"some music was meant to stay underground..."

Column

The Rockstar Ramblings: The Tax Man

Photo of Ozzy Osbourne

Band Photo: Ozzy Osbourne (?)

News wires across the globe were quick to pick up the report that Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne owed a reported 1.7 million dollars in taxes to the Internal Revenue Service. The Osbourne's reportedly have paid this debt that was, in their words, news to them. It’s too bad because that is obviously a lot of money. Other ways they could have spent 1.7 million dollars:

Sharon could slip the 1.7 to Donald Trump as a political “donation” in hopes of becoming his running mate for the next Presidential election…

Pay for a billboard over Hollywood’s Sunset strip and hire Randy “Macho Man” Savage to promote Jani Lane’s new EP. Lane has a new EP coming soon that will be a free download with a choice to pay. Let’s make this happen. Lane and Savage side by side over West Hollywood. Lane needs to get back to making music and Savage needs to get back to selling consumer products. How does this benefit Ozzy? Probably doesn’t, but let’s assume Sharon has a crush on Randy Savage, if so, call it an early Christmas present. For more information go to www.stepintoaslimjim.com...

Approximately 121,000 copies of the book “Your Memory: How it works and how to improve it”. First copy can go to Sammy Hagar (Chickenfoot, ex-Van Halen) for his recent work on “The Star Spangled Banner” (see below). Special Note: No comments related to Hagar and aliens abducting his brain allowed…

1.7 million Taco Bell crunchy tacos…

Steven Tyler’s (Aerosmith) rumored salary for American Idol…

850,000 Gordita Supremes from Taco Bell (btw is there any three word phrase more exciting than: Doritos Taco Shells?)…

It has been rumored that at one point Gene Simmons (KISS) insured his famous tongue for one million dollars, of course for Ozzy’s body parts, there is a good chance 1M wouldn’t cover the deductible…

One week in lawyer fees for W. Axl Rose (Guns N Roses)…

Six months of mental treatment for country music legend Billy Ray Cyrus for each time he hears the name Bret Michaels (Poison) linked to his daughter Miley…

One VIP package for 4 to the upcoming Motley Crue-Poison-NY Dolls tour. Taxes and T-shirt not included…

200,000 copies of the complete collection of Ally McBeal, including all appearances by Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi). If for no other reason just to hand out to random people on the street and say, “See, this really did happen!”…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

What's Next?

Please share this article if you found it interesting.

You can get related band news and info in the sidebar and on the respective band pages.


1 Comment on "The Rockstar Ramblings: The Tax Man"

Post your comments and discuss the article below! (no login required)

TheFishWasDelish's avatar

Member

1. TheFishWasDelish writes:

Im going to be frank here, These columns are getting old.

# Apr 16, 2011 @ 1:29 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

To minimize comment spam/abuse, you cannot post comments on articles over a month old. Please check the sidebar to the right or the related band pages for recent related news articles.