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Archive: Just For Funs

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A Guide To Being "Scene"

One of the few humor sites I read, Drivl.com, has an excellent guide on how to be "scene" that I think our readers can appreciate. And by appreciate, I mean make fun of. Here's a short excerpt:

"First and foremost, your AIM/MSN screen name should be some rad song title and/or lyric. Remember, the more x's you have in it, the more scene you are."

"Next, go buy yourself some girl's jeans. Face it, the tighter your jeans are, the more scene you will be, and the more the hardcore kids will hate you for it. Try on a pair of jeans and find that you're a perfect woman's 2? Buy a woman's 0 and suck it in."

Read the full article at Drivl.com.

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Photo Quiz: 80's Hair Metal Bands

EW.com has posted a photo quiz in which you try to guess which 80's hair metal band is in each of 10 different photos with their faces blotted out. Brag about your success in the comments (or make fun of those who do).

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Faith No More To Reunite

It’s commonly understood that Mike Patton is a busy man. By nurturing his growing label Ipecac and providing both vocals and general musical direction to Peeping Tom, Fantomas and Tomahawk, few would be surprised if he added yet another straw to the camels back. However, the latest band added to Patton’s bloated schedule will be none other than Faith No More.

The announcement came during a brief promotional push for Tomahawk’s pending album “Anonymous” (due June 19 via Ipecac Records). The Faith No More reunion was practically mentioned as an apathetic aside. Patton spoke of the new Tomahawk album as somewhat subdued and “more organic ” then stated “And just so the cats out of the bag, Faith No More should be touring Europe and Australia early next year.” Amid gasps and camera flashes from the press, Patton mentioned that the band would debut a new album via Ipecac and was currently negotiating distribution assistance from a major label. The bands lineup has not been confirmed by Patton, nor was there any mention of the new albums progress or direction.

More information is expected to follow in the coming days as Patton continues his promotional stint for the new Tomahawk album among other Ipecac releases set for this year.

Read the full article at this location.

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Courtney Love To Guest on New DevilDriver Album

In a move few could have anticipated, DevilDriver bassist Jason Miller announced during a satellite radio interview, that former Hole vocalist Courtney Love will be providing vocal and guitar parts to not one but two tracks on DevilDriver's forthcoming "The Last Kind Words" (Roadrunner Records).

Rumors about a guest spot on "The Last Kind Words" have been circulating since last fall but the band were mum on the subject until recently. Pushed for details, Miller revealed that both tracks will make the final cut, and that the recording sessions would appear on a limited edition dvd packaged with the album.

The follow up to 2005's The Fury of our Makers Hands is tentatively scheduled for release on June 5. Known track titles are "Damning the Heavens", "Cattle Call" ,"The Last Kind Words", "Bound By the Moon" and "Monsters of the Deep". It is not known which, if any of these tracks will feature Courtney Love.

Read the full article at this location.

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Children of Bodom's Next Album To Be Covers Album

In a recent interview with Children of Bodom, frontman Alexi Laiho has revealed that the band's forthcoming album will be a covers album. Laiho comments:

"Well, we had already done covers of the Ramones and Andrew W.K. and even Britney Spears. So we're like, 'Fuck, we need something else that would shock the metal world because people take metal so fucking seriously.' So we decided on recording an album dedicated to the worst songs in history: Nelly Furtado, Gwen Stefani and shit. On one hand, there is a parody factor in making such covers, but on the other hand it's like 'see, even the shittiest pop single can have some redeeming value if played well.'"

Songs expected to be on the album include:

Akon - Smack That
Justin Timberlake - Sexyback
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Nelly Furtado - Maneater
Kevin Federline - Popozão
Paris Hilton - Stars are Blind
Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
Fall Out Boy - Dance Dance
Shakira - Hips Don't Lie
Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha
Rihanna - SOS
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

Read the full article at this location.

