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Archive: Just For Funs

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Judas Priest To Release Epic New Compilation Album

Legendary U.K. metal band Judas Priest announced that the band will release yet another compilation album later this year. The compilation is entitled "Nostradamus Predicted This: The Best Of Judas Priest" and is scheduled for release on December 22, 2012. The release contains many other rarities that hadn't made it on any of the band's previous compilation albums or studio album reissues.

Vocalist Rob Halford commented on the release: "When we threw out the idea of another compilation, I was initially against it. I said to Glen [Tipton], we have done this many times in the past. However, I don't think anyone but Nostradamus could have predicted what we were able to present with this one. After 27 compilation albums, we finally got it right."

The following is the track list of the timeless treasures to be included on the release. The stunning renditions of the following Priest classics were remastered from the original remastered editions:

1. Breaking the Law
2. Tyrant
3. The Ripper
4. Hot Rockin'
5. Living After Midnight
6. Freewheel Burning
7. Hell Bent for Leather
8. Turbo Lover
9. Painkiller
10. Victim of Changes

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Korn To Release Tween Wave Album

Following the recent success of their dubstep album, "The Path Of Totality," Californian nu metal pioneers Korn has announced that they will soon be releasing a tween wave album entitled, "KornHoled." Lead singer Jonathan Davis commented:

"It’s the next logical step. Korn has always been able to update their sound to stay fresh. It’s sad to hear people discourage evolution by criticizing music they couldn’t write themselves or simply write us off by ignorantly stating, 'You’re Getting Old,' but we know that our true fans will love ‘KornHoled,’ and by extension, buy it."

As of yet no release date or cover art has been released for the album, but it will reportedly feature the following song titles:

"Fleetwood Cack"
"Shits And Ladders"
"Twisted Toilet"
"Life Is Stinky"
"Falling To Faeces"
"Writers Who Use Toilet Humour To Get A Cheap Laugh And Reference Other Peoples Hard Work Are Fucking Assholes" More...

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Metallica Teaming Up With Fred Durst For New Album

Today in our Sunday Old School, we featured ground breaking metal veterans Limp Bizkit. Today, James Hetfield staged a press conference at 7:00 a.m. eastern time to announce that the band would be collaborating with Fred Durst on its next album. The following exerpt comes from the Metallica frontman:

"After the miserable sales of Lulu, we decided to stop collaborating with sextagenarians and go for the true pulse of young nu-metal. So now I unveil for you "Fredtallica." Durst has more energy and moves than anyone in metal today, especially me! I mean does it get more savage than 'Nookie?' We've been writing killer tunes together and of course slapped 'Tallica on each of them. We're looking at the working title of 'Garbage Days Revisited,' since lately with each album we keep going back to a pile of rubbish.

The album will be produced by Mutt Lange and released on the freshest label ever, Victory Records. It doesn't get more metal than Design the Skyline! That band and The Bunny The Bear have been invited to headline at our Orion Fest! We also plan to do covers of brutal metal bands like Ax7 and Modest Mouse. Who wants to hear old dinosaurs like Budgie or Holocaust? Not us. Metal up your ass!

After earning our top honors for metal album of the year with "Lulu," we would expect nothing less from these pioneers of metal. Check out the cover artwork and tracklisting for "Garbage Days Revisited" below.

Fake Stuff
Wankster Messiah
Suck & Destroy
Significant Bother
Hot Dog Flavored Metal
The CD That Should Not Be
Disposable Posers
Three Dollar Bull


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Janick Gers Admits He Never Played In Iron Maiden

In an epic exclusive interview to appear on Metal Underground, Iron Maiden reveals some of the most shocking information about the band's past, present and future. The interview involving all band members past and present is a collaborative effort from the entire Metal Underground staff and was conducted in secret over the course of six months from July 2011 to December 2011 and was spearheaded by Metal Underground owner Doug Gibson. Now, after an additional three months of editing, the interview will be released as a 42 part series beginning tomorrow at some time between the hours of 2:00am to 8:00pm, with another successive part each day as a celebration of the band's upcoming North American Tour.

