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EYEHATEGOD Releases New Song “New Orleans Is The New Portland."

New Orleans sludge masters EYEHATEGOD have released a song from their upcoming album for online streaming before the highly-anticipated album is officially released. The song is akin to the title of another song that likened the city of New Orleans to a hellish warzone called “New Orleans is the New Vietnam,” except that the band is now espousing their beliefs that their hometown is becoming too modern. “New Orleans is the New Portland” was released for streaming two days ago and has been listened to over 100,000 times. Reviews of the song are mixed, but most of the people commenting do not care for the song. They often begin their statements with this sentiment: “I’ve never been to New Orleans or Portland, but I have a pretty good idea of what it’s like from music and TV….”

The song was released just after the end of Entrepreneur Week sponsored by The Idea Village when business owners and investors from the world over descended on the city, which was named by a Forbes Magazine writer as “Best City for Young Entrepreneurs” and “America’s Coolest Startup City”, to help further promote young business enthusiasts in their ventures. Vocalist Mike IX Williams explains the song, “I wrote it because it’s all too different. I remember being arrested shirtless in the street, living in a shithole on Bourbon Street, and fleeing during Katrina when chaos was rampant. Now there’s a Pinkberry on every corner. I don’t even know what the hell that is!”

Mike IX Williams’s lyrics make connections between the advanced and technological Oregon city and the burgeoning underdog city. He mentions the natural gas fuel station at Louis Armstrong International Airport, recent street and sidewalk renovations made in the French Quarter, the large amount of vegetarian and vegan pop-up restaurants and food trucks, and the ever-present movie crews that are flocking to “Hollywood South.” Mike IX is not the only band member to express distaste at the new New Orleans. Bassist Gary Mader, who holds a day job at a popular Mexican restaurant that employs many metal musicians, says, “I’m a pretty easy going guy, but when I realized that Mac laptops were covering every table in the place and we haven’t sold one margarita pitcher in a month, it kind of scared me.”

“New Orleans is the New Portland” was supposed to be performed live in February at Siberia in their city, but the band was forced to cancel the show because all of the roads leading to the club were either closed or at a standstill because of Superbowl traffic in the downtown area. It was only the Friday before the big game, but with the huge inflow of game-goers, fans wanting to be near the excitement, national and international television crews, celebrities, and more, five square miles around the Mercedes Benz Superdome were inaccessible. Even the annual holiday of Mardi Gras that lasts up to three weeks was paused for a week to allow the game.

The band intends to keep things in their city as filthy as possible through their sludge metal, but even they may be unable to stop the opening of more salad-only restaurants, expensive high-end small plate dishes at bars, and Pilates studios. The band’s feelings about the situation could be best summed up by the Spinal Tap song “Hell Hole” where they wish for a more luxurious life, then only want to get back to the dirty, violent life they had before.

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1 Comment on "EYEHATEGOD Releases “NOLA Is The New Portland'"

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1. Jorge C writes:

ha ha! This is great

# Apr 1, 2013 @ 2:28 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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