anywhere and 'holographic touring' of sorts, and now he's put his money where his mouth is and become an investor in Activision and part owner of this project in particular. It's not quite 'holographic,' but the virtual reality environment is the next best thing. We're all excited about this possibility to revolutionize touring and enable concerts to be broadcast in near life-like reality anywhere in the world. Judging from the number of people who love playing Guitar Hero and have commented on the characters, we think this will be a huge success.” More...

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Movie To Be Made About Soulfly's Max Cavalera

A biographical movie about the life of legendary metal vocalist Max Cavalera has been confirmed by Universal Pictures. The man behind such bands as Sepultura and Soulfly will be portrayed on the silver screen by the legendary John Goodman with his younger brother Igor being played by Steve Buscemi. The movie is entitled, "Morbid Visions: The Story Max Cavalera" and is scheduled to begin shooting in early May. Rumours are already spreading like wildfire as to who else will appear in the movie. Johnny Depp is the hot rumour for the role of Andreas Kisser, the dashing villain who stole Max's band along with vocalist Derrick Green, who is rumoured to be played by Eddie Murphy. Other actors tipped for the movie include Denis Leary, Bob Hoskins and Sylvester Stallone as the singing voice of Max Cavalera.

The movie will be directed by Steven Spielberg's non-union Mexican equavilant Senor Spielbergo, who was originally offered the choice between directing "Morbid Visions" and the new Lord Of The Rings movie, "The Lord Of The Rings: The One Where There's Two Saurons, Frodo Gets Hypnotized By An Evil Wizard and Gandalf Fights A Lava Snake." When asked why he chose to direct Morbid Visions, he responded: "Sepultura es beuno, sequels es el diablo."

You can view a teaser trailer for the movie at YouTube.

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Axl Rose To Guest on American Idol Despite Injury

It has been confirmed that Axl Rose has been announced to serve as a guest judge and special performer on the world's largest singing competition, American Idol.

However, he is currently healing from a freak injury to his ego while hiking in the Amazon rainforest. While Axl was hiking with a group, they came across some natives who had not yet heard of "Chinese Democracy." Axl then reportedly asked if they knew where they were. The natives then responded, "You're in the jungle, baby."

"It hurt my soul," weeped Axl, "so I punched them all and left the tour guide."

He still plans to judge and perform on Idol stating that, "This will really test my ego to see if I'm ready to tour GnR later this year."

When asked why the rock star decided to participate, Axl responded, "I view this as a great opportunity to both help these contestants learn how to cover my songs when they make it big, and also to promote my latest masterpiece (Chinese Democracy). When Simon contacted me to assist during 'Rock Week' (since renamed to 'Axl Week'), I couldn't refuse. I know I'm too metal for a pop show, but this is a chance to put 'Chinese Democracy' in every home across the globe."

The contestants will be limited to choosing songs off of 'Chinese Democracy' and will watch as Axl performs all of the parts of each song for them, by himself. The show is anticipating setting a new ratings record.

When asked if a Guns n' Roses reunion could be in line or if any former members would also be participating by making a special guest apperance with him, Axl responded, "Fuck those fucking fucks! I am Guns n' Roses! I've always been Guns n' Fucking Roses! AHHHH!"

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Rock of Love Tour Bus Recap: Bret Chooses Big John

In an unprecedented move, VH1 has stepped in and named Bret’s security guard and go to man, Big John, the winner of the latest installment of Rock of Love.

Watching each season as Bret Michaels sleeps with gorgeous strippers, assorted white trash, and ex-porn stars, Big John patiently waited his turn. Secretly taking notes and gathering dirt on all the girls, knowing he was Bret’s soul mate. He prayed each night this day would come. More...

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Paul Di'anno Forms Worlds First Cockney Metal Band

It seems to be a crazy day for Iron Maiden with the announcement earlier today that Bruce Dickinson will be retiring from the band and that Maiden will be re-recording their classic songs with legendary heavy metal vocalists. However, the latest news from the Iron Maiden is one that many wouldn't have seen coming in a million years. Former Iron Maiden vocalist Paul Di'Anno has announced that he will be launching a new band that blends heavy metal music with traditional British pub music.