In part one of the massive undertaking, guitarist Janick Gers makes the shocking admission to MU Staff writer Michael "OverkillExposure" Smith that he actually has never played a note both in the studio or live. The following is an excerpt from the interview:

Michael Smith: Now I have been watching closely to many of the bands performances over the years. How is it possible that you can swing your guitar fight off a towering Eddie monster with it and still actually play?

Janick Gers: It's funny because I get this all the time. Honestly, if you pulled my guitar cord all the way out, it actually isn't plugged in.

Michael Smith: Come again? Are you saying that you aren't actually playing? Just one show or all of them?

Janick Gers: All of them. Frankly, I never played a lick since Adrian re-joined the band, both in the studio or at gigs. The band said 'thanks Janick, but Adrian is back.' I asked them if I could stick around so long as I don't interfere with the rest of the band.

Michael Smith: So who's idea was it to agree to have a third guitarist that doesn't play?

Janick Gers: We all agreed that it would be cool to be known as a band with three guitarists. Originally, we had an idea of me playing rhythm live while Dave and Adrian played dueling solos. That idea didn't last as Dave and Adrian wanted to showcase their talents separately. So at that point I said, well I'll just provide the entertainment. Send Eddie after me and I'll play along.

Michael Smith: So, wouldn't this just be a version of air guitaring?

Janick Gers: Well....no - I have a guitar on. Occasionally, I pluck a string.

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Dani Filth To Appear In The Hobbit

In more metal related movie news, the producers of the highly anticipated movie adaptations of J.R.R. Tolkien’s "The Hobbit" recently revealed that Cradle Of Filth frontman, Dani Filth will be appearing in one of the movies in a small, as yet unrevealed cameo role.

"We noticed that the work of Tolkien is biggest in today’s youth culture amongst heavy metal and nerdcore hip-hop fans, so we figured we’d give them something to get excited about. We looked into the former culture a lot more and were excited to see that a band called Blind Guardian had done a whole concept album based on The Silmarillion and that the average Saxon fan looks like the lovable dwarf, Gimli, so it seemed like a good idea to include a true metal giant in the film."

Obviously, roles were hard to come by in a film featuring the phenomenal acting talents of Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, Brian Blessed and Britain’s most beloved national treasure, Stephen Fry, which is why Filth’s role will only be a small one. "He was definitely a little disappointed not to have a big role," said the producer, "but he eventually reached the same conclusion that we’d come to, and will be delivering an eye catching performance in the Shire."

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Machine Head To Perform "Supercharger" In Full

Machine Head has issued the following statement through Roadrunner Records:

“We could not be more stoked about the overwhelming love and support we’ve received over the past six months since we put out [latest studio album “Unto The Locust”]. “Through The Ashes Of Empires” [2004] was literally a new start for the band, and things have only skyrocketed from there. Ten years ago, we wouldn’t have dreamed we’d be getting Grammy-nominated for “The Blackening” [2007] or winding up on everybody’s year-end list for “Locust.” Now, looking back, it’s really a dream come true.

“That’s why we felt it was necessary to commemorate an overlooked segment of Machine Head’s history, an experimental and controversial period that wound up sparking our rebirth. “Supercharger” has been misunderstood by most metal fans – and disagreed upon by members of the band to this day – since we put it out in the fall of 2001, and some would say it’s not worth a tenth anniversary, but you know what? Fuck it! Machine Head sprung from thrash roots, which have always had a real punk vibe and attitude. So what could be more punk rock than defying expectations by performing the entire album, front to back, at our festival gigs this summer? 2002 was a low point for us, but remembering the bittersweet, tough times along with the good is what keeps us creative and strong.”

