Just For Fun
Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse
VATNAJÖKULL GLACIER, ICELAND—In an emergency session Tuesday, members of the Supreme Metal Council strongly condemned the increasing use of the metal hand sign in lay society, claiming that its meaning has become perverted by overuse.
Elders of the Supreme Metal Council examine amateur-video evidence of what they are calling "a worrisome trend."
"The metal sign, or 'sign of the goat,' has all but lost its impact as a token of respectful recognition for something truly 'rocking' or 'metal,'" SMC president Terence "Geezer" Butler said. According to Butler, members are upset that their sacred gesture is being used to acknowledge and celebrate "favorable but clearly non-metal events."
Formed in 1972 and comprising 12 of the most revered leaders of the metal community, the council meets annually in its majestic hall atop Vatnajökull, Iceland's largest glacier, to discuss metal affairs. The SMC convened for a special session after Nikki Sixx, Overlord Of Glam Metal Affairs, was sent hard photographic evidence of metal-sign abuse across the nation. Sixx's fellow high priests said they were "shocked," calling it "one of the most serious affronts to metal's integrity since the rise of rap-metal in the late 1990s."
Read the full article at The Onion.
What's Next?
- Previous Article:
The Autumn Offering Reissue Debut Album - Next Article:
Pandemia Part Ways With Guitarist
16 Comments on "Metal Council Convenes On 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse"
3. writes:
Former Contributor
8. writes:
Funny article, The picture is pretty classic....I like the bits about Lars and CC. Funny.
Metal has been convoluted and made joke worthy, restored, and degraded again about 7 or 8 times in terms of eras in the genre's history, many thousands of times in terms of "metal" bands that brought shame to style.....
The concept of a kid throwing the goat when he makes a free throw at basket ball practice is NOT a reason to get upset.
St Anger is a reason to get upset.
Limpbizkit is a reason to get upset.
Avril Lavigne covering a Metallica song she had --never-- heard before is a reason to get upset.
Not this.....
Besides theres some pretty major hypocrisy here. Nikki Sixx (metal by ethos maybe, but not output) wrote a song for a rap-metal band by the name of Saliva...."Rest in Pieces" if my bourbon damaged memory recalls. The next order of buisness should be to impeach him for treason.....
Then get Phil Anselmo relatively sober and elect him.
9. writes:
This only confirms my worst fears. I have even witnessed that buffoon, Britney Spears, using 'The Horns'. Might i remind those of my Metal Brethren that if one sees 'The Horns' being deployed by a lay-person, you may want check whether they are performing the incorrect or the correct version of the sacred symbol.
It was to my great satisfaction that Britney was in fact, executing the highly dangerous INCORRECT version ( with the thumb splayed outwards ).
The thumb MUST be curled inwards at all times, thus making the THREE SIXES ( see the 'Metal Years' movie ).
Failure to correctly place the thumb, will invite great evil into your life, resulting in eventual degenerative desease, disaster, death, or all of the above.
Member
11. writes:
i did some lookin around , and that article is total bullsh**. Butler and co. did not meet on a damn glacier, there is no supreme metal council and this whole thing is f***in fake. anybody who believes this crap is an idiot. go to the article and look at the picture they have posted. you can tell their heads have been added to the picture. f***in bullsh** i tell you.
15. writes:
It's 'satirical,' that doesn't mean 'fake'--it's funny though--I tell my girlfriend that the 'devil' sign is poseur nowadays, made famous by none other than Dio and Gene Simmons. It's an identity thing. Besides, true metalheads know that the thumb goes out, and is not tucked in--"gory claw" and your lip must be raised in the corner like an evil Elvis--the two fingered sign may as well be resigned for posers and thumbless surfer-dudes. But then, you already know this, right?
To minimize comment spam/abuse, you cannot post comments on articles over a month old.
Founder, owner & programmer
1. deathbringer writes:
You have to read the full article at The Onion. Those guys rock, and you can tell they actually have some knowledge of metal to write such a piece as well.