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Sharon Osbourne on Ozzfest 2007: "F*ck Canada"

In a surreal episode of reality mimicking fiction, Sharon Osbourne uttered the phrase best known from South Park when asked a question about why there are no Canadian dates for Ozzfest 2007, which has been dubbed “freefest.” She went on to explain that Canada doesn’t deserve a free festival because year after year they earn less on Canadian dates due to the weak Canadian dollar.

She also revealed that the festival will be skipping the Washington, DC area “in protest of President Bush and everything his government stands for.”

In response to the outcry throughout the metal community about the addition of My Chemical Romance to Ozzfest 2007, Ozzy retorted “It’s f*ckin’ free, don’t go if you don’t like the bands!”

Read the full article at this location.

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Axl Rose Quits GNR, Chinese Democracy Delayed

With Chinese Democracy supposedly completed, Axl Rose has decided to quit the band. Sources close to Rose say that the pressure had mounted to a boiling point and that he could not take it anymore. Fans no longer had faith in him and he could not stand hearing that his former bandmates had gotten him where he is. "His health had started to go downhill in the past few weeks just at the though of possible rejection of the album he has worked a decade on," told a source close to Axl who wished to remain anonymous. "He would not be able to perform in his current state anyway," she continued.

The current Guns N Roses band members have filed suit against Rose, both for control of the name of the band as well as the recording, which he stole before his big announcement.

Once again, fans are left wondering when or if “Chinese Democracy” will ever hit the stores. It’s not like they knew the answer in the first place though.

Read the full article at this location.

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Study: Bands w/ Long Names Have Shorter Life Spans

A study by the music department at the University of Maryland has revealed interesting findings. The study covered 1633 bands, primarily in rock and heavy metal, dating as far back as the late 70s.

Bands with three or more words in their name or 15 or more letters on average were found to last only 46.6% as long as bands with shorter names and 24.7% as long as bands with single word names.

"It seems to be a simple cause and effect relationship. Bands and especially their fans just don't want to put up with saying those ridiculously long names or coming up with abbreviations that are just as hard to pronounce. Over time, as fans tire and defect, the bands' motivation to continue wanes," Dr. Dubrow, a researcher, explained.

A recent example of long-winded disbanded bands that come to mind are Bodies in the Gears of the Apparatus, who were together only 4 years. Additionally, Through The Eyes of the Dead have trouble maintaining a stable lineup and it seems to be only a matter of time before their disband and their members all go on to join shorter-named bands.

In light of this study, some bands with long names have gotten recent attention and been put under the microscope. The Number Twelve Looks Like You have denied rumors of imminent breakup, in light of their recent lineup changes. Fear Before The March of Flames is said to be biding their time with wacky messages about playing their next album on five guitar harps, while they have secretly broken up.

The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza has recenlty dropped off of a tour with From a Second Story Window and HeavyHeavyLowLow, and the band is rumored to be in the midst of a break up since the announcement that guitarist Brad Thomson was starting his own label.

One must be cautioned not to apply this theory to specific bands too literally.

Overall, the results would indicate that the current metalcore and hardcore fads will be short-lived, even moreso than the nu-metal fad where bands typically had one-word names and music just as simplistic. The typical metalcore name is easily recognizable, almost always containing three (or more) words. However, one must question the long term implications of this study - that as time goes on, there will be fewer short names to use, and bands with long names will have shorter lives, leading to a higher rate of band turnover and a logarithmic use of all possible band names.

It is noteworthy that all bands in the “black metal” sub genre were disqualified from this study because the occurrence of black metal bands killing band members or going to jail for long periods of time for heinous crimes skewed the results significantly or made them hard to measure.

Read the full article at this location.

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Araya and Lombardo Start Christian Metal Project

Sources inform us that Slayer frontman Tom Araya and drummer Dave Lombardo have started a yet-named Christian metal side project with ex-Living Sacrifice (and more recently POD) guitarist, Jason Truby. The three have been jamming together since the end of the recent Slayer tour with Unearth and they are presently looking for a second guitarist.

