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When Badasses Go Soft: The 10 Weakest Songs by Badass Bands

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Band Photo: Metallica (?)

"When Badasses Go Soft: The 10 Weakest Songs by Badass Bands" is a recent feature on Cracked.com detailing their list of some of the biggest cases of hard andheavy bands wussing out. Metal is of course well-represented on the list with the following spots:

#10. "Until It Sleeps" - Metallica
#8. "All of My Love" - Led Zeppelin
#6. "Mama, I'm Coming Home" - Ozzy Osborne
#4. "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" - Aerosmith

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54 Comments on "The 10 Weakest Songs by Badass Bands"

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Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

1. Diamond Oz writes:

"Granted, the power ballad craze overtook metal in the late ’80s, but when Ozzy Osbourne fell victim to it, the result was nauseating—like, catching-your-parents-f***ing nauseating"

Hahaha!

# Aug 25, 2007 @ 4:55 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jackrum's avatar

Supporter

2. Jackrum writes:

there are some truely god aweful abortions of music in that list.

# Aug 25, 2007 @ 7:07 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
3. Stephen writes:

Since when is Uncle Kracker badass?

# Aug 25, 2007 @ 4:49 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. pacifront84 writes:

dude i dont know, that solo in mama im coming home is baddass. randy rhodes was amazing!

# Aug 26, 2007 @ 2:00 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. ZT writes:

Mama, I'm Coming Home is weak? f*** you, man. f*** YOU.

# Aug 26, 2007 @ 2:18 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

6. Diamond Oz writes:

It's Zakk Wylde in Mama I'm Coming Home, not Randy.

# Aug 26, 2007 @ 5:48 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
7. haddf writes:

yeah dumb a$$ it was zakk wylde nat randy

# Aug 26, 2007 @ 5:00 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jomama's avatar

Supporter

8. Jomama writes:

I like that song,(mama i'm coming home) but admittedly, wussified, lol

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 2:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
9. pacifront83 writes:

oh sh**, then Zak wylde is amazing! And f*** of Zt people make mistakes, i f***ed your dirty mother last night so forgive me!And f*** you too u f***ing c*** smoker, sorry im dont suck ozzys balls like the rest of u b****es.

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 2:26 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
10. fearthedje writes:

they could have pretty much had every aerosmith song since the 80s in that list set. i think they should start doing drugs again, maybe theyll make some good music again.

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 4:16 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Cynic's avatar

Senior Reviewer

11. Cynic writes:

sh** Metallica had worse songs than Until It Sleeps, in fact it's probably one of the better songs of the Load/Reload period.

Low Mans Lyric anyone?

Now Playing: Opeth - "Credence"

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 8:36 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
12. rk writes:

actually thats a killer LZ song In Through The Out Door is a highly underated rock album.

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 9:12 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. rk writes:

btw that song was about robert plants son who passed away in the 80's.

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 9:13 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
deathbringer's avatar

Founder, owner & programmer

14. deathbringer writes:

I think Until It Sleeps made the list because it was the first video where they all had hair cuts and they're wearing makeup and sh**. Less about the song and more about the image/video. But Until It Sleeps was the closest thing to a leftover from the Black album as they had on those two albums, which means it was one of the better ones, IMO.

# Aug 27, 2007 @ 11:16 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
15. 2C writes:

How about the entire St. Anger? that should do it

# Aug 28, 2007 @ 4:18 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
16. Q writes:

Why are Zeppelin and Aerosmith on that list?? Badass bands? And, powerballads made Aerosmith

# Aug 28, 2007 @ 4:27 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Red_Chord's avatar

Member

17. Red_Chord writes:

I too think that mama I'm coming home was a great song. I really love it. And as far as the rest of the list goes, if those dudes are badass then how come they forgot Britney Spears, Celine Dion and the likes. If I get this right and from what I see in the list, they are evil badass b****es.

# Aug 28, 2007 @ 8:29 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
18. PorcupineTreeFan writes:

I thought "Dead by Dawn" by Deicide would be a sure pick....lol No this list has a lot of "bad" songs on it. The whole power ballad thing was a sad time in Rock history, but it made a lot of bands lots of money... Money can lead many people to make disapointing/horrible music.

# Aug 28, 2007 @ 9:01 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
19. feratu writes:

Diamond Oz writes:
"Granted, the power ballad craze overtook metal in the late ’80s, but when Ozzy Osbourne fell victim to it, the result was nauseating—like, catching-your-parents-f***ing nauseating"

Ever hear of Goodbye to Romance? He practically invented the power ballad!

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 12:47 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
20. ZT writes:

Actually rk, Plant's son died in 1977.

