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Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It

Photo of Poison

Band Photo: Poison (?)

During a recovery period that includes several appearances, a return to the stage, and only one week after Michaels took home the reality show title of Celebrity Apprentice, VH1 gives us Bret Michaels new show: Life As I Know It. The show, originally started production in April and was halted shortly after due to Bret’s appendectomy, then followed by his near fatal brain hemorrhage. One show (Monday’s) was completed. Production will continue in June and the show will continue in the Fall of 2010.

In episode one we see Bret in a chair explaining that this reality show will be different than the others, displaying the life away from the rock and roll lifestyle, focusing on his on-again-off-again girlfriend Kristi, and their two daughters Raine and Jorja. The show begins with Bret taking a nap on a couch. Not exactly the initial bang of Rock of Love, but let’s see where this goes, it’s not like the whole show will be Michaels napping, right?

Bret wakes up and is in the kitchen with Jorja, making fart jokes while his other daughter, Raine, tells her mom that dad (Bret) is boring. Bret takes the girls to a place with trampolines; Kristi has a girl day with her friend Julia. Apparently girl day means “scripted conversations” because all we see is the two girls discussing whether or not Bret can commit to a long term relationship, the conversation is forced and does not feel real. I am starting to wonder if the whole show is purely scripted. If so, up to this point it would read: Bret sleeps. Fart jokes. More napping. The only thing interesting is Kristi admitting she goes through a lot of batteries when Bret is on the road.

Back at the house Raine is doing a report on her dad and needs to come up with “What was the worst day of your life?”. After coming up with a very long list that leaves Michaels squirming, Raine agrees to go with the Tony Awards head-shot. Given recent events, I’m guessing Michaels now has a new “What was the worst day of your life?”

Dinner is served and then Bret falls asleep on the couch.

After awaking from his slumber, Michaels gets a call and has to leave a day earlier than initially planned. His daughters are sad he has to go. With Michaels gone to do a show, his youngest daughter, Jorja, decides to put on a red bandana and pretend she is her dad, wishing he was there. The next day, unexpected, Michaels shows up, flying back on his one day off.

What did we learn from the first episode of Life As I Know It? Well, that Bret Michaels likes to nap on the couch, and his girlfriend goes through a lot of batteries. Most importantly we learn that not prayer, hope, nor logical thinking can make the unthinkable happen; instead, just put on a red bandana and make a wish, don’t underestimate the power of a bandana, at least not if your a child of Michaels…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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18 Comments on "Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It"

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Anonymous Reader
1. fifi23 writes:

FYI - Bret's youngest daughter's name is spelled Jorja, not Georgia, and his real (as well as his children's) last name is Sychak.

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 5:06 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

Member

2. brandedcfh420 writes:

I now see it all as a publicity stunt to get people ready for this! zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 5:11 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

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3. Blindgreed1 writes:

fifi23: LMFAO! Apparently you are the one who gives a fvck.

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 5:45 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

4. hellrat writes:

hey, what the hell?

i thought their real last name was Wigdanner??

with the ever increasing spanish-tongued demographic taking hold, i seriously question the wisdom in spelling poor little georgie girl's name that way ;)

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 6:20 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

Columnist

5. Rockstar_Scribbler writes:

Updated. Thanks fifi23...

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 7:01 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
wilco's avatar

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6. wilco writes:

what the f*** wast of f***ing time reading this sh**
nobody cares about this f*** head
only post 1
who believes its the real sh**
damm fool

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 7:27 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
7. RTB writes:

All 6 posts LMAO...
im glad the guy's alive.....i ll leave it at that

# Jun 1, 2010 @ 7:34 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
xDecapitation's avatar

Member

8. xDecapitation writes:

Honestly RTB, I would never wish death upon a fellow human being, but I don't think he counts any more. He's whored himself out to the media to the point where I now classify him as a tool.

I think it might have been a publicity stunt too, I wouldn't put it past the douche.

# Jun 2, 2010 @ 1:12 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
9. Zontar The Munificent writes:

"...life as I know it..."

isn't this clown dead yet???

# Jun 2, 2010 @ 11:38 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
wilco's avatar

Member

10. wilco writes:

post 8 you are damm right
he is just a male whore
and feeling sad for him self
he knows he is done ion the music sceene
dont wish him dead
but do think he is on the way out
and try to old on the last straw
so he still gets some form of fame

music wise what has hew done afhter his poison thing
do think nothing much or am i wrong

# Jun 2, 2010 @ 11:52 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
11. Holy Crap! Lions! writes:

f*** BRET MICHAELS.

# Jun 2, 2010 @ 3:50 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
12. RTB writes:

Cant argue with that xdecap

# Jun 2, 2010 @ 3:51 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
13. catlady writes:

im glad Bret is alive after all he went through so how about chilling out ppl. he still has to support his family!
and he did raise money for a worthy cause , can any of you say the same thing?

# Jun 3, 2010 @ 9:49 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

Member

14. brandedcfh420 writes:

hey trolllady, whoopty frkn do! we are tired of hearing about this has been!

# Jun 3, 2010 @ 11:29 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
15. duncan hills writes:

you just can't flush bret michaels, apparently...

# Jun 3, 2010 @ 1:08 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
16. roses writes:

a desperate attempt to keep bret michaels on the pages of 'who gives a crap!" if i could as a puking smiley here i would, that last 'rock of love' cd sucked and the way i see it, he should go into producing since his writing sucks and he's too old for a comeback. people tune in to watch what a 'has been' is up to, ok, now we know, vh1, get rid of bret and bring back daisy!!! at least she kept it interesting, i mean, she never even had a 'reunion' show. now THAT would bring the ratings back to vh1..... move on bret, we're bored~~ ciao!

# Jun 6, 2010 @ 8:58 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
17. Susie Q writes:

Wow, So what Bret isnt the 1st trying to keep it going.Examples,micheal Jackson,Maddona,Ozzy Ozbourn.Stop being a hater,just cause he is human and loves and misses his family.That makes him real.At least he admits to it and realizes there is more to life than being a RockStar,maybe your family is your biggest fans and the one that matter most.Other than partying,after years of that,even that gets old.Be real, and grow up people.

# Jun 7, 2010 @ 11:08 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

Member

18. brandedcfh420 writes:

Ill be real if brett starts being real! lose the wigdana brett! We all know your hair is falling off! you are not samson, your strength is not in your hair!! by continuously covering up your hair loss only shows you are trying to stay who your WERE not who you ARE!

# Jun 8, 2010 @ 9:21 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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