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Archive: Just For Funs

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Hitler Reacts To New Opeth Album

It seems as if Hitler has once again felt extreme heartbreak and anger over a new metal album set for release in 2011. Following his excessive rage towards Morbid Angel's "Illud Divinum Inanus" earlier this summer a new spoof, of the 2004 German film "Der Untergang/Downfall," has been made of Hitler reacting to the forthcoming new album from Swedish progressive death metallers Opeth, titled "Heritage." You can check out the reaction in the player below.

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Black Metal Inspired by Kittens

YouTube videos featuring cats and kittens receive a ton of hits--sometimes in the millions. One such video, "Kittens Inspired by Kittens" is a cute video depicting a little girl commenting on pictures in the book "Kittens" by David Gibbon. This video has brought in the "awes" and "that's so cute" by the millions--12,714, 712 to be exact (at time of posting).

Parody usually follows any video that receives so much attention. "Black Metal Inspired by Kittens Inspired by Kittens" is a ridiculously named parody of "Kittens," which features the actual audio from "Kittens" applied to black metal album art and band photography.

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Record Store Employees Try To Decipher Metal Logos

Waterloo Records has posted a video clip online titled "Record Store Olympics Event 3: The Decipher," in which record store employees try to decipher increasingly incomprehensible metal band names based on their logos. Check out the clip below, and see if you can name all the bands based on their logos.

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Vegan Black Metal Chef Episode 2 Released

Vegan Black Metal Chef Episode 2 has been posted online, and is available for viewing below. The episodes are planned to go back and fourth between a more complex recipe like the pad thai and a series of easy recipes like this one.

In this episode you will make an "All Star Redneck Medley." This is mashed potatoes, baked beans, and corn.

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Hitler Reacts To New Morbid Angel Album

Continuing the meme that just won't die, an excellent spoof of 2004 German film "Der Untergang" (also known as "Downfall") has been made of Hitler reacting to the controversial new Morbid Angel album, "Illud Divinum Insanus." Watch it below.

In addition to other musicians weighing in on the album, Metalunderground.com recently reviewed "Illud Divinum Insanus" and featured Morbid Angel in our Sunday Old School column prior to the album's release.

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Tower Of Gopal Releases "Pyramid Of Tears"

Tower Of Gopal has posted its new music video online for the track "Pyramid Of Tears" which sees the band evolving into a more black metal oriented sound. Tower Of Gopal is a comedic response by Magic Bullet Records mocking the recent signing of Design the Skyline by Victory Records, which has since went viral and met a large negative response from heavy music fans.

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Star Wars Characters Dance to GNR, Metallica

A video of Chewbacca and other assorted Star Wars aliens and characters dancing to Guns N Roses' "Welcome To The Jungle" at Disney's Star Wars Weekends 2011 has made its way online. I'm not sure who it's disgracing more, the Star Wars franchise or Guns N Roses. Watch it below and decide for yourself.

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. Darth Vader and stormtroopers dance to Metallica in another skit:

If you have more than 20 minutes on your hands, you can watch the entire performance below. Fair warning: the metal ends around the halfway mark. More...

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Tower Of Gopal Releases Debut Music Video

Magic Bullet Records has posted the following press release online announcing its latest roster acquisition in Tower Of Gopal.

"After a major bidding war with THE NUMBER ONE INDEPENDENT LABEL IN THE WORLD, Altoona, PA’s TOWER OF GOPAL decided in a shocking last minute move to sign with Magic Bullet Records. Literally nobody, save for band members Dani Dangeresque and Stefan Sikkness, saw this one coming and the industry is surely shaken to its core accordingly. You can follow the insanity/phenomenon by adding THIS PROFILE as soon as humanly possible. For now, Magic Bullet is happy to declare VICTORY in signing TOWER OF GOPAL."

The band's debut music video can be found below.

The signing of Tower Of Gopal and its debut music video is a comedic response to the signing of Design the Skyline by Victory Records, which has since went viral and met a largely negative response from heavy music fans.

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Vegan Black Metal Chef Posts First Episode

The vegan black metal chef has posted his first episode online, detailing how to make Pad Thai the black metal way. You can check out the clip below.

A message from the vegan black metal chef himself about the episode reads as follows:

"This is a complete walkthrough on how to make the best Vegan Pad Thai Ever! I tried to only use ingredients that are easily available. Tamarind paste or soup base is the only odd one in there. It can easily be purchaced at an asian grocery store...but Wal Mart might even have tamarind something. Even Tamarind Nectar will probably work. Just use less or no extra water. You can also substitute some coconut milk for some of the water.

"There will be no 'recipe' given, watch the video to see the amounts, learn the concepts, and give it a try. To me Recipes intimidate people and take away your aspect of creation. They are ok in some respects, I just don't know many people that make things from recipes.

