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Axl Rose To Guest Judge on American Idol, Recovering from Amazon Incident

It has been confirmed that Axl Rose has been announced to serve as a guest judge and special performer on the world's largest singing competition, American Idol.

However, he is currently healing from a freak injury to his ego while hiking in the Amazon rainforest. While Axl was hiking with a group, they came across some natives who had not yet heard of "Chinese Democracy." Axl then reportedly asked if they knew where they were. The natives then responded, "You're in the jungle, baby."

"It hurt my soul," weeped Axl, "so I punched them all and left the tour guide."

He still plans to judge and perform on Idol stating that, "This will really test my ego to see if I'm ready to tour GnR later this year."

When asked why the rock star decided to participate, Axl responded, "I view this as a great opportunity to both help these contestants learn how to cover my songs when they make it big, and also to promote my latest masterpiece (Chinese Democracy). When Simon contacted me to assist during 'Rock Week' (since renamed to 'Axl Week'), I couldn't refuse. I know I'm too metal for a pop show, but this is a chance to put 'Chinese Democracy' in every home across the globe."

The contestants will be limited to choosing songs off of 'Chinese Democracy' and will watch as Axl performs all of the parts of each song for them, by himself. The show is anticipating setting a new ratings record.

When asked if a Guns n' Roses reunion could be in line or if any former members would also be participating by making a special guest apperance with him, Axl responded, "Fuck those fucking fucks! I am Guns n' Roses! I've always been Guns n' Fucking Roses! AHHHH!"

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39 Comments on "Axl Rose To Guest on American Idol Despite Injury"

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That_One_Guy's avatar

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1. That_One_Guy writes:

"Axl then reportedly asked if they knew where they were. The natives then responded, "You're in the jungle, baby."

"It hurt my soul," weeped Axl, "so I punched them all and left the tour guide.""

LMFAO, that's f***ing brilliant, Terminator!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 1:28 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anubiz's avatar

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2. Anubiz writes:

LOL, Nice!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 1:35 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
3. April Fool's writes:

Nice Try!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 1:52 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jamez's avatar

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4. Jamez writes:

Nice one! Could have even be true. With Axl you never know...

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 1:55 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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5. GORECUNT writes:

"Axl then reportedly asked if they knew where they were. The natives then responded, "You're in the jungle, baby."..."

LOLOLOL!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 1:56 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jamez's avatar

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6. Jamez writes:

LOL, could have been true, ^ apart from that part, of course :) Gore, Charming name btw

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 2:04 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Valley_of_the_Dead's avatar

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7. Valley_of_the_Dead writes:

Whatever... pffffff

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 2:12 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
8. J writes:

You're f***ing retarded.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 2:23 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
9. Twobntouch writes:

APRIL FOOLS!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 2:37 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
10. Bird writes:

The girl that posted this probably listens to Poison, Warrant and Hootie and the Blowfish. Hey Terminator, try to be funny next time.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 2:54 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Demented_Clown's avatar

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11. Demented_Clown writes:

lol, I would probably tune into american idol to see this, then turn it off 2 minutes later realizing what im actually watchin, i like thier older stuff tho

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 3:00 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
12. lumpus5 writes:

axl is a fag and if he even thought about punching anyone his homo a$$ would get laid out, american idol is fucing lame.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 3:16 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. mtdoomivxx writes:

I actually thought this one was true. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Axl went for this gig.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 3:17 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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14. GORECUNT writes:

Post #10. This article was hilarious! I don't know what you're malfunction is.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 3:33 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
15. Sharky writes:

Hey lumpus5 if you ever ran into Axl face to face and called him a fag he'd beat the sh** out of you.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 3:35 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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16. GORECUNT writes:

Sharky, I actually doubt that. Axl is a b**** thru and thru

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 3:36 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Dee's avatar

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17. Dee writes:

Dat s**t was funny. Nice!!!!!!!!!!!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 5:59 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Androphobic's avatar

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18. Androphobic writes:

lol couldnt you tell by his feminine physique?

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 6:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
InfernoNecrosis's avatar

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19. InfernoNecrosis writes:

LOL that was awesome!

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 6:27 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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20. GORECUNT writes:

Jamez: Thanks for the compliment by the way. The name came to mind from a random conversation I had with a friend about random tattoos we'd get. He mentioned that he wanted to have "BABY KILLER" somewhere for the lulz. Then we thought of two random 4-letter words to put on our knuckles. So I'd have "GORE" on one hand, and "c***" on the other. Yes...I know its stupid.

# Apr 1, 2009 @ 8:34 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
21. lumpus5 writes:

hey sharky if i ever ran into you face to face id slap you in your c***sucker.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 12:40 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
That_One_Guy's avatar

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22. That_One_Guy writes:

Some people just do not have a sense of humor...

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 1:40 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LordAssenfroth's avatar

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23. LordAssenfroth writes:

clearly axl rose needs to be brought down a peg or two

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 9:54 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jamez's avatar

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24. Jamez writes:

^ That_One_Guy, I know. That's why I'm personally always on "funny pills"... GoreC--t, thats more like it! So when you shake hands with people, do they get the Gore or the c***?

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 2:03 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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25. GORECUNT writes:

I shake with my right hand. They'd get the GORE

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 8:49 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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26. GORECUNT writes:

Actually those two tats would be convenient! I keep my nails long on my right hand for the strings on guitar (GORE). And finger my girlfriend with my left hand (since the nails are short for the frets), so "C*NT" would be appropriate!

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 8:52 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Fuck_A_Name's avatar

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27. Fuck_A_Name writes:

you should masturbate with your c*** lol

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 8:52 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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28. GORECUNT writes:

I'm ambidextrous when it comes to that f***_a_name. Primarily, I use GORE though.

# Apr 2, 2009 @ 9:49 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jamez's avatar

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29. Jamez writes:

Nice, F_A_N... :)

# Apr 3, 2009 @ 12:45 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Fuck_A_Name's avatar

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30. Fuck_A_Name writes:

"Gorec*** Masturbation"

by golly, thats a song title if I've ever heard one

# Apr 3, 2009 @ 3:22 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

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31. Blindgreed1 writes:

FAN: By golly? lol.

# Apr 3, 2009 @ 3:51 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

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32. GORECUNT writes:

LOL

# Apr 3, 2009 @ 4:21 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
33. chucj writes:

its a bullsh** article.... i highly doubt trash like that would come out of axls mouth... but thats my opinion.

# Apr 4, 2009 @ 8:26 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
34. Falopa writes:

Axl, he is great!

# Apr 4, 2009 @ 11:51 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
InfernoNecrosis's avatar

Writer / Reviewer

35. InfernoNecrosis writes:

So I go on this thread again and I see something about Gorec*** Masturbation. At MU, we really like to keep it classy. *sarcasm*

# Apr 4, 2009 @ 11:54 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

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36. brandedcfh420 writes:

chucj writes:
its a bullsh** article.... i highly doubt trash like that would come out of axls mouth... but thats my opinion.


look at the date it was posted!! APRILS FOOLS!!

# Apr 4, 2009 @ 12:01 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
GORECUNT's avatar

Member

37. GORECUNT writes:

A song title like that only works for deathcore.

# Apr 4, 2009 @ 4:53 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
38. Vomit Bucket writes:

We knew the article was fake. Axl doesn't swear. He's a fine young man.

Besides, would they really postpone American Idol for three years waiting for him to finally show up?

da boyz from the band Vomit Bucket

# Apr 5, 2009 @ 10:34 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
That_One_Guy's avatar

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39. That_One_Guy writes:

Vomit bucket? lol.

# Apr 5, 2009 @ 10:56 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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