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Glenn Danzig Explains Occult Significance of Bricks in Front Yard

Brendan of Filmdrunk.com and Justin Halpern, creator of the popular @ShitMyDadSays Twitter account, had an IM chat that has sparked a flood of news concerning Glenn Danzig.

Justin lives in the same neighborhood as Danzig, and claims Danzig is a bad neighbor. He says Danzig lives in a run-down home and left a pile of bricks in his front yard. He begrudgingly removed the bricks after a neighbor complained about the bricks lowering his property value.

Funny or Die.com posted a news story containing the Tweets at this location. The story also reveals visual evidence of Danzig’s now-infamous stack-o-bricks. We at Metal Underground wanted to hear Danzig’s side of the story, so we went to his house to get the scoop.

Metal Underground: Have you seen the articles around the net about you being a bad neighbor?

Glenn Danzig: Yeah, I’ve seen them and it’s a bunch of crap. I am not poor! Look over there in the driveway and you’ll see my Jaguar. I have other Jags in other locations because I’m rich. I’m rich because I sold my soul to Satan around the time I put out the Samhain album “Samhain III: November Coming Fire.”

Since selling my soul to the Angel of Light, I have to constantly give blood offerings to my dark lord or he’ll take away my worldly powers. He will transform me into a wretched, AVERAGE person. I’ll have a normal, 50s-something body, no Jeet Kune Do round house kicks and most of all, no more (Danzig sings the end segment of “How The Gods Kill”) “HEEEEEYYYYY.” Oh, and then he’ll extract my soul through my broken, twisted body.

Metal Underground: So we can surmise that Satan is good, Satan is your pal?

Glenn Danzig: Satan and I go way back. Really, this is my human form. (Whispers) I’m going to let you in on a secret…I’m really a fallen angel. I am the rebel angel Samayel.

Metal Underground: Didn’t you play Samayel in the movie "Prophecy II?"

Glenn Danzig: They casted me for that part because they know who I truly am. The archangel Daniel really tore my heart out, that’s real history. Why do you think I’m here in human form?

Metal Underground: Why are you here in human form?

Glenn Danzig: Because Daniel hurled me headlong into bottomless perdition. I dwelled there for a while, 1,000,000 years to be exact, and then came to Earth. (Glenn violently jerks his arm back as if he were whipping back a mic chord). Sorry about that. These days I have no control over my stage moves. I get the strangest looks when I involuntarily gyrate my hips while waiting in line at the grocery store.

Metal Underground: Tell us more about your evil home?

Glenn Danzig: See the vines growing around the front of my house. They keep out the sunlight. Demons hate sunlight. I have to keep a constant stream of negative energy flowing. That’s another reason I always wear black, even when I’m washing my car. To a laymen of the occult, that window might look like it’s crooked because of disrepair. That window was built with geometry in mind, the type of geometry specific to astral projection. Most of all, the ceiling drips blood. That was the feature that sold me on this house, but that son of a bitch that sold it to me also promised a robot. I never got that robot. I’m after you and that meat head friend of yours. I’m coming after the two of you’s and I’m gonna get my fuckin’ robot!


Metal Undgerground: What about the bricks your neighbor Todd complained about?

Well, being the master necromancer that I, Glenn Danzig, am, I have the power to conjure the gods of the underworld. I was building a magical sarcophagus to summon the Egyptian god of snakes, Mehen. If it weren’t for that meddling neighbor, that FUCKHEAD TODD, I would be stalking the night with the Serpent King! I planned to put those bricks in the back yard, but that lazy fuck that brought me the bricks, set them in the front yard. I was going to put the coffin in front of my pit of deadly vipers, asps and cobras.

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18 Comments on "Glenn Danzig Good Occultist not Bad Neighbor"

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devul's avatar

Member

1. devul writes:

Funny, but ATHF already did this bit.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 7:53 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rex_84's avatar

Writer

2. Rex_84 writes:

Devul: hence the ATHF reference.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 7:58 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
3. Snake Boy writes:

Is this a real interview or just another stupid April Fool's joke?

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 11:55 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. Fish writes:

Was this actually between Halpern and the other dude?

and to Snake Boy: really man? Glenn may be batsh** insane.... but hes not that insane.

# Apr 2, 2011 @ 2:48 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. THRASH TILL DEATH writes:

HEEEEEYYYYYYY

# Apr 4, 2011 @ 11:38 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
6. Snake Boy writes:

To Post 4 (Fish): Well, if you're right, you're right. lol

# Apr 5, 2011 @ 10:40 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

7. hellrat writes:

what the fvck do ya guys expect???

hey! a twist of caino drives his fvckin braino, ya know bro?

# Apr 5, 2011 @ 11:08 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
8. Snake Boy writes:

lol at the last comment

# Apr 6, 2011 @ 10:07 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
9. warbaby writes:

Glenn has a great sense of humor. The man is a sweetheart just watch him with his fans.

# Apr 6, 2011 @ 11:25 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
10. don't have a name writes:

this interview makes me realise what a fag glenn is.

# Apr 6, 2011 @ 3:01 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
11. Snake Boy writes:

You're a moron, guy who doesn't have a name (aka post 10). Everybody loves Glenn's music... well, almost everybody.

# Apr 6, 2011 @ 5:47 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
12. adtr93 writes:

post 10 didnt get the concept of april fools

# Apr 12, 2011 @ 11:55 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. Snake Boy writes:

Yep, I was thinking the same thing, adtr93 (aka post 12).

# Apr 12, 2011 @ 12:22 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
OlafBerzerker's avatar

Member

14. OlafBerzerker writes:

danziger taking heat for a few bricks.. imagine what the neighbors would say about the human pony girl in my garage. giddyup !

# Apr 12, 2011 @ 3:09 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

15. hellrat writes:

^hahahhahah! goddamn Berzerkr! fvcking brilliant!

thanks for the laughs brother...Hi -ho Silver away! :)

# Apr 12, 2011 @ 3:26 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
16. R Tenney writes:

Yea HR Bezerkers comments always get a chuckle outta me. Dude spent 2 hundo on brews at Moterhead Clutch! Not hard to do; beers are hella expensive in the Great White North! My bar tabs in Montreal have been 200 to 260 ! Eight Canadian for a Blue Light plus tip! Was awesome 5 years ago when I got a buck and a half for our dollar! Now? I couldn't afford to drink there!

# Apr 12, 2011 @ 4:15 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

17. Blindgreed1 writes:

LMFAO @ Berzerker!!!

# Apr 12, 2011 @ 5:38 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
18. Snake Boy writes:

Laughing at post 14's comment too...

# Apr 13, 2011 @ 1:46 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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