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Dream Theater To Use Drum Machine For New Record: "We don't need no stinkin' drummer!"

Dream Theater has been cagey about naming a replacement for departed drummer Mike Portnoy, but has finally decided to come out with a statement on the matter today.

Guitarist John Petrucci commented: "We have decided to move forward with the recording of the new album with a drum machine. The fact is that we started down this road after Mike left and we just couldn't find a drummer who gelled with us personally. I stand by everything I have said. [the album] is going incredibly well and I can't wait for everyone to hear it!" He then added "I assure you, you won't even notice a difference. We don't need no stinkin' drummer!"

Whether or not the band will bring a replacement drummer along on tour remains to be seen, but for the upcoming album, they are happy with the results they've achieved by programming the drums themselves.

As previously reported, Mike Portnoy has since joined Dimmu Borgir.

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25 Comments on "Dream Theater To Use Drum Machine For New Record"

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Rychemn's avatar

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1. Rychemn writes:

If this is true....it is just plain f##kin' stupid!!!

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 11:30 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

Member

2. brandedcfh420 writes:

This one is the most believable so far!!!

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 11:39 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
3. RAMARIOT writes:

YEAH !!!!!!

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 11:47 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
OlafBerzerker's avatar

Member

4. OlafBerzerker writes:

mortician

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 11:57 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. Yeap writes:

Next, keyboards...and bass, and guitar and eventually the singer..and DT will turn into a multi-(not million) dollar corporate virtual band.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 12:16 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
6. DeeRock writes:

Pssst....look at the date. ;)

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 12:30 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
btbamfav20's avatar

Member

7. btbamfav20 writes:

Ouch, a good ol' f*** u to Mike lmao

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 12:32 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
8. DTFan writes:

APRIL FOOLS obviously! You guys got owned!

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 1:13 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
RememberMetal?'s avatar

Writer/Reviewer

9. RememberMetal? writes:

Mike Portnoy is overrated anyway.

On an unrelated note, I heard Tool's next album will be 38 song grindcore-style album.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 2:20 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
10. R Tenney writes:

Nah #9 I hear they're experimenting with dub step. Going in that direction I hear.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 2:44 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
11. Ledrisk writes:

They're not using a drum machine. They invited a "Samba bateria" from Rio de Janeiro to make a prog samba metal album.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 3:19 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
OlafBerzerker's avatar

Member

12. OlafBerzerker writes:

remember metal, i heard thru tmz Tool fired maynahhhd and just inked Grivo. And ontop of that gave him a million dollars just to make him feel like part of the band

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 3:52 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. zee joker writes:

well seeing as their last drum machine left for a7x.. im not surprised.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 7:19 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
n0thinghead's avatar

Podcaster/Writer

14. n0thinghead writes:

this was believably funny, but RM?'s post about tool was sofa king hilarious.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 10:57 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Planeswalker's avatar

Member

15. Planeswalker writes:

#12 Im pretty sure Tool is Maynard's Band dude.

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 10:59 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Planeswalker's avatar

Member

16. Planeswalker writes:

After posting my last comment i realized that you were joking, hopefully. Sorry for my stupidity. lol

# Apr 1, 2011 @ 11:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
OlafBerzerker's avatar

Member

17. OlafBerzerker writes:

planes, banter just banter \m/ \m/

# Apr 2, 2011 @ 12:53 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
18. Rod King writes:

My Inside sources are saying this is a confirmed FACT.

# Apr 3, 2011 @ 3:06 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
TheIronMan's avatar

Member

19. TheIronMan writes:

My source is inside your vagina.

# Apr 3, 2011 @ 3:34 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
20. sloppy ho writes:

this was posted on april fools day, this is a joke

# Apr 3, 2011 @ 11:00 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
PANDA's avatar

Member

21. PANDA writes:

"My source is inside your vagina." XDDDDD That made my heart happy <;3 lol

# Apr 4, 2011 @ 11:06 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
22. flapdrol writes:

Didn't you guys knew that James Labrie was replaced by a cyborg last year?
Didn't any one asked himself why he sounded so awsome again in the 2010 year?

It's an obvious step in their career to take a drum machine for this one.

# Apr 4, 2011 @ 4:10 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

23. hellrat writes:

ha! fvckin Ironman! :)

# Apr 4, 2011 @ 6:07 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
24. John Moores writes:

Is what I'm saying all along...drumkit from Hell and pseudo-Thomas Haake

# Apr 6, 2011 @ 5:27 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
25. damn writes:

And our new drummer is.....TASCAM!!!

# Apr 8, 2011 @ 1:05 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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