"Btw, all of the armor is rubber, not leather. All music and video is made by the Vegan Black Metal Chef (Brian Manowitz). Enjoy and Make this!"

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Glenn Danzig Good Occultist not Bad Neighbor

Brendan of Filmdrunk.com and Justin Halpern, creator of the popular @ShitMyDadSays Twitter account, had an IM chat that has sparked a flood of news concerning Glenn Danzig.

Justin lives in the same neighborhood as Danzig, and claims Danzig is a bad neighbor. He says Danzig lives in a run-down home and left a pile of bricks in his front yard. He begrudgingly removed the bricks after a neighbor complained about the bricks lowering his property value.

Funny or Die.com posted a news story containing the Tweets at this location. The story also reveals visual evidence of Danzig’s now-infamous stack-o-bricks. We at Metal Underground wanted to hear Danzig’s side of the story, so we went to his house to get the scoop.

Metal Underground: Have you seen the articles around the net about you being a bad neighbor?

Glenn Danzig: Yeah, I’ve seen them and it’s a bunch of crap. I am not poor! Look over there in the driveway and you’ll see my Jaguar. I have other Jags in other locations because I’m rich. I’m rich because I sold my soul to Satan around the time I put out the Samhain album “Samhain III: November Coming Fire.”

Since selling my soul to the Angel of Light, I have to constantly give blood offerings to my dark lord or he’ll take away my worldly powers. He will transform me into a wretched, AVERAGE person. I’ll have a normal, 50s-something body, no Jeet Kune Do round house kicks and most of all, no more (Danzig sings the end segment of “How The Gods Kill”) “HEEEEEYYYYY.” Oh, and then he’ll extract my soul through my broken, twisted body.

Metal Underground: So we can surmise that Satan is good, Satan is your pal?

Glenn Danzig: Satan and I go way back. Really, this is my human form. (Whispers) I’m going to let you in on a secret…I’m really a fallen angel. I am the rebel angel Samayel.

Metal Underground: Didn’t you play Samayel in the movie "Prophecy II?"

Glenn Danzig: They casted me for that part because they know who I truly am. The archangel Daniel really tore my heart out, that’s real history. Why do you think I’m here in human form?

Metal Underground: Why are you here in human form?

Glenn Danzig: Because Daniel hurled me headlong into bottomless perdition. I dwelled there for a while, 1,000,000 years to be exact, and then came to Earth. (Glenn violently jerks his arm back as if he were whipping back a mic chord). Sorry about that. These days I have no control over my stage moves. I get the strangest looks when I involuntarily gyrate my hips while waiting in line at the grocery store.

Metal Underground: Tell us more about your evil home?

Glenn Danzig: See the vines growing around the front of my house. They keep out the sunlight. Demons hate sunlight. I have to keep a constant stream of negative energy flowing. That’s another reason I always wear black, even when I’m washing my car. To a laymen of the occult, that window might look like it’s crooked because of disrepair. That window was built with geometry in mind, the type of geometry specific to astral projection. Most of all, the ceiling drips blood. That was the feature that sold me on this house, but that son of a bitch that sold it to me also promised a robot. I never got that robot. I’m after you and that meat head friend of yours. I’m coming after the two of you’s and I’m gonna get my fuckin’ robot!

Metal Undgerground: What about the bricks your neighbor Todd complained about?

Well, being the master necromancer that I, Glenn Danzig, am, I have the power to conjure the gods of the underworld. I was building a magical sarcophagus to summon the Egyptian god of snakes, Mehen. If it weren’t for that meddling neighbor, that FUCKHEAD TODD, I would be stalking the night with the Serpent King! I planned to put those bricks in the back yard, but that lazy fuck that brought me the bricks, set them in the front yard. I was going to put the coffin in front of my pit of deadly vipers, asps and cobras.

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New Metallica Song Leaked Online

A new song from American heavy metal legends Metallica has been leaked online via YouTube. The song, entitled, "Not Stanley" is expected to be a part of the band’s “secret project” which they have discussed in recent articles. You can check out a short snippet of the track by clicking here. The song's meaning is unclear, but it seems to be a criticism of how some people grow up and still treat their elderly parents with the utmost disrespect, told through the eyes of a man who still hasn't found what he's looking for. An official statement from the band regarding the bizzare clip is expected to be released shortly.

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Dimmu Borgir To Pen New Broadway Musical

Today is a big day for symphonic black metal band Dimmu Borgir. Not only is Mike Portnoy signed to be their new drummer, but Dimmu Borgir has also entered into a contract with Theatre Direct International to write a new Broadway musical for the upcoming 2011 Fall Season. The joint press release is as follows:

“Theatre Direct International and Dimmu Borgir are pleased to announce a partnership for the 2011 Fall Season to produce the new musical "Abracadabra!" It will replace “Rain: A Tribute to the Beatles” at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre, and will showcase how far music has come in the 40-plus years since “Let It Be.” Shagrath’s innovation, grandeur and eye for dramatic flair should make this the most successful Broadway Musical of the season!” More...

