"some music was meant to stay underground..."

Column

Pit Stories: Crowd Surf Fingering And The Avoidance Thereof

Photo of Dead Register

Band Photo: Dead Register (?)

Time for a new Pit Story! After hearing about good karma with a travelling bottle of Jack Daniels and a tale of a missing yet indestructible guitar, this week we hear about a bevy of entertaining live shows from Atlanta outfit Dead Register.

We usually get some odd tales told in offbeat ways, but sometimes, these tales from musicians just absolutely sing with poetic wonder. This is one of those times.

Vocalist M. Chvasta of Dead Register today offers up an awe-inspiring retelling of a string of Jesus Lizard shows, in which girl bits both were and were not fingered, and penis both was and was not seen. He tells the story like this:

One time in the 90’s, I went to a Jesus Lizard show. Some band that sounded like Jesus Lizard opened. Two for one.

One time in the 90’s, I went to a Jesus Lizard show. Some whorish girl wearing super-short shorts wanted tons of attention from men. She would NOT stop crowd surfing, which was totally annoying (like most crowd surfers). She did not have underwear on. Dudes were fingering her girly-bits as she crowd surfed, to her delight. I think I saw Dave Yow’s dick, too.

One time in the 2000’s, I went to a Jesus Lizard reunion show in Nashville. Their tour shirt design was a bag of money, perfectly fitting. My then friend, but now wife and bandmate went with me. We moshed like champions, like it was in the 90’s. She did not crowd surf, nor did she get fingered. I ran into Larry from Pegboy who is a fine gentleman and a wonderful heartfelt singer. Pegboy did not open this show. Pegboy does not sound like Jesus Lizard.

One time in the 2000’s, I went to another Jesus Lizard reunion show in Atlanta. I wore an orange flannel shirt. Like it was the 90’s. Except I did not see Dave Yow’s dick.

Jesus Lizard and Pegboy are not metal.

Fuck crowd surfers.

We appreciate the clarification at the end there Chvasta! Dead Register will release new album "Fiber" on May 7th and two tracks off the release can be heard below. For more info on the band, head over to the Dead Register Facebook profile.

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur splits his time between writing dark fiction, spreading the word about underground metal bands, and bringing you the latest gaming news. His sci-fi, grimdark fantasy, and horror novels can be found at Amazon.

What's Next?

Please share this article if you found it interesting.


2 Comments on "Pit Stories: Crowd Surf Fingering"

Post your comments and discuss the article below! (no login required)

americanpatriot1's avatar

Member

1. americanpatriot1 writes:

Some of these stories are great. Others are just ok. But what I love about these, is the opportunity for new music. I like these guys.

# Apr 27, 2016 @ 12:06 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
ssdd_13's avatar

Member

2. ssdd_13 writes:

I like the one about the Jesus Lizard show, that was cool.

# Apr 27, 2016 @ 1:55 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

To minimize comment spam/abuse, you cannot post comments on articles over a month old. Please check the sidebar to the right or the related band pages for recent related news articles.