Just For Fun
Glenn Danzig Explains Occult Significance of Bricks in Front Yard
Brendan of Filmdrunk.com and Justin Halpern, creator of the popular @ShitMyDadSays Twitter account, had an IM chat that has sparked a flood of news concerning Glenn Danzig.
Justin lives in the same neighborhood as Danzig, and claims Danzig is a bad neighbor. He says Danzig lives in a run-down home and left a pile of bricks in his front yard. He begrudgingly removed the bricks after a neighbor complained about the bricks lowering his property value.
Funny or Die.com posted a news story containing the Tweets at this location. The story also reveals visual evidence of Danzig’s now-infamous stack-o-bricks. We at Metal Underground wanted to hear Danzig’s side of the story, so we went to his house to get the scoop.
Metal Underground: Have you seen the articles around the net about you being a bad neighbor?
Glenn Danzig: Yeah, I’ve seen them and it’s a bunch of crap. I am not poor! Look over there in the driveway and you’ll see my Jaguar. I have other Jags in other locations because I’m rich. I’m rich because I sold my soul to Satan around the time I put out the Samhain album “Samhain III: November Coming Fire.”
Since selling my soul to the Angel of Light, I have to constantly give blood offerings to my dark lord or he’ll take away my worldly powers. He will transform me into a wretched, AVERAGE person. I’ll have a normal, 50s-something body, no Jeet Kune Do round house kicks and most of all, no more (Danzig sings the end segment of “How The Gods Kill”) “HEEEEEYYYYY.” Oh, and then he’ll extract my soul through my broken, twisted body.
Metal Underground: So we can surmise that Satan is good, Satan is your pal?
Glenn Danzig: Satan and I go way back. Really, this is my human form. (Whispers) I’m going to let you in on a secret…I’m really a fallen angel. I am the rebel angel Samayel.
Metal Underground: Didn’t you play Samayel in the movie "Prophecy II?"
Glenn Danzig: They casted me for that part because they know who I truly am. The archangel Daniel really tore my heart out, that’s real history. Why do you think I’m here in human form?
Metal Underground: Why are you here in human form?
Glenn Danzig: Because Daniel hurled me headlong into bottomless perdition. I dwelled there for a while, 1,000,000 years to be exact, and then came to Earth. (Glenn violently jerks his arm back as if he were whipping back a mic chord). Sorry about that. These days I have no control over my stage moves. I get the strangest looks when I involuntarily gyrate my hips while waiting in line at the grocery store.
Metal Underground: Tell us more about your evil home?
Glenn Danzig: See the vines growing around the front of my house. They keep out the sunlight. Demons hate sunlight. I have to keep a constant stream of negative energy flowing. That’s another reason I always wear black, even when I’m washing my car. To a laymen of the occult, that window might look like it’s crooked because of disrepair. That window was built with geometry in mind, the type of geometry specific to astral projection. Most of all, the ceiling drips blood. That was the feature that sold me on this house, but that son of a bitch that sold it to me also promised a robot. I never got that robot. I’m after you and that meat head friend of yours. I’m coming after the two of you’s and I’m gonna get my fuckin’ robot!
Metal Undgerground: What about the bricks your neighbor Todd complained about?
Well, being the master necromancer that I, Glenn Danzig, am, I have the power to conjure the gods of the underworld. I was building a magical sarcophagus to summon the Egyptian god of snakes, Mehen. If it weren’t for that meddling neighbor, that FUCKHEAD TODD, I would be stalking the night with the Serpent King! I planned to put those bricks in the back yard, but that lazy fuck that brought me the bricks, set them in the front yard. I was going to put the coffin in front of my pit of deadly vipers, asps and cobras.
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