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Stryper Endorsing Newt Gingrich For President

After the news of Rage Against the Machine supporting Sarah Palin for President, more groups are starting to voice support for their candidates of choice.

Christian glam metal band Stryper has decided to throw its hat into the political ring early this year, as band front man Michael Sweet has announced he is officially endorsing Newt Gingrich for President in 2012. Sweet stated he wanted to publicly support Gingrich after hearing the former House speaker’s recent comments at Reverend Jon Hagee’s Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, Texas.

"I have two grandchildren — Maggie is 11, Robert is 9," Gingrich said at Cornerstone Church. "I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American."

Explaining why he chose to endorse Gingrich over any other conservative candidate, Michael Sweet commented, "Our new album of secular covers called ‘The Covering’ really convicted us all and showed us that a house divided can’t stand, and that a servant cannot serve two masters. We’re done with any secular and we want to help get America on the right track again.

"We know that Newt will do everything he can to prevent B.O. from letting an atheist, secular, Islamic-run society from taking over America. We wanted to make sure to support a morally upstanding candidate who has never cheated on his wife or been divorced multiple times, so Newt is the man for us!"

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RATM Voices Support For Sarah Palin

Politically motivated rockers Rage Against The Machine has announced that they are backing former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin for the presidency in 2012, even though she has yet to confirm whether or not she will run for office. The band, who have previously caused controversy by voicing their support for the Zapitista Army of National Liberation and forcing the doors of the New York Stock Exchange to close, has also revealed that they will indeed be working on a new studio album, their first since 1999’s, "The Battle Of Los Angeles," and that it will be influenced by their new found support of Sarah Palin. Entitled, "Alaska Myself," the band will be fusing their familiar guitar style and socially charged lyrics to protest the current administration and enforce their new found political leanings. The tracklisting is as follows:

1. The President Is Bad
2. Tax And Spend (Anthem Of the Liberals)
3. Juneau
4. I’d Rather Be An Elephant Than A Jackass
5. Going Rogue
6. Hunting Wolves
7. Don’t Believe The Hope
8. An American Life
9. Lamestream Media
10. Red Star For A Red State
11. Tea Party, Not House Party
12. Mr. Obama, Tear Down This Wall
13. Hey Clinton, Get Back To Work
14. Love It Or Leave It
Bonus track: Born In The U.S.A. (Bruce Springsteen cover)

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Dani Filth Reportedly Dating Justin Bieber

A story has been circulating around the Web that apparently Cradle of Filth vocalist Dani Filth and tween sensation Justin Bieber have become an item. The budding romance was discovered when a photographer caught a snapshot of the two holding hands and walking down a California beach (the picture has since been removed at the request of Bieber’s parents). The story was confirmed today in a post on Cradle of Filth’s website.

“It’s true, we’ve been seeing each other for some time now. I mean I’ve been singing about all these ridiculously perverted sex acts for years, what did you guys really expect from me?”

Later in the post, Dani revealed that he’s actually been writing Beiber’s music for him.

“I’ve been helping Justin write his lyrics for some time now in order to be involved in the music I really love these days. The song ‘Baby’ in particular was inspired by me when we were going through a rough patch. I know those metal news site trolls will have a field day with this, but fuck ‘em. Apparently they all missed the video for ‘The Foetus of a New Day Kicking’ and the entire ‘Thornography’ album. For years now I’ve wanted to do mindless catchy music for the masses with scantily clad girls dancing in the background.”

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Converge to Design Line for 2012 Fashion Week

Metallic hardcore outfit Converge has been tapped to design a full clothing line for the 2012 Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in New York City. A spokesman for IMG Fashion, who produces the entire event, said the following via press release:

“Fashion is changing. From formal jeans with pumps a few years ago to leggings and sweater dresses now, the whole fashion industry is descending into a hot mess as designers try to one-up each other. Our lead designers and consultants here at IMG Fashion love Converge’s style and wanted to start the trend to “Sophisticated Hardcore.” From the whirling artistry on the graphic tees, the cleverly matched shoe-pant-top-accessory combinations, and even Jacob Bannon’s unbelievably luscious neck tattoo, we at IMG Fashion believe Converge has a sense of clothing design that nobody else has in our modernist world, and can lead “Sophisticated Hardcore” into boardrooms and beach houses in 2012.”

