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Axl Rose To Guest Judge on American Idol, Recovering from Amazon Incident
It has been confirmed that Axl Rose has been announced to serve as a guest judge and special performer on the world's largest singing competition, American Idol.
However, he is currently healing from a freak injury to his ego while hiking in the Amazon rainforest. While Axl was hiking with a group, they came across some natives who had not yet heard of "Chinese Democracy." Axl then reportedly asked if they knew where they were. The natives then responded, "You're in the jungle, baby."
"It hurt my soul," weeped Axl, "so I punched them all and left the tour guide."
He still plans to judge and perform on Idol stating that, "This will really test my ego to see if I'm ready to tour GnR later this year."
When asked why the rock star decided to participate, Axl responded, "I view this as a great opportunity to both help these contestants learn how to cover my songs when they make it big, and also to promote my latest masterpiece (Chinese Democracy). When Simon contacted me to assist during 'Rock Week' (since renamed to 'Axl Week'), I couldn't refuse. I know I'm too metal for a pop show, but this is a chance to put 'Chinese Democracy' in every home across the globe."
The contestants will be limited to choosing songs off of 'Chinese Democracy' and will watch as Axl performs all of the parts of each song for them, by himself. The show is anticipating setting a new ratings record.
When asked if a Guns n' Roses reunion could be in line or if any former members would also be participating by making a special guest apperance with him, Axl responded, "Fuck those fucking fucks! I am Guns n' Roses! I've always been Guns n' Fucking Roses! AHHHH!"
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