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The Rockstar Ramblings: Reunion Tours and Hookers

Photo of Ozzy Osbourne

Band Photo: Ozzy Osbourne (?)

It is being reported that Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue, Sixx A.M.) and Denise Richards are no longer dating and have split. The uncomfortable part of this breakup is that they are neighbors. There can’t be a worse feeling than stepping out to grab the morning newspaper, and looking over to see a Porsche in Richard’s driveway with a license plate that reads SHEEN…

Bret Michaels (Poison) and AMA Super Cross motorcycles have teamed up to create an award for those that overcome hardship. The name of the award is “Bret Michaels Rock Hard-Ride Hard Award”. How long before Trojan and Rough Rider condoms makes this award their advertising slogan? In other Bret Michaels news: Dean Guitar has announced that they will be creating a Bret Michaels series of guitars. Given Michaels love of women I’m guessing the models will have names such as whore, penicillin, and Heather. For those still reading, this concludes the Bret Michaels STD comments of the week…

First the arrest at a pub where Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row) was just trying to drink a lot, then his divorce, and now this: He writes/sings a ballad for the Oregon Ducks football team and they go and lose the national championship game. Poor Bach, such bad luck. Let’s put it this way. If you are sitting at a Blackjack table in Vegas and Sebastian Bach is sitting at your table, there is a ninety-percent chance the dealer will have Blackjack…

Apparently Ozzy Osbourne is jealous of his wife Sharon and her gay make-up artist, accusing them of having an affair. This is despite seeing the make-up artist kissing his partner. Ozzy is still not buying it. How does this end? Don’t know, but there is potential for Ozzy using the phrase “shagging” so count me in. On the universal comedy scale, Ozzy using the word shag is right up there with the song “Hip to Be Square” by Huey Lewis and The News as well as any scene from the sitcom My Two Dads…

During a recent interview, Joe Elliot (Def Leppard), mentions a new live album coming soon. Also that the editing process takes “three-four times to make sure nothing bad slips through”. Hmmm. So, only songs from Pyromania will be on the live album?...

Very excited to hear Tesla is making a new acoustic album. They plan to create some new music and rework some old songs. Consider this my vote to modernize the song “Signs” with references to Twitter and Facebook…

A Kronenbourg 1664 beer commercial features Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) performing a slowed down version of “Ace of Spades”. Lemmy is not defending the commercial, instead questioning whether he should have allowed it, openly questioning if he had sold out. I don’t think it’s possible for Lemmy to ever sell out? No, it’s just not possible, unless…

This week’s Velvet Revolver tease comes from drummer, Matt Sorum, who again reiterated that the band is very interested in a well known, heavier lead for their group. The rumors include Lenny Kravitz, Chris Cornell, or one of the Debarge brothers. Okay I made the last one up, but what about Lemmy Kilmister? Okay, the rumor also says the singer is younger so that rules out Kilmister as well as both the Debarge brothers…

Rob Halford (Judas Priest) on discussing the upcoming Priest farewell tour, “We’re not the first band to say farewell”. Well, that is true, but they would be the first to keep their word and not get back together. Oh wait, I forgot. Reunion tours are like hookers in Amsterdam. They don’t count…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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8 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: Reunion Tours and Hookers"

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Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

1. Diamond Oz writes:

I don't understand what's so funny about the word "Shag." It's basically just our version of the term "screw."

# Jan 13, 2011 @ 6:50 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

Member

2. brandedcfh420 writes:

"