Machine Head are set to appear at several major European metal festivals this upcoming summer, including Download, Graspop, and Hellfest, where – according to the above statement and a confirmation from Roadrunner – their setlist will consist of all fourteen tracks of their 2001 release “Supercharger.”

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Sunday Old School: Limp Bizkit

Some bands become huge names only in their genres, some become worldwide stars, some even change the world. Limp Bizkit are so much more important than any of these bands that it’s not even funny. Formed in 1994 by bass player Sam Rivers, his cousin John Otto, and vocalist Fred Durst, who many scholars suspect of being a descendant of William Shakespeare, they were soon joined by a guitarist named Wes Borland, who would often paint his face the colour of flesh and wear brown contact lenses in public, disguising his pale white face and black eyes, which he would only reveal on stage. The appeal of the band was immediate, and despite being an unsigned group, they were able to gain such a following that even major acts like Sugar Ray, widely considered to be the Rolling Stones of their day, opened for them. Durst attempted to get the band signed to several major labels, but fearing the power and influence they would be unleashing upon the world, many cowardly A&R reps passed on it. During this time, Durst also met Korn members Fieldy and Head, for whom he tattooed, in work which would now be displayed in the Louvre, were the musicians not too scared to have body parts amputated for display purposes. After listening to a Limp Bizkit demo, Korn brought the young band on tour with them twice, leading them to tour with hip-hop heavyweights House Of Pain, who after witnessing the young group, decided to just give up and the group’s turntablist DJ Lethal was granted the privilege of joining Limp Bizkit soon after.

Now with a full lineup, the group soon signed with Flip Records, a subsidiary of Interscope Records, for the release of their debut album, which was entitled, "Three Dollar Bill Yall$," in reference to the famous three dollar pricing tag the people of Pompeii put on shares, which caused an economic meltdown and ultimately their demise. The record was charged with strong meanings within it’s songs such as "Pollution," which led to a rise in the sales of hybrid cars, "Stink Finger," which encouraged more men everywhere to book prostate exams, a cover of the hit George Michael song, "Faith," which was solely responsible for reviving the former Wham! singer’s career and "Stalemate," a tribute to the world famous chess player Bobby Fischer. The album was a smash hit and soon their popularity had eclipsed that of breathing, despite a few bad reviews from philistine journalists who refused to acknowledge the ground breaking album. More...

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Glenn Danzig Signs Endorsement Deals

Samhain/Misfits and Danzig frontman Glenn Danzig has revealed that he has signed two lucrative endorsement deals with Campbell's Soup and Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers. He decided to become a pitchman for the products after coming to the realization that he has no desire to tour or play live again after last year's Fun Fun Fun Fest. He can now sit at home and collect money from ad revenues and devote more time to recording.

The multi-million dollar ad spot campaign will feature Glenn promoting the new product "Glenn's French Onion Soup" once it kicks off in June. He has teamed up with the Vegan Black Metal Chef to create the perfect fiery recipe. Also, Glenn will be appearing in television spots for Wendy's pitching the newly introduced hell-roasted Chicken sandwiches, since chicken is what he is about. Glenn will be featured in the ads with clips from his "Mother" video, slaying the chicken. Glenn is reportedly happy that he can devote more time to staying off the road.

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Rhapsody Of Fire Bows Out Of North American Tour

Rhapsody Of Fire announced that the band has backed out it's first ever North American Tour. However, the tour will proceed as planned with Luca Turilli's Rhapsody filling the void. In a statement released by Rhapsody of Fire keyboardist Alex Staropoli, the band cited Tom Hess' lack of time to prepare along with the overwhelming momentum after Luca Turilli's announcement of Alessandro Conti as new vocalist.

The statement reads: "We simply did not have enough time to prepare properly to give our fans the show they truly deserve. Luca [Turilli] said he would be able to fill in and he is more than a worthy replacement. He is on quite a roll since announcing the new album and vocalist."