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 1:40 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Cynic's avatar

Senior Reviewer

21. Cynic writes:

I quite liked that Goodbye To Romance song lol.

Now Playing - Opeth - "Wreath"

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 3:30 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

22. Diamond Oz writes:

Lol yeah Goodbye To Romance isn't that bad, nor is Mama I'm Coming Home in my opinion BUT let us not forget the abomination that was So Tired. THAT was nauseating!

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 4:07 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
23. Spirit In Black writes:

Unfortunately there's not enough spots on the list to put every Metallica song after the Black Album

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 6:28 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
24. Ben Dover writes:

Megadeth's A Tout le Monde should've made the list. The new re-recorded version is even gayer.

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 2:23 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
25. rk writes:

well late 70s close enough.

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 2:42 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
26. E-Rock writes:

If any Zeppelin song should be on here, "Fool In The Rain" would be it.

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 7:13 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
27. rk writes:

damn thats a good song too lol.

# Aug 29, 2007 @ 9:00 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
28. Metal_Razrhed writes:

Fukn A man!!!! Power ballads were/are not just at cash cow, SOMETIMES (n i use that term somewhat loosely) they're a expression of an artists/bands more tender emotions. Goodbye To Romance (phenonimanal song btw) was a "see ya l8r" to Ozzy's former bandmates (and perhaps a F U to one Ronnie James Dio). Mama I'm Comin Home, well its kinda self explanatory. Metal has "used" power ballads since its inception 2 convey its composers "feelings" since the beginning. Don't hate power ballads cos they're "p***y songs" or wateva u wanna call em.

# Sep 1, 2007 @ 6:47 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
29. Zac Efron Fan writes:

Zac Efron iz so hotttt! Metal is lame. Listen to High School Musical. We broke so many records.

# Sep 1, 2007 @ 10:09 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
30. rk writes:

haha your a$$ is gay. HS musical my balls.

# Sep 2, 2007 @ 9:59 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
31. Towbar tru hardcore writes:

Look People metallica (lowercase on purpose) lost all soul and meaning on the Black Album....That Album and all the rest after should be burned ---metallica has been gone 4ever and thats just that

# Sep 2, 2007 @ 11:24 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
32. Zac Efron Fan writes:

Metallica suxxx! Zac Efron is hottter than them

# Sep 3, 2007 @ 1:59 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
thor_hath_risen's avatar

Member

33. thor_hath_risen writes:

f*** hsm!!! grow some f***in balls man!!!!! f***in ignorant whores, try listening to some music with substance or a meaning here and there maybe.


np: ADD- system of a down

# Sep 3, 2007 @ 10:18 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
thor_hath_risen's avatar

Member

34. thor_hath_risen writes:

that was a waste of ten seconds of my life.


np- die, die my darling- the misfits

# Sep 3, 2007 @ 10:31 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
35. hippoman writes:

zac if you are not mature enough to understand that your taste is not everyone elses. My personal favourite artist is LZ but i dont infringe on other people's opinions by putting them down. if you have nothing constructive to say i suggest you shut up.

# Sep 6, 2007 @ 10:50 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LiquidMetal.77's avatar

Member

36. LiquidMetal.77 writes:

yo, wassup. who missed me??

# Sep 6, 2007 @ 3:24 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
37. ZT writes:

^^ DUUUDE!!!!!!!

# Sep 6, 2007 @ 3:37 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
38. MetalKicksYourASS writes:

Wow! Someone who also hates Metallica's idiot black Album? Hally lewja! James is too old for Metallica now... Metallica is too old for Metallica now. Oh and to Zac Efron Fan: You are, unfortunately to say, a lot like my 12 year old sister... so, why hang out here?

# Sep 6, 2007 @ 7:30 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
39. godlike writes:

Hey LM77...what are you doin here...? were you gone..?

and to ZT....dude...have you seen any of the old Montrose footage on youtube..? Sammy is so young...its kinda funny...but seeing Ronnie jammin is incredible...so underrated...!! Paper Money and I Got the Fire....

Oz...the tunes sound EXCELLENT... I like Wolves at the Door..well, No Fear kicks some a$$ too... ...!!! pics are cool ..!! Thanks for keepin me up to date.. \m/

As for the so called "power ballad" .. I never cared for any slow Ozzy song...not even Changes...!! doesnt matter who the guitarist is....his voice still sucks assss.!!
Most of the others.. were listened to for the tail...man it was everywhere...!!!!
The 80s were so different... too bad, alot of its such a blur of smoke and powder...

what am I hearing..? my stomach growlin... I got the munchies waaaay bad..!!

