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The Rockstar Ramblings: Video Marathon

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

Thoughts while watching a video marathon and wondering whether Rob Halford decided to put tattoos on his skull before or after he shaved his head…

Production meeting prior to making the Dio video “Holy Diver”: Okay, so we need an abandoned church, an active steel mill, and a very large sword. Behind the Music: The Dio video props department…

In Guns N Roses “Welcome to the Jungle” Axl is getting off a bus with a very large suitcase. In Whitesnake’s “Is This Love” video Tawny Kitaen packs four pieces of lingerie into a large suitcase. Anyone interested to know the contents (or what for fictional purposes is supposed to be contained in their luggage)? I’m going to go with Hit Parader and Circus magazines for Axl and a pair of Bret Michaels (Poison) jeans for Kitaen. This mystery is right there with what is inside the briefcase from Pulp Fiction...While on the subject of “Jungle”, is Duff ever going to bring back the Bill Walton seventies style headband? I believe I speak for many when I say: I hope so…

Snow is falling, fire is in the background, and the band is wearing T-shirts with sleeves cut off. This is Dokken’s “Into The Fire”, a meteorologist’s worst nightmare…

You can pin at least three fake murders on Alice Cooper during the video for “Teenage Frankenstein”. This doesn’t even include taking out the Frankenstein stage prop. Bonus points though for use of the Uncle Sam USA hat to kick off the video. This is the same hat later worn by Apollo Creed in Rock IV right before he was killed by Ivan Drago. You know what? Is see a link here, let’s pin a fourth fictional murder on Cooper…

Klaus Meine (Scorpions) is shown throwing snowballs in the video for “No One Like You”. Lucky for Meine he is talented musically. Judging from his snowball throwing form, there was zero percent chance of anything athletic as a career…

Best ass kicking goes to the girl playing Axl Rose’s girlfriend in “Don’t Cry”. Axl is at the piano with another woman, the girl comes over and lays her out in one punch. Next, she stands over her and bitch slaps her to the point her head bounces off the floor…

In Dokken’s “Alone Again” there is a scene when Don Dokken is washing his face in a sink and looks into the mirror. It appears this is when he got the idea to team up with Freddy Krueger for their next video…

The hair of Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford in the video “Close My Eyes Forever” is interchangeable…

In Vinnie Vincent Invasion’s “The Boys are Gonna Rock” there is pink lighting, pink guitars, and a pink V stage prop. A lot of pink, I’m just saying…

I find it hard to believe that in Skid Row’s video “Youth Gone Wild” the kids are running on the railroad tracks. If the movie “Stand By Me” taught us anything it’s that this is not a good idea, especially when there is a bridge…

David Coverdale (Whitesnake) comes up a little short in the video “Give Me All Your Love Tonight”. He wears a full leather suit with chains dangling, but opts for white sneakers. So close…

Did Slaughter really need to shoot the video “Fly to the Angels” in an airplane hanger? This has to be a classic “Just let the band making money do what they want” moment…

There are many reactions to circumstances, but I don’t believe raising an eyebrow is a realistic response in Ratt’s “Round and Round” when a plate of rats is placed on the dinner table…

Only the A-Team had more unrealistic fights than Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) had with the female ninja in “Too Young To Fall In Love”…

I always wonder if David Lee Roth, wearing his fat suit from the “Goin’ Crazy” video) was approached to play a character in the barber shop scenes of Coming to America…

The video “Rock N Roll All Night” by Kiss exposes Paul Stanley’s overuse of the Blues Brother style sunglasses. Also guilty during this time: Mike D. of the Beastie Boys and all young actors named Corey…

In the GNR “Patience” video, Duff picks up a room service tray (from his room), takes it down the hall, all the way to the front desk and leaves it there. I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a reason he would do this and have nothing…

The Ultimate Bad Ass award goes to the kid in the Skid Row “18 and Life” video who gets thrown through the glass door and then pushes his friend when he tries to help him up as if to say, “What, you think this is the first glass door I’ve been thrown through!” That is an Ultimate Bad Ass…

I am going to come out and say it, I like Girlschool’s version of “Tush” more than ZZ Top’s version. Yes, I’m taking into consideration the beards…

Did Jerry Seinfeld get the idea for the “Puffy Shirt” after watching the Cult video “Love Removal Machine?”…

Best air piano: Jack Russell (Great White) in the video “Once Bitten, Twice Shy”…

At first glance at the video “Breaking Up a Heart of Stone” you may think you are watching a Vixen video, then you realize the make-up is just done that well, too well…

Ace Frehley’s video “Rock Soldiers” just doesn’t hold up, slightly edging out Keel’s “Right to Rock”…

You have to wonder the choice of Nikki Sixx’s black and white striped body suit in Motley Crue’s “Smoking In The Boys Room” video. Reasons may include: 1. Vertical stripes are slimming? Heroin is more slimming, Sixx had this covered. 2. Trying to capture the Elvis “Jailhouse Rock” look? Possibly. 3. Aforementioned heroin had him out of his mind. Probably…

Y & T’s “Contagious”, a classic eighties video, showing a band with super powers driving a car with a license plate that reads SLICKER passing on their powers to a nerdy kid that gets the girls in the end. John Hughes must have been proud…

If you like balloons and New Jersey you will LOVE Bon Jovi’s “Wild In The Streets”…

Where are they now? Where is the girl in black stockings shooting pool in the Scorpions “Big City Nights” video, the Cinderella girls, and the kid magician from Dio’s “Mystery” video? Has anyone seen these people?...

I finally figured it out. Here’s how to watch Enuff Z’ Nuff’s video “Fly High Michelle”. First, get a good night sleep, second, eat a hearty breakfast, and finally, take a hit of acid…

Why isn’t the red carpet utilized in L.A. Guns’ “Ballad of Jayne”? Seems like pure excess and a waste of resources, actually, sort of sums up the eighties…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1. Diamond Oz writes:

Best one yet.

# Apr 23, 2010 @ 12:19 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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