Araya, who is Catholic, has commented several times in recent interviews that he and Lombardo don’t necessarily subscribe to the lyrical content of Slayer’s songs.

“We’ve been playing this kind of music with dark themes and anti-religious topics for a long time now and I feel like I need something new, something more positive in my life,” explained Araya. Chuckling, he continued, “I feel like I have to do some penance as a good Catholic, you know?”

Slayer fans need not worry though – when asked if he is disbanding Slayer, Tom reassured his fanbase: “This new project will not interfere with Slayer any more than me going to church has. It’s just a small side thing at the moment.”

When asked to comment on the project, Kerry King had only this to say: “Whatever Tom and Dave need to do to exorcise their demons and keep the Slayer machine moving is ok with me. I wish them the best on their project.”

Read the full article at this location.

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My Chemical Romance Confirmed For Ozzfest 2007

Self-described rock/metal outfit My Chemical Romance have been confirmed as the final band for Ozzfest 2007, filling the last remaining slot on the main stage with Lordi, Lamb of God and Ozzy Osbourne himself.

My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way was optimistic and enthused about the announcement: “I’m excited to play to such a large crowd on tour this summer and I think the experience will help us get back to our metal roots. I wish we could have played the other year with Iron Maiden, who are a huge inspiration to us, and me personally, but I’m still psyched to be on Ozzfest!”

Shortly after the announcement, Nile frontman Karl Sanders had this to say: “Hell yeah! The prophecy shall be fulfilled. Now we will surely have loads of mall metal posers to lay waste to. That’s exactly what we wanted, although I don’t look forward to the prospect of hearing MCR’s whining on stage every night. We might have to lay waste to the band themselves.”

Rumor has it that My Chemical Romance’s addition to this year’s free Ozzfest was the idea of Jack Osbourne, who says he’s a big fan of the band.

The final Ozzfest 2007 billing now shapes up like this:

Main Stage:


Second Stage – Non-Rotating:


Second Stage – Rotating:


The 24-city OZZFEST will launch July 12 in Seattle, WA at the White River Amphitheatre. The tour was originally announced to start July 7 in Southern California but had to be moved to accommodate the extension of OZZY's European tour. OZZFEST 2007 will also hit Seattle, WA, George, WA, Sacramento, CA, Mountain View, CA, Devore, CA, Phoenix, AZ, Albuquerque, NM, Denver, CO, Kansas City, MO, Dallas, TX, San Antonio, TX, St. Louis, MO, Columbus, OH, Tinley Park, IL, East Troy, WI, Indianapolis, IN, Holmdel, NJ, Hartford, CT, Boston, MA, Philadelphia, PA, Pittsburgh, PA, Detroit, MI, Charlotte, NC and West Palm Beach, FL.

Read the full article at this location.

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New York Times Liken House of Reps To Metalheads

The New York Times website Friday published an article by staff writers Jeff Zeley and Michael Luo about the recent rebuke that the House of Representatives sent to the White House condemning President Bush’s escalation plan.

The only problem was, the photograph that the Times website published prominently above the article was not of Congressmen debating Iraq– but instead of a group of grungy-looking heavy metal fans screaming at a ‘Slayer’ concert in the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan.

The photograph of the unruly concert-goers graced the Times’ website under the serious headline “A Divided House Denounces Plan for More Troops.”

The Times’ article, which was published at 10:04PM Eastern time and will appear in Saturday’s paper, reported that the debate in the House of Representatives “illustrated how the partisan divide over the war has deepened.” Perhaps so, but a quick check of C-SPAN assures The Daily Background that the US House of Representatives has not, in fact, devolved into a pack of bearded, long-haired, screaming ‘Slayer’ fans.

The photograph of the screaming heavy metal fans, taken by New York Times photographer Michael Falco on Thursday, was originally was meant to grace a music review which will also appear in the Saturday Times. (The Times had a mixed review of Slayer, calling it “completely unreasonable music” but also “impressive.”)