# Sep 6, 2007 @ 9:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LiquidMetal.77's avatar

Member

40. LiquidMetal.77 writes:

sup big daddy! haha. what am i doing here?? damn, you dont sound so happy that im back. lmao

# Sep 7, 2007 @ 5:51 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

41. Diamond Oz writes:

Holy sh** I haven't spoke to you guys in ages! How ya doin'?! Thanks for the compliments on the band godlike! Means alot.

Where you been LM77??? Sweet baby Jesus it's good to have some of the good ol' boys back!

The power ballad is almost a neccassary evil in the heavy metal I reckon. Albums kinda get boring without variation, even that variation is a load of soppy sh**e!

# Sep 7, 2007 @ 6:52 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
42. CrawfordTexasJingoJango writes:

Is that really a zac efron fan? I didn't know they existed. Like unicorns or K-Fed fans.

Oh, and to the mods, I guess you gotta try harder to ban me. I have access to infinite ips so I guess you fags gotta stay on your toes. If you wanna silence me, silence me for a good reason. I hope your page gets hacked REAL soon.

# Sep 8, 2007 @ 9:09 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
43. RockOfAges writes:

People will always hate 80's hard rock acts like Def Lepp or Scorpions, even though they're great bands with more staying power than half of the obscure screamo bands everyone on here always ejaculates over. It's more trendy on a forum like this to trash the mainstream. Whatever. I like Def Lepp and Children of Bodom both. There's room to understand all genres of music, not just a slim margin.

# Sep 9, 2007 @ 1:16 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LiquidMetal.77's avatar

Member

44. LiquidMetal.77 writes:

hey oz! hows it goin with you and that moderating sh*t? i havent been here for awhile cuz it got boring for awhile. and since when were the mods trying to ban Crawford??

o yea, i thought you changed your name ZT. Hows life over on the east coast?

# Sep 10, 2007 @ 6:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

45. Diamond Oz writes:

Everything's good with me thanks. I'm really enjoying being a mod on here. It's great! I can't remember why Crawford was banned but I know there was reason enough. Shame though 'cause he's a great guy. Hows everything with you?

As far as Scorpions and Def Leppard go, I'm not afraid to say I like both bands!

# Sep 10, 2007 @ 6:40 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
slaythedream's avatar

Member

46. slaythedream writes:

i agree with the list cuz ozzys mamma i'm comin home just flat out sucks . it just doesnt feel like the the same ozzy as we used to kno i mean i kno its old but it didnt just .......uhhh .... get my attetion and metallica could of done better with that piece of shiite. o well i didnt make and there still had there fame as for me i dont so i guess i gotta respect it.

# Sep 11, 2007 @ 10:07 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
47. MetalUpYourAss writes:

well i personally do not like the song "crazy train"
sorry to offend anyone.. who may like it..

# Sep 11, 2007 @ 10:56 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
48. MetalUpYourAss writes:

and how the hell does a friggin hsm fan end up on a friggin METAL site?? lol kinda curious on that..

# Sep 11, 2007 @ 10:59 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
49. coldiem writes:

MetalUpYourAss: No need to be so apologetic. You clearly stated it was your personal opinion. If people don't like it, too bad. If they call you out on it, they're just a$$holes.

Crawford: Calling the mods fags and hoping the site gets hacked isn't going to help your cause any. Obviously you care about the ban or you wouldn't have bothered coming back to post that. If you were banned, you should know why and it was probably for good reason. The moderators let a lot of stuff slide on this site.

# Sep 11, 2007 @ 11:59 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
50. Fuck Moderated Comments writes:

like my name I suppose

NP: Warbringer- "Total War" (kinda redundant of a name methinks...)

# Sep 11, 2007 @ 8:15 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
51. Killer Of Emos writes:

Ok only about three of those bands listed are badass...Metallica, Ozzy, and Led Zeppelin...the rest...well....SUCK!

# Sep 12, 2007 @ 6:52 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LiquidMetal.77's avatar

Member

52. LiquidMetal.77 writes:

life is full of sh*t sometimes. other than that im alright. do you still use ur myspace? i finally got one up so maybe ill try and add u later.

# Sep 17, 2007 @ 3:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

53. Diamond Oz writes:

Indeed I do my friend. It'd be better for you to link me to yours 'cause I've got a thing on mine where people can't add me unless they know my e-mail addy.

# Sep 17, 2007 @ 3:20 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
LiquidMetal.77's avatar

Member

54. LiquidMetal.77 writes:

my profile is glitching and i dont know how to fix it. ill tell you as soon as it works and then you can add me.

# Sep 19, 2007 @ 5:40 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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