"It's a dying art form." states Di'Anno, "Pubs in Britain are being closed at an alarming rate and at this rate there won't be a traditional British pub left! The old pub sing-a-longs are almost a thing of the past too and that's no good. So I put my mind to work and came to the conclusion that I really needed to do something to help out. I've called up a few mates of mine and we're gonna be forming a band to save the pint! Think Iron Maiden meets Chas and Dave, something totally new! We'll be recording our debut album, 'All Hail To The Ale' later this year, probably around the summer time and then we'll be doing a tour of the UK in, where else? The pub circuit! Oh and one more thing I should probably mention is the name of the band! We're called Blind Beggar and anyone familiar with the history of London will be able to tell you why we chose that!

"See you all soon then

"Your new landlord, Paul Di'Anno"

Blind Beggar mainly features musicians from the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal movement such as former Iron Maiden and Samson drummer Barry "Thunder Stick" Graham and former Angel Witch bass player Kevin Riddles in addition to guitarist Captain Sensible, of legendary punk rock band The Damned. Rumour has it that legendary Deep Purple vocalist Ian Gillan will be joining in the fun on the album too. You can have a look at what to expect from the band in the video below. More...

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Lars Ulrich Gets Settlement Letter From RIAA

Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich, who recently revealed that he illegally downloaded “Death Magnetic” after it leaked ahead of the official release date last year, has been served with a settlement letter by the RIAA. The settlement amount was reportedly $20,000 per song, which comes out to a total of $200,000.

Ulrich commented on the unlikely, yet unwinnable situation:

“I guess I'll just pay it. I mean, I know it's completely absurd, but after calling for the heads of all those who downloaded Metallica songs on Napster, I have no choice but to pay the settlement or appear to be a complete hypocrite despite my current feelings about downloading.”

He elaborated, “On the flip side, I realized that the band, who are the 'victims' here, will not see a penny of this fine, and therefore Metallica and our lawyers will be filing a class action law suit against the RIAA for fair distribution of said settlement monies to the artists they claim to be standing up for.”

In related surprising news, a source close to the drummer has come forward and commented that the version of “Death Magnetic” that Lars downloaded was in fact the Guitar Hero version, to which he admitted it “sounds a shitload better [than the CD version of 'Death Magnetic'].”

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Infernus Disbands Gorgoroth

Just weeks after winning his court case against former band mates Gaahl and King Ov Hell over the rights to the name Gorgoroth, guitarist Infernus has announced that he will be retiring the band. "For me, it was never about making another Gorgoroth album or doing another Gorgoroth tour," he says "I just wanted something to do to be completely honest with you. I guess it was also to prove a point but really, I was just extremely bored and decided a court case would be a good idea because it would take up quite a bit of time. There's not going to be another Gorgoroth album. It's that simple."

Infernus continued to shock fans by adding, "I will be doing a new record under a new moniker and I'll explain that in a minute, but what I really want to do right now is follow my life long ambition of becoming a Home Economics teacher at my local high school. Kids need to learn how to feed themselves and repair their clothes and I want to make it the most metal class available to all students."

Regarding his new band and subsequent record, Infernus claims, "It will be with all the same people that I had previously announced as part of the Gorgoroth lineup, but as I said, we won't be called Gorgoroth. We won't strictly be a metal band. I'm pretty sick of black metal to be honest. We're going to create our own take on America's southern rap music and from now on we're called Souljaroth."

Souljaroth's debut album, "Drop It Like It's Hot Flesh" will be released in September of this year.

When asked about what he thought of Infernus's decision, Gaahl simply replied, "He did WHAT?!"

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"The Osbournes: Reloaded" Canned After One Episode

A Fox "higher up," who was reportedly a fan of Ozzy's in his twenties, has succeeded in his his goal of getting “The Osbournes: Reloaded,” which primiered last night (March 31), taken off the air. "With the fairly poor ratings, it really wasn't hard to accomplish," stated the executive who wished to remain anonymous. "'The Osbournes' caused millions of Ozzy's fans to lose faith in him, but this was purely disgraceful selling out. It's as if Sharon has Ozzy on a leash and just pulls him around and makes him do what she wants. Every time I see the broken rock idol on one of these shows, part of me dies."

The show's debut rated #25th in shows during the same time block, according to the Nielsen ratings, which placed it just after the Hallmark channel's landmark 250th re-airing of “Ghost.”

"Fortunately those viewers are not at all in our target demographic," said another anonymous Fox employee in defense of the ratings.

There were reportedly two more epidodes of the show shot after the pilot, which will likely surface on the Internet in the coming days. Don't bother downloading them.

You can read our recap of the first episode here.

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