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Archive: Just For Funs

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EyeHateManmadeHornedLamb OfGodForbidHeadSize...

Supergroups are all the rage in metal and this year has one major one we’re looking forward to (assuming Velvet Revolver’s Scott Weiland can’t stay out of jail/rehab). Christian metal band EyeHateLambOfGodForbidHeadSizeSmackFleshDethronedAmongInsectMen are comprised of members past and present from so many bands we won’t even bother trying to name them. Besides, you won’t recognize them anyway because the only other thing cooler than supergroups these days is wearing masks on stage. The band’s debut album, ‘God Complex’ is due out April 15 through Pantheon Records. Some song titles are said to include: “Goddammit”, “God, I Want To Rip Your Throat Out”, “You Really God Me Now”, and “Oh God, You Devil”.

The staff at metalunderground.com are really looking forward to this release and hoping the supergroup will gel with a little more success than last year’s hopefuls GreatWhiteSnakeLionZombie who never saw the release of their album “Wait, Here I Go Again Babe I’m Gonna Leave You (The Agony).”

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Phil Anselmo Found Dead In Bus While On Tour

I for one am shocked and saddened by this next post, as I am an extremely huge fan of Pantera and Down. It is truly a sad day for all of Phil's fans. R.I.P. Phil, you will be missed dearly!

Today will be remembered forever for all Pantera, Superjoint Ritual and Down fans. Lead singer Phillip Anselmo was found dead today. The discovery was made on-board the Superjoint Ritual bus in route to Atlanta‘s show from Tampa Florida. Apparently by Rex and Hank Williams III. They stated that they found him with a syringe sticking out of his right arm. Also, the toxicology report from the coroner said "no narcotics other then marijuana were found in his system at the time of autopsy." They also stated later in the report they found extremely high amounts of glucose in his blood stream. That only leads one to believe Phil must‘ve mistaken brown sugar for heroin he attempted to purchase in his hometown. Official cause of death was heart failure, apparently the sugar must've gotten into his heart and clogged the main arteries and therefore the heart failed to work.

We expect a date and time and place for the viewing to be released soon, and as soon as it is it will be made available to everyone right here.

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Ozzy Breaks Hip, Ozzfest Cancelled

Ozzy reportedly slipped on a pile of dog doo in his home and broke his hip. Ozzy’s immediate comments were “I’m gonna fucking kill that dog. I’m going to fucking kill ALL of them and eat them! Then I won’t have to worry about falling in piles of dog shit in my own house, much less replacing carpets and furniture.”

The tragic event was caught on video and is expected to air on The Osbournes’ second season soon. Viewership of the show is expected to skyrocket around the episode in which the footage is aired, but then drop sharply afterward.

Ozzy later addressed the impact of his injury on this year’s Ozzfest.

“Some of the fans encouraged me to sing anyway, but I just can’t fucking do that. If I can’t get around and fire the crowd up, I just can’t do it. Do you know what I say tho those kids? Go to fucking Lollapalooza this year! It’s almost the same shit, but I won’t be there.”

Based on above statements, we do not forsee another Ozzfest in the future…Ever.

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James Hetfield Plans Duet With Britney Spears

Metallica singer James Hetfield is rumored to have made a deal to record with Britney Spears. It is thought that the band members finally sent him to rehab after this event.

“Shit, I think I met her at some fancy record execs’ party a couple years ago. I got shit-faced and ran into her and she was talking some shit about collaborating on a song. Hell, I don’t remember much else. I’d have gotten out of it, but some other record label exec was there and corroborated her story and tried to hold me to my word. I thought about suing him, but then thought ‘fuck it, why the hell not?’. We’ve done everything else [we were against], so why the fuck not? We’ve done soundtracks, remixes, collaborated with an orchestra and rap artist Ja Rule. What the hell can working with Britney do to our watered-down name?”

After the interview James was quoted as saying “That’ll teach me to fucking drink again. But what do you think about a Metallica Opera?”

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Supergroup Disbands Before Playing Together

The supergroup GreatWhiteSnakeLionZombie, largely composed of individuals from disbanded 80’s hair metal bands, has decided to break up before ever playing a gig or recording together. Apparently, a debate sparked from within the group after small clubs were prohibited from allowing pyrotechnics around the country.

David Coverdale, formerly of Whitesnake, commented on situation that resulted in the breakup.

“There had been some personality issues along the way, but the pyrotechnics thing was the final straw. No pyro? The clubs we play are too small for a good light show, so what’s left? Pyro was the last bit of entertainment we had. Now what are we gonna do up there?”

(ed. well, there's always the Axl Shuffle.)

John Ricci, one-time guitarist for White Zombie and second guitar for GreatWhiteSnakeLionZombie had this to say:

“I thought it was a long shot with these guys, but I didn’t have a lot going on. I guess it’s for the best. I kinda felt like the odd-dude out. I mean, these guys all had egos like they were still in the heyday of glam-metal back in the 80’s. But when it all comes crashing down over some cheesy fireworks…I thought this was about the music or something. But it was always about the glam and re-living the 80’s. Where’s the glam in doing gigs in shitty little dirt holes day after day across the country? At least I don’t have to wear any makeup or worry about my hair now.”

The band’s first single was to be “Wait, Here I Go Again Babe I’m Gonna Leave You (The Agony).” A remix of their first album was also planned. There was talk of Rob Zombie producing the remix album, but all members were strongly against him producing any of their videos. One band member wishing to remain anonymous said “We don’t want to look like a bunch of nasty fucking horror monsters! Do you have any idea how long I spend on my hair every morning?”

In related news, Great White has reportedly resumed touring again.

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