Luca Turilli commented: "I jumped right on this momentous opportunity, something we were unable to do before the split. Alessandro is more than ready and we can't wait to unleash this great band upon North America." Turilli added jokingly: "We didn't even have to change the posters! I wonder if anyone will notice the difference?"

Confirmed dates for Luca Turilli's Rhapsody & Voyager are as follows: More...

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Beastie Boys To Embark On Hardcore Tour

Legendary American hip-hop trio the Beastie Boys has announced plans for a North American club tour this Summer, where they will be performing only material from their old hardcore punk days. When the Beastie Boys were formed in 1981, they performed hardcore punk much in the same vein as Black Flag and Minor Threat, and supported the likes of Bad Brains, Dead Kennedys and the Misfits, before adopting the hip-hop sounds they would become known for in 1984. They recently harked back to their hardcore sound on their latest album, "The Hot Sauce Committee Part Two," which featured the hardcore styled song, "Lee Majors Come Again."

They will be joined on the tour by some of the biggest names in old school hardcore, including the iconic Bad Brains, who Beastie Boy Adam Yauch has described as one of his biggest influences, particularly bass player Daryl Jennifer, as well as Reagan Youth, Angry Samoans and British legends Discharge, all of whom are considered hugely influential in the realm of the original hardcore punk movements.

A spokesman for the Beastie Boys stated: "The guys are really excited to not only be getting back to their roots by performing in clubs, but to be embarking on a tour that features so many other great names in punk. At the moment, the plan is simply to go out and have fun but if the demand is big enough, an EP of new music is very possible."

No tour dates have been revealed as of yet, but the trek is expected to commence in late June, and run until early to mid August. Stay tuned for further information. More...

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Bill Ward Discloses "Unsignable" Contract

Recently, Bill Ward announced that he would not be participating in the Black Sabbath reunion due to an "unsignable" contract being presented in negotiations. After finding out he was replaced by Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison, he has broken his silence. On his Facebook page, Bill has updated the present state of affairs regarding the impending Black Sabbath reunion in this excerpt:

Hello my fans. I am humbled by the outpouring of support you've shown me. On this third round of negotiations my lawyers have sent to Ozzy's attorneys, here is how the reunion stands. Keep in mind I have nothing but respect for my former bandmates, so I wish to not speak in derogatory terms of them.

However, the contract is still unsignable and I am breaking my silence to divulge the reasons why. It's unsignable because Sharon Osbourne only wanted to give Geezer and I five percent each, along with 10 percent for Tony. Mind you, I am not on the dole and I don't need a few quid that badly. I have my honor and as an original member of Black Sabbath I deserve to be shown respect.

Might I add that Sharon also included some mighty rich stipulations to that contract as well. She never forgave me for leaving Ozzfest in 1997 and departing the next year due to health reasons. Bloody nonsense! She made sure that on any of the tour riders I would not get a vegan platter, plus she wanted me to walk Ozzy's twelve dogs before each show.

To top it off, Sharon wanted us to do a version of "Changes" on the setlist that featured Kelly Osbourne dueting with Ozzy. I'm sorry mate, but that's where I draw the line. It was also in the contract that I would have to feature all these new commercial bands that Sharon manages on my monthly radio show on WPMD. What a load of horse bollocks. I can't handle that woman since she threw eggs at our mates in Iron Maiden years back, which upset me enough to leave that tour.

The most unacceptable thing, in my opinion, was how Sharon's management team insisted that the new album we would put out should contain commercial sounding metal that would make it easier for us to get airplay. The boys and I were thinking of calling the new album "Doomination," but she thought the title was too limiting. So, at this point, the contract is still unsignable. Mind you, I am ready at any moment to board a plane from California to Birmingham if a proper contract with no degrading stipulations exists, one in which I'd also get a proper twenty-five percent.

