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The Rockstar Ramblings: The Future

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

This week we fast forward, picture the year 2020…have the past ten years been good to our aging rock stars? Let’s take a humorous look at what may be…

Axl Rose (Guns N Roses) officially sets a release date for his bands first album since Chinese Democracy. He also goes on to note that he will not be promoting the new album, instead taking the original GNR line-up for what is being referred to as the “Use Your Illusion III” world tour, expected to gross 1 billion dollars…

What is being termed The Las Vegas Recession is still in recovery. After much research it was found that casinos took on too many bets against all four original members of Motley Crue being alive in the year 2020. What has been devastating to sin city has worked out well for the Crue as they have recently bought out both American and United Airlines, making Motley Sky the largest airline carrier in the U.S…

Two words: Governor Ozzy…

Bret Michaels (Poison) television show Reality Idol has received the top network ratings for the seventh year in a row. The only previous show to have as much success: American Idol, ended abruptly in 2011 after the on-air stabbing of Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) by band mate Joe Perry. Bret’s show rates the contestants on catch phrases, sluttiness, and cranium accessories…

A recent press release from Sammy Hagar’s tequila company, Cabo Wabo, makes it official: Over 1 billion bottles of Cabo Wabo tequila sold…

After titles Newark, Camden, Trenton, and Jersey City, Bon Jovi have decided to simply go with the title Garden State for their 20th studio album. They expect to complete the album in early 2021, and will start and end their tour in New Jersey…

For the fifth year in a row, Jani Lane (Warrant) is the third richest man in the world. Ever since the year 2015 when Justin Bieber covered the song “Cherry Pie”, making Lane an instant billionaire, Jani continues the live the good life despite his struggles to record a follow-up to his masterpiece...

You can add Playtex to the list of feminine products now paying royalties to Buckcherry for the use of the song “Crazy Bitch” in their commercials. Ever since 2011 when Tampax first introduced this song to go along with their product, the two (feminine products and the song “Crazy Bitch”) have become synonymous together….

Sebastian Bach (Skid Row) continues his Jimmy Buffet remembrance tour. With Jimmy Buffet lost at sea since 2012 the torch was passed to his last collaborator (Bach and Buffet created an album of rap, rock, and country in 2011 titled Drunk, Tan, and Screaming), to ensure the world continues to sing along to Jimmy’s classics “Cheeseburgers in Paradise” and “Margaritaville”. Sebastian swears he will not stop spreading the word unless Axl needs him to open for Guns N Roses…

Dee Snider (Twisted Sister) on winning his eight Tony Award: “I really didn’t think an eleven week stint with Rock of Ages back in 2010 would lead to the lead role of Mama Mia, but then again, here we are!”…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1 Comment on "The Rockstar Ramblings: The Future"

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1. Jomama writes:

Too funny! What is it going to be like in 2020 pending any apocolypse!

# Oct 22, 2010 @ 11:56 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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