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Pit Stories: Bleed's Black Fuzz Blood

Ready for another Pit Story ya crazy fuckin' metal heads? This week vocalist Robert Kreed from Canadian horror metal band Bleed discusses the group's namesake, and the many problems along the way to finding the perfect blood:

Robert Kreed: Hey fella! You wanna you how my blood came to be?

Gibbering bystander: ...no...

Robert Kreed: Well fuck you! I'm gonna tell you anyways...

It all started way back when I was getting all my props ready for a big show we were gonna play. Organs, heads, limbs, Jager spewing babies, all good to go. Oh yeah, my store bought blood. Better go grab that from my basement. When I grabbed the bottle it shifted oddly. Like there was something preventing it from splashing inside the bottle. I pop the cap and holy crap! The whole thing was moldy! What the hell? I go grab another jug of blood. Same thing. Gad damn! I go thru all my jugs of blood. Every one of them slimy with bacteria or caked in black fuzz. Show must go on. I sift out as much of the gross shit as possible, collect it in a bottle and off to the venue. I dowse myself, we do our thing, I go home and shower.

To hell with cheap store blood. I'm making my own. For whatever reason, probably being lazy, I'm in a pinch for blood again for another show. I whip up the stupid corn syrup recipe. Absolute shit show. Costumes are sticking to me. Set lists being dragged all over the stage by sticky boots. I do a drinking blood from a horn gag and all that comes out is the thickest sludge of pure pancreas killing sugar muck. Dolloped on my face and chest. Looked cool but I think my teeth shattered from the sweetness. This has got to end. I must find my own blood.

Doing some research on a variety of recipes, I finally found my own mix. Easy to make. NOT STICKY! Has some flavour but not over powering and smells absolutely wonderful. I use maple flavouring and it just wafts around me the entire time I am covered. People have said I smell like breakfast. Pancakes and bacon. Damn rights son! Metal is in our blood and our blood smells like maple syrup! The epitome of Canadian Metal! There was the one time I tried peppermint flavouring for a show. My body felt like it was constantly on fire and I wept the entire set. Ron said I smelt like Christmas but that's another story, christing fuck. So? What do you have to say about that, fella?

Gibbering bystander: ....leave me alone...

Bleed - a 2015 Wacken Metal Canada finalist - has a new album titled "The Hatred Inside" due out on September 29, following a self-titled EP from last year. See what the band does best in the live setting through the clips below.