Bill also went on to say that it would be better if Black Sabbath reunited on 12/12/12, so that they could turn it up to twelve and watch the apocalypse unfold in nine days to some loud doom metal.

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Metalunderground.com's Best Of 2011 Awards

Much like last year, we are officially quite late on getting our “Best of 2011” metal awards out there, but the time has finally come to share our favorite staff picks. As with each year before, we polled our entire list of diverse staff members, whose collective tastes cover every conceivable genre and sub-genre within metal.

2011 was a year in which the underground truly shined, and most of the bands voted on by our staff were on the more extreme side. These albums are definitely not for the faint of heart. So for all the fans of true metal and artistry in music out there, let’s get down to the very best of the best and cover the albums every heavy metal fan should own from last year.

Best Metal Album of 2011

Unlike with previous years when our voting has been quite fractured and it’s been hard to reach a consensus, this year the top album was reach by an almost unanimous vote:

Metallica’s finest opus and Lou Reed collaboration “Lulu”

While some reviewers have panned the genius and avant-garde blending of styles in this epic collaboration, one only has to watch the video below to become a “Lulu” convert. The intensely energetic crowd throughout the entire set and the intense excitement of the band members says it all:

While the top 5 albums of the year had a fairly diverse selection of bands during our voting, there was quite a bit more uniformity in the overall votes this year, mostly due to the high quality of extreme and underground acts that put out new releases in 2011. The overall runner-ups with the most votes went to:

Morbid Angel - “Illud Divinum Insanus”
Emmure – “Speaker For the Dead”
Vampires Everywhere – “Kiss the Sun Goodbye”
Limp Bizkit – “Gold Cobra”
Black Veil Brides – “The Legacy”

We’re still tallying votes for the remaining categories such as “Best DVD,” “Best Newcomer Band,” and “Best Live Show,” and will be back with those figures in the coming days. In the mean time, what did you think of our staff picks, and what were your best albums of 2011?

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Van Canto Recruits Keyboardist Jon Lord

German power a Capella band Van Canto announced the addition of legendary keyboardist and co-founder of Deep Purple Jon Lord. In what will prove to be one of the most challenging roles in his musical career, Lord will assume of the position of "humkeys."

Van Canto songwriter Stefan Schmidt commented on the addition: "It came together so quickly. We had been deep into writing the new album and Sly [Schunke, vocals] said 'what about adding keyboards.' I said 'but no real ones.' I figured that I had found a way to successfully sing guitar solos, so why not."

The decision to ask Lord was not an immediate one. Schmidt when on to explain that Van Canto tried various ideas to try to work it out, however, the band had previously reached out to Lord for a collaboration on the band's cover of "Stormbringer" for the "Hero" album in 2008: "We had reached out to Jon back then to play regular keys but he was unavailable. But as we thought about the new record, it was a great idea to engage his interest in another possible collaboration. I was a little apprehensive at first, but he was totally for it."

Lord commented about the challenges of playing keys in vocal style: "I was blown away by the idea. It was like a whole new musical career opened up for me. I was never known for my singing style, and at first I thought I could use a vocal style on the keys themselves, but after I hummed a few parts of 'Stormbringer' it came so naturally. This will definitely be one of the most challenging ventures in my career. I feel like a kid again."

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Testament Delays New Album Release To 2013

Testament have issued a statement through their label, Nuclear Blast Records, announcing their decision to delay their forthcoming studio album “The Dark Roots Of Earth,” originally due out in May, until early 2013. To put the lengthy wait in context, the band had this to say:

“[2008’s ‘The Formation Of Damnation’] was about as kickass a comeback record as any metal band has been lucky enough to release in the past decade. It shot us back to the top of the metal totem pole and landed us some amazing tours and awesome new fans, and for that reason, we could have just rested on our laurels and released ‘Dark Roots’ when it wasn’t truly ready – just because we could.

