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Axl Rose On His Disappearance: "I Was Abducted By Aliens"

Guns N Roses mainman Axl Rose doesn't have it easy. In an interview conducted this morning in light of his planned American Idol appearance, Axl has broken the silence on his disappearance around the release of “Chinese Democracy.”

During his disappearance for two months in 2008, Axl Rose claims he was actually abducted by aliens. "I couldn't say anything about it at the time. When I returned, I went to the FBI and they said I had to keep this story under wraps..."

Clearly emotional and having trouble collecting himself, Rose continued, “They did all sorts of tests on me. I could never see their faces. There were always these bright lights. All I could think about is how I'm not even going to see my fifteen year masterpiece released to the world...how I wouldn't be able to tour. I promise all of my fans that I will uphold my touring commitments from now on. I won't take any of this for granted any more.”

Conspiracy theorists were fast at work trying to prove that it was the Chinese government who actually kidnapped and duped the aging hair metal star for speaking out against the current regime. His re-emergence in Dulles National Airport, completely disoriented, only fueled the speculation.

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29 Comments on "Axl Rose: 'I Was Abducted By Aliens'"

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brandedcfh420's avatar

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1. brandedcfh420 writes:

i could see him come out and say something like that!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 7:19 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

Member

2. GORECUNT writes:

I second Post #1. I could see it now:

Aliens: We're done with our tests on you. How do you feel?
Axl: My a$$ hurts
Aliens: You've been butthurt ever since Slash left. So where would you like to be dropped off?
Axl: TAKE ME DOWN TO THE PARADISE CITY WHERE THE GRASS IS GREEN AND THE GIRLS ARE PRETTY! OH WON'T YOU PLEASE TAKE ME HO-O-OMMME! YEAH-YEAAAH!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 7:36 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
InfernoNecrosis's avatar

Writer / Reviewer

3. InfernoNecrosis writes:

LOL @ Gore.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 7:37 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. ryan l writes:

whats sad is i actually could belive this

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 7:43 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. stuff writes:

Lol at post 2 but you forgot the aliens sayin quick get him the f*** off of here before he has one of his mood swings

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 7:45 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
6. gutterballz writes:

I thought the most likely scenario would be that the mother ship finally landed to take him home...but even they couldn't stand the pr*ck. I'd hate Axl if Appetite For Destruction wasn't so damn good.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 8:14 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

Member

7. GORECUNT writes:

I hate Axl regardless of how good "Appetite" was.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 8:22 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Cozen's avatar

Member

8. Cozen writes:

Two words...Mr. Brownstone. I'd buy him Trainspotting it for 2 months before an alien abduction. Who woulda thunk it, Axl Rose, Earth's ambassador to otherwordly intelligence...? I advise everyone go out a buy a gun if you haven't already. We're surely gonna be under attack at any moment.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 8:25 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
9. Bob Gratton writes:

April fools dah...

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 9:47 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Pursuit_Of_Vikings's avatar

Member

10. Pursuit_Of_Vikings writes:

Damn FBI c***suckers hiding the truth. If only Mulder were still there...

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 11:45 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Fuck_A_Name's avatar

Member

11. Fuck_A_Name writes:

^he's too busy getting laid in california to worry about aliens anymore...

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 11:48 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
MetallicPunk's avatar

Member

12. MetallicPunk writes:

While I think Axl Rose is sorta cool,I have to agree with branded,it does sound like something Axl would randomly say.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 12:26 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. lumpus5 writes:

Axl would get tea bagged by an alien and then be forced to toss their leaders salad, and he would like it.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 12:57 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Fuck_A_Name's avatar

Member

14. Fuck_A_Name writes:

^he'd still b**** about it afterwards though. and then sue them.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 1:10 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
15. That one guy writes:

Lmao.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 1:14 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Quackhead's avatar

Member

16. Quackhead writes:

How lame do u have to be to believe that sh**

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 1:41 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Chuck_Norris's avatar

Member

17. Chuck_Norris writes:

Classic Axl.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 8:22 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
18. J writes:

Wow that is so hilarious. You should write for SNL. Truly gifted. You f***ing moron.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 8:34 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
19. Axl sucks writes:

worst frontman in hair rock history

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 9:30 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LordAssenfroth's avatar

Member

20. LordAssenfroth writes:

what the f***

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 9:54 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
KanadianKoRn's avatar

Member

21. KanadianKoRn writes:

I think thats fu(kin hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahaaha thats what happens when you live in the jungle all high on acid!

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 12:20 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
metalhead312's avatar

Member

22. metalhead312 writes:

i bet this is an april fools joke this was posted on april 1st

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 5:44 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

Member

23. GORECUNT writes:

I'd go to the Amazon to do Yopo. I hear great things.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 9:51 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
ATTILATHEHEN's avatar

Member

24. ATTILATHEHEN writes:

wish 'they' would have kept Bill Bailey(I am assuming this story to be a farce,but I do wish it were true & the coneheads from planet Meatzorp had hung onto him)

# Apr 3, 2009 @ 2:32 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
25. billy bob writes:

LOL I actually believed this

# Apr 5, 2009 @ 7:18 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
26. MelodeathAddict writes:

I could swear I saw something like this coming, oh man Axl, wow. -_-

# Apr 5, 2009 @ 11:57 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
xman's avatar

Member

27. xman writes:

oh ok

# Apr 6, 2009 @ 10:20 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
28. deathkid420 writes:

what a f***ing fag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# Apr 12, 2009 @ 7:56 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
29. Juliana writes:

ohhh God ... his problem is much larger than I expected!
When I read the story, I started to laugh uncontrollability, but now I gave it to me with this serious mental health problems ... a sad reality for a BIG and arrogant star of the rock ... and that oh!

# Apr 15, 2009 @ 12:47 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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