You can see a full-size screen shot of the Times' website here.

Read the full article at The Daily Background.

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Underoath and Switchfoot Make Love God's Way "Safe List"

MTV.com reports: Christian acts Underoath and Switchfoot make the "safe" list issued by Love God's Way, an organization described on its Web site as a "faith-based ministry with the goal of spreading God's love through teaching and healing." They have also posted a sprawling list of artists they believe parents should beware of — those they describe as "gay or propagating a gay message" — which includes Jay-Z, Eminem, Metallica, DMX, the Killers, Lil' Kim, Eagles of Death Metal, Rolling Stones and Nickelback.

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Gears of War Video Remixed To Metallica's "One"

Microsoft has recently released a very artistic feeling promotional video (aka commerical) for Epic Games' Xbox 360 title, Gears of War. This has in turn triggered a rash of remixes - some better than others. In particular, I'd like to share the remix to Metallica's "One" (with additional video footage inserted). I'd say it's more fun to watch than half of the metal videos out today.

On a personal note, I don't mind pimping Gears of War a little because I used to work for Epic Games (it seems like a lifetime ago) and I know Cliffyb knows how to make a killer game. (Like you needed any reassurance after seeing the video...)

Gears Of War Remix Trailer: Metallica "One": More...

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Hot Topic Lets You Create Your Own E-card

Hot Topic has put together an interactive e-card creator. With it you can create a Halloween E-card for a friend while listening to some of the hottest releases from Red Distribution bands at HotTopic.com! Featuring:

Amon Amarth
Boys Like Girls
Bullet For My Valentine
In Flames
My Chemical Romance
Suffocate Faster
The Sleeping
War of Ages

You can create your own e-card here.

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Young Band Covering Sepultura, Iron Maiden

A hot new band is tearing up the scene with some awesome covers of classic metal acts. You can check them out on YouTube or below. More...

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Tenacious D Announce New Tour, Album And Movie

Tenacious D, the one-album wonder band that helped frontman Jack Black to a busy life on the Cinema screen have announced the unexpected; A Tenacious D movie. Entitled "Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny", the movie is about two friends (Jack Black and Kyle Gass) who quest to find a mighty guitar pick which will aid them in their ultimate search of fame and glory in the rock and roll industry. Fellow rockers Meatloaf and Dave Grohl will also appear in the film. The movie will hit the big screen on the 11th of January 2007.

Of course, you can't have a movie without a soundtrack, and Tenacious D will be releasing just that, through SonyBMG, on November 11th. Likewise called "The Pick of Destiny", the soundtrack, to be produced by John King (The Dust Brothers), will follow the characteristically unique stylings of the duo's debut album. Star guests on the soundtrack include Meatloaf, Dave Grohl and Ronnie James Dio.

In support of the new album, Tenacious D will be heading out to tour New Zealand and Australia this coming January. The tickets are available as of the 11th of October. The tour dates follow:

New Zealand:

Tuesday 09 January - Christchurch Town Hall
Ticketek (09 308 5000 or ticketek.co.nz), Real Groovy Records, 438 Queen St, Auckland 0800 GROOVY

Thursday 11 January - Auckland Logan Campbell Centre
Ticketek (09 308 5000 or ticketek.co.nz), Real Groovy Records, 179 Tuam St, Christchurch 03 366 7410


Saturday 13 January - Brisbane Entertainment Centre (reduced mode)
Ticketek (132 849 or ticketek.com.au)

Tuesday 16 January - Sydney Hordern Pavilion
Ticketek (132 849 or ticketek.com.au)

Friday 19 January - Melbourne Festival Hall
Ticketmaster (136 100 or ticketmaster.com.au)

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IT Workers Twice as Likely to Wear Metal T-shirts

According to new research, IT (information techology) staff are twice as likely to wear a heavy metal t-shirt as their non-IT counterparts. The study of 1000 office workers, by Intermedia.NET, also found IT types 34% more likely to sport a ponytail and that black jeans are 63% more popular among IT types than other workers. IT workers are also 32% less likely to wear clean clothes every day of the week than business managers (ed. - I didn't get my bad-ass Demiricous t-shirt dirty coding all day today, so why not?)