“Fortunately for everyone, that’s not how Testament wants to do things in 2012, which is why after a long process of painful but honest decision-making – and quite a bit of arguing – we agreed that an early 2013 release is necessary. The completed mix is just not up to par with what you’ve come to expect from us, and as we debated bringing back [producer Andy Sneap] to remix it, [frontman Chuck Billy and guitarist Eric Peterson] fleshed out some brand new song ideas. They’re much, much stronger than several tracks currently on the record, so it’s back to the drawing board. Unfortunately, finalizing those songs and re-recording our entire album will require several more months of work. That’s the downside to creating great art: you have to wait for it. But the reward is sweeter that way, and rest assured – you’re in for a seriously heavy treat! For the past four years, we’ve been determined to top ourselves, and there’s no excuse for taking the easy way out now.”

No word has yet arrived on whether touring/session drummer Gene Hoglan – who also performed on the band’s “Demonic” [1997] – would carve out time to return for the second round of recording. Nor has Testament confirmed that Chris Adler, [Lamb Of God] who also provided drum tracks, would redo his parts. However, Nuclear Blast has confirmed that Testament is indeed still a member of their roster, and that the label will release “The Dark Roots Of Earth” in North America and Europe early next year – tentatively February.

In the meantime, check out Metalunderground.com's most recent interviews with Chuck Billy and Eric Peterson.

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PR Firm Fired Over AxCx Video

The Seattle Board of Tourism has fired the British firm GPR for making a crass and offensive ad campaign for its city. In the ultimate faux-pas, GPR highlighted the local Lake Union houseboat community by posting up noisecore band AxCx's video "You Live in a Houseboat," which focuses on negative stereotypes of the floating home dwellers. "Lake Union has a very elite enclave of houseboats," says resident Marge Innovera. "I assure you, no white trash lives here. We paid over a million dollars for our floating home. None of our dogs wear bandannas and I don't have a tattoo of an anchor!"

To further add insult to injury, GPR also dedicated a full web page to scenic tourist spots in Tukwila and Renton, where the Green River killer's discarded hooker victims were found. This is not the first gaffe GPR has made. Back in February, they were dropped by the State of Kentucky's Tourist Board for saying that the state's residents play Roadkill Bingo, a game where road trippers count the number of dead carcasses on the side of the highway. Check out a story on that over here. The offensive AxCx video at the center of this firestorm of controversy follows below. Seth Putnam could not be reached for comment.

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Details Of New Bill And Ted Movie Revealed

The answers to the prayers of heavy metal fans baying for another nostalgia bomb have seemingly been answered… twice! Strong rumours are circulating that not only will the duo of Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter finally be reunited as head bangers Bill & Ted, but they will be joined by two other famous heavy metal loving characters, Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, who will be reprised once more by Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey respectively. Dubbed, "Bill and Ted’s Bodacious Crossover," the film features the title characters being transported back to Illinois in 1994, meeting Wayne and Garth, the only two heavy metal fans who still listened to Cinderella in the nineties. The duo discover that the Wayne’s World television show, broadcasted on public access in Wayne’s parents basement, was central in the role of spreading their "most excellent" philosophy, but due to ripples in the space time continuum caused by their arrival, history has been altered, finding Wayne and Garth no longer on speaking terms and abandoning the show, thus not allowing their message of peace and hard rocking music to be delivered.

An insider elaborated: "It’s totally classic humour from both series, really funny stuff. One scene sees a brilliant reference to the first Bill and Ted movie, in which Ted is playing an online game of Call Of Duty, using a humorous username, when he is killed by Bill, a message flashes on Bill's screen exclaiming, ‘You killed Ted You Medieval Dickweed!’ Plus Wayne joking about situations that will eventually come true e.g. ‘It might happen… Schyeah! And Van Halen might reunite!’ Also, like with both Wayne’s World movies, there will be a live concert scene from a legendary hard rock band. At the moment the producers are in talks with Motorhead, Steel Panther and Pearl Jam, but nothing has been confirmed on that front yet. Whether or not the producers can score a big name, Wyld Stallyns will be picking up their instruments again, most likely to perform the Wayne’s World theme song. Most importantly though, yes, Rip Taylor will be back!"

