Interview with Cannabis Corpse
Band Photo: Cannabis Corpse (?)
Stumbling out of the smoke are the young men of death metal crew Cannabis Corpse. Promoting their new album "The Weeding," the band hit the road with Ramming Speed to preach the word of Bud and metal to the masses. Cannabis Corpse descended on New Orleans the same day that the President did and discussed with me very important issues. The interview was cut short by an altercation that spilled into the street from the bar. A transcribed version follows.
Buick Mckane: Welcome to New Orleans. How’s the tour been going so far?
Landphil: Good as shit.
Buick: That’s awesome. Your third album “The Weeding” just came out this month. So how’s it going? How’s it selling?
Landphil: Well, we’ve been on tour for about two weeks now and all the shows have been great. There hasn’t been any shitty shows, so…
Hallhammer: Atlanta was a rager! Gainesville was a rager!
Weedgrinder: We had a lot of cool warehouse shows. “The Weeding” EPs been well received.
Buick: That’s great. I usually ask that question, but nobody wants to answer it.
Hallhammer: Out on Tank Crimes Records for the low price of $4.20.
Buick: Tell me more about the album. What is it about?
Weedy: Well, it’s not a full album. It’s a teaser to the one that’s coming out next. And it’s got two songs that are about how the buds are eventually coming here to rape the Earth and turn it into a big, demonic pot party.
Landphil: By demonic pot party he means funky pot party.
Weedy: Yeah, funky pot party. And just two songs about, anecdotes about people getting fucked up when they smoke weed. Evil shit like that.
Buick: Have yall had any weird stories about when you’re smoking pot and something happens?
Hallhammer: One time this guy brought me this weed, and then I smoked it and he said,” That ain’t weed. That’s crystal meth, homes!” And then I woke up in Deebo’s chicken coop.
Buick: Pigeon coop.
Landphil: Pigeon coop. Get it right, dude.
Buick: That’s cause yall smoke too much pot, you can’t remember.
Weedy: We got good weed stories, but we don’t remember.
Buick: The album costs, in the CD form, $4.20, right? Is that any significant number for any reason?
Weedy: Highway 420 is the first time we ever smoked weed. We were on that highway.
Landphil: I smoked weed for the first time on this tour. It’s weird.
Nickropolis: I’ve actually never smoked weed before.
Landphil: I was just kiddin’ about that.
Hallhammer: If it comes to the end of the night and we have a long drive the next day, we have to have the marijuana. So, a message to everyone that comes to the shows, we need that thing.
Landphil: We need it. We need it.
Weedy: We used to be a straight-edge crew, but our parents hated it. So we decided to smoke weed so that they would accept us more.
Buick: Oh, okay. My mom told me to smoke weed instead of drink.
Landphil: Your mom is kinda…I want to meet that mom.
Buick: You do. She’s apparently really hot.
Landphil: Oh, you got a hot mom that smokes weed.
Buick: That’s what they say.
Landphil: Tell her to come to the show. We got a couple single guys in this band.
Buick: How many are single? Raise your hands.
Landphil: Well, we can’t give exact numbers right now.
Weedy: How ‘bout I do this instead of raise my hand [gestures]?
Landphil: Zoom into this guy! I guess he’s the singlest.
Weedy: Well, I wasn’t expecting company.
Landphil: [Hallhammer] is the second most singlest.
Hallhammer: No, I got…[looks to the side].
Buick: He keeps looking that way, but there ain’t nobody there.
Hallhammer: Oh, that’s where my pretend hoes are.
Buick: Alright, I really like the tour poster with Beavis and Butthead zombies in a post-apocalyptic world. Who came up with that?
Landphil: Weedgrinder came up with the concept.
Weedy: Me and Ramming Speed, we just kind of came up with it.
Nickropolis: Somebody said,” Let’s just have them be undead.”
Weedy: We were chillen’, we were smoking a big [joint] with Mike Judge, and he’s like,” Hey, man, you guys should use Beavis and Butthead, dude.”
Landphil: No, he doesn’t know Mike Judge.
Weedy: Yeah, I’m just kidding. Don’t tell Mike Judge I said that.
Landphil: You wanna get sued?
Weedy: Cease and desist, please.
Buick: What do you think Mike Judge will do now that King of the Hill’s been cancelled?
Landphil: I didn’t know it’s been cancelled.
Buick: It’s cancelled. It’s over.
Weedy: We’d better cancel the show.
Landphil: Yeah, we’re cancelling the show.
Buick: But he needs to make something else that’s fun. Some of yall are in other bands. How do you find time to make music and tour with this band?
Nickropolis: Whenever we can. [Landphil] is pretty busy.
Landphil: I’ve been doing a lot of shit.
Nickropolis: I’ve been pretty busy.
Landphil: Nick been doing a lot of shit, Andy been doing a lot of shit. But we love Cannabis Corpse, so we play whenever we can find time, which is every now and then.
Buick: This Spring, you did a cameo in a movie. In the Loop. How fun was that?
Nickropolis: It was a pretty sweet gig.
Hallhammer: I had severe food poisoning the whole fucking day, and we show up and they have this bling catering and the it’s that girl from My Girl sitting there eating. I was like,” I really want some of this,” but I was literally green.
Weedy: Hallhammer had that shit where Subway and all those restaurants recalled tomatoes because of the salmonella.
Hallhammer: Yeah, the tomato shit.
Weedy: You ate a sub at Subway like two days before with tomatoes on it. Got sick as shit. Salmonella. Still played. Still played in the movie. Played the song like 20 times for a bunch of…they had actors there that were _, so they were like real posers.
Buick: Because of all your commitments to other places, what is the future of this band?
Landphil: I want to be as prolific as any band. I want to get 15 albums out before I croak.
Weedy: EVERY BUD MUST BE SMOKEN! Yes, we did.
Nickropolis: Yes, we can.
Weedy: Yes, weed can.
Landphil: We’re just going to keep crankin’ out death metal until it fucking catches on.
Buick: President Obama was here today.
Nickropolis: In New Orleans?
Buick: At my school, at UNO about 10 miles that way.
Landphil: Damn. Does he smoke bud?
Buick: I don’t think so. He outlawed flavored cigarettes.
Hallhammer: He smokes cigarettes, dude.
Landphil: If he smokes, he pokes.
Buick: Well, what would you say to him other than that if you got to meet him?
Hallhammer: I would ask him if he was an alien. That’d be the first thing I’d ask him.
Weedy: If you’re the president, you’d better not be an alien.
Nickropolis: It’s always crazy in NOLA.
Hallhammer: This is the coolest interview ever.
Emily is an avid supporter of the New Orleans scene, often filming shows and conducting interviews with local bands to help promote their music. She also runs her own site dedicated to the New Orleans scene, Crescent City Chaos.
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