The bizarre press release goes on to cite additonal trends discovered about IT workers in what is clearly a grab for press by the researching company.

Read the full article at PRWeb.

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Fozzy Frontman To Sing On Celebrity Duos

FOZZY frontman and former WWE star Chris Jericho will be taking part in "Celebrity Duets" — an unscripted series that pairs singing stars with celebrities outside the music industry to make "beautiful music" together. The show will follow the professional singers as they instruct their partners, choose songs and perform duets in front of a panel of judges and a live studio audience. After each episode, viewers will vote for their favorite duets. The winning pair will emerge from the competition in perfect harmony, while the losers definitely will have to change their tune. The competition, which will be judged by producer David Foster, kicks off August 29. The celebrity contestants are as follows:

Chris Jericho - Wrestler (WWE)
Lucy Lawless - Actress ("Xena")
Cheech Marin - Actor ("Born In East LA")
Carly Patterson - 2004 Olympic Gymnast
Alfonso Ribiero - Actor/Director ("The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air")
Jai Rodriguez - Pop Culture Guru ("Queer Eye")
Hal Sparks - Actor/Comedian ("Queer As Folk")
Lea Thompson - Actress ("Back To The Future")

The contestants remaining in the competition will be paired with a different music superstar each week. Those singers include Clint Black, Michael Bolton, Belinda Carlisle, Taylor Dayne, Peter Frampton, Macy Gray, James Ingram, Wynonna Judd, Chaka Khan, Patti LaBelle, Kenny Loggins, Richard Marx, Brian McKnight, Aaron Neville, Smokey Robinson, Randy Travis, Dionne Warwick and Lee Ann Womack, among others.

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Cartoon Network Goes Death Metal

Larissa Glasser of The Phoenix recently conducted an interview with Brendon Small and Tommy Blacha, creators of the upcoming cartoon series "Dethklok Metalocalypse" about a half-Norwegian/half-American black metal band called DEATHKLOK.

Premiering this Sunday (August 6) at 11:45 p.m. on Adult Swim (the adult-oriented television programming block on Cartoon Network) and featuring voice cameos by METALLICA's James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett — along with members of ARCH ENEMY and NEVERMORE — "Metalocalypse" follows the mayhem surrounding the world's biggest band, and 12th-largest economy, DETHKLOK. They live in a gigantic upside-down dragon boat perched atop the fjords of Norway. They cause disaster, destruction, and bloodshed wherever they go. In an age where metal is king, DETHKLOK's business savvy trumps the world's most shrewd visionaries. But they're excessively dumb when it comes to the most rudimentary tasks. For example, they don't know how to make food for themselves — not even a sandwich. During one scene, guitarist Skwisgarr Skwigelf tries to make coffee with a toaster. Although they've outsold THE BEATLES, DETHKLOK are, Brendon Small promises, "Just a thousand times more dangerous and a billion times more stupid."

"Ted Nugent once said that there's something inherently stupid about rock and roll," Blacha explained to The Phoenix. "I agree, but we aren't derisive of metal. For example, when we had Michael Amott [guitarist, ARCH ENEMY] come in to do voices for the show, it was really pleasing to have him tell us in his Swedish accent, 'I don't like it when people make fun of metal, but you guys know what you're doing.' He gave us this one head nod, and we were like, 'YES! That's exactly what we wanted.' "

Read more at ThePhoenix.com.

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Make Your Own Concert Ticket Stubs Online

There's a cool little website that allows you to create your own digital concert ticket stubs. It looks cooler than it sounds, so check it out here and make your own stubs to print or post online. The "tickebastard" watermark in the background is classic too. More...

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