No further information has been divulged at this time, but it is rumoured that the soundtrack will consist of music no later than 1994 and that the role of Rufus, previously portrayed by legendary comedian George Carlin, will now be played by Louis C.K.

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Alestorm Kicked Off Paganfest Tour

Scottish pirate act Alestorm was kicked off the current Paganfest America tour for comments made by singer Christopher Bowes during the band's sold out performance at the Gramercy Tavern in New York City Saturday evening.

Just prior to the band's performance of "Back Through Time," Bowes stated the following:

"How many people here like Vikings?" Hearing a mixed crowd reaction, Bowes went on to say: "Well, later tonight you going to meet some from Finland, so we hope you join us in going 'back in time' to keelhaul those red faced bastards and shoot out the one good eye of their fake god Odin!" The band proceeded to rouse the crowd into a chants of "Vikings suck" and "Less war....more whores."

Early this morning, Turisas posted the following on its official website: "Due to personal and safety reasons, Alestorm has pulled out of the current Paganfest tour. We are happy to announce that country mates Ensiferum have agreed to break from the studio work and join us starting with the show this evening in Montreal."

Alestorm responded with a post on the band's Facebook Page which read "Bad news guys :(. Fucking vikings and their bullshit."

The remaining dates of the tour include the following: More...

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KoRn/Morbid Angel Members Form Supergroup

Dub metal is officially the future as Trey Azagthoth and Jonathan Davis have formed a new supergroup with dubstep DJ Excision. In a statement from Davis, “I feel that Morbid Angel were the only other band willing to push metal into the realm of electronica and while “The Path of Totality” was a fun album, it was more of a one-time thing. What’s needed is a supergroup that really pushes boundaries into dubstep since that's really what the future is going to be.”

No news about the rest of the lineup is available but Austrian breakcore DJ/frequent Bephegor collaborator Hecate is rumored to be involved in some capacity. It's unknown what will come of the collaboration but Metal Underground will follow up with news on the supergroup.

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Sodom Frontman Given Suspended Sentence

Legendary Sodom frontman Thomas Such (aka Tom Angelripper) was facing two felony charges when he was convicted of hunting without a license and being in possession of an open container back in December. Gelsenkirchen game wardens confiscated all his high-powered rifles and beer cans, jailing him without incident. Over fifty malt-liquor cans were taken into evidence.

Appearing in court on March 31st, Judge Helmut Pferd gave him a suspended two-year sentence, which includes the mandatory completion of 200 hours community service cleaning a downtown disco up after hours and volunteering for PETA. He must also attend daily AA meetings since flunking a UA back in February. As per the sentence, Tom must adhere to a strict 9:00 p.m. curfew, play no gigs with his band and abstain from recording any beer-themed songs with Onkel Tom.

Tom Angelripper currently chairs the 12-Step meeting in downtown Gelsenkirchen, where he has just received his 30-day "Clean and Sober" keychain. Get a list of meeting times by going here. Below are a few of the photos admitted into evidence from the hunting trip in question.

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Tool to Tour With Dream Theater

The biggest progressive metal tour of all time is coming to North America. Tool and Dream Theater will be co-headlining a trek across the entire continent and will be bringing Gojira and Epica along for the ride. According to Tool drummer Danny Carey, “This is a tour that we've wanted to do for a long, long time but we just never got around to since the money and scheduling were never right for us. Now fans can finally see us with Dream Theater on the same bill. I remember Adam (Jones, Tool Guitarist) first passed the idea along back in 1998 but we had Ozzfest coming up so it just didn't happen and then Maynard got busy with A Perfect Circle so that really limited our touring options from there on out.” More...

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