Converge will work with noted designer Alexander McQueen in what IMG Fashion calls a “real meets fantasy pairing” to design and produce their dozen looks for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week 2012. When Jacob Bannon was reached via cell phone at McCorley’s Old Ale House in Brooklyn, he said simply, “I told you, neck tattoos are the shit.”

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Hatebeak Finds New Vocalist

Nearly six years since Waldo's untimely demise, Hatebeak has found a new avian vocalist named Lolita. Lolita was first discovered by the band members on YouTube, singing Drowning Pool's "Bodies."

"The minute I saw that video, I knew Lolita was our next vocalist" comments BLK. "After lengthy negotiations and assurances, we signed her (and her owner) on to the band and will be announcing a full North American tour soon," he continued. "I'm so excited to get back on the road. I think of Waldo every day and miss him dearly, but the band must go on."

Before discovering Lolita, Hatebeak auditioned a few other singers, one of them being the infamous death metal rooster.

"That rooster was bad news, dude," stated BLK. "We brought him in for an audition and he trashed the place. He's not a team player at all - he's a total cock! Don't work with that rooster!"

Here's Lolita's "audition" video:


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Fender To Produce Metalocalypse-Inspired Guitar

Roadrunner Records Artists are set to endorse the release of the Fender special edition Ant-Farm Guitar.

A spokesperson from Roadrunner explained how the idea originated from the series Metalocalypse, but that Fender had approached them about seeing if it could work for real. “Obviously we pushed for tarantulas, we also considered black widow spiders and there is a scorpion drum kit in the works. We also worked with certain species of crab but we there were some cannibalism issues we had to deal with before we could release the instrument.”

The use of insects to inspire metal has a long history. A recent scientific experiment, “Beetle Mania” showed how playing thrash metal to insects, subjecting them to “acoustic stress” can work as a form population control.

Motley Crue members reminisced about how in lieu of anything more stimulating available while touring, Ozzy Osbourne snorted live ants.

Different Roadrunner artists wanted to incorporate different species of animal into the new, limited release special edition. Cavalera Conspiracy and Cradle of Filth felt that bull ants were the most metal of all the ant species. Down preferred more slow moving, sedentary animals that would respond better to the sludge-laden lethargy of their stoner rock sound. Slipknot worked with Fender to create a guitar with different, competing species in the same guitar, creating the added incentive of watching the ants fight to the death.

Unfortunately the World Wildlife Fund has raised some objections.

Roadrunner and Fender also wanted to take this opportunity to promote more underground, insect related groups, like deathcore group Insect Inside and grindcore act Insect Warfare, equiping them with their very own Ant Farm guitars, of course.

Ideas for instruments that were ultimately vetoed was the drum kit with a live scorpion in the base drum (Gene Hoglan objected that “No scorpion could withstand the sonic disembowelment of my double kicks”) The Black widow spider guitar endorsed by Cannibal Corpse for its tendency to consume its partner after intercourse was ultimately considered unfeasible.

Look out for some insect carnage coming to metal stages this year.

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Six Feet Under Reveal Graveyard Classics 4 Details

American death metal veterans Six Feet Under are planning on releasing yet another album in the Graveyard Classics series. This time around the band will cover a number of contemporary Top 40 pop songs. Says vocalist Chris Barnes,

"I've always wanted to make Six Feet Under the death metal band that crosses over into the mainstream and hopefully fans of these songs will be turned onto our music and see a whole new world opened to them. I'll be the first person to admit that Ke$ha is an amazing artist who the world needs to see more of and I think she's hot to boot."

The tracklist for Graveyard Classics 4 is as follows:

1. Tik-Tok (Ke$ha)
2. Ding Dong Song (Gunther)
3. Poker Face (Lady Gaga)
4. Only Girl in the World (Rhianna)
5. I'm on a Boat (The Lonely Island)
6. Baby (Justin Beiber)
7. Friday (Rebecca Black)
8. Star Trek Girl (Meekakitty)
9. Road Roller (Ren and Lin)
10. Hot & Cold (Katy Perry)

Graveyard Classics 4 will be arriving on Metal Blade on July 15th in Northa America and July 20th worldwide.

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Plan B To Release Metal Album

British singer, rapper, actor and director Ben Drew, best known to the public as Plan B, has announced that he is planning to record a heavy metal album by the end of the year. Drew is well known for his varied approach to writing music, with rap and soul albums under his belt already, along with his collaborations with drum and bass stars Chase & Status plus reggae and dupstep records to follow, Drew has already proved that his artistic palette isn’t limited to one colour, but is he suited for metal music?

"I think heavy metal really does have it’s place in my music, why shouldn’t it?" Drew asked. "It’s raw, emotional, it’s got meaning, so naturally it’s something I feel I can do. Metal musicians are really dedicated to their art, which you have to respect even if you don’t like the music."

The question remains though, will metal fans accept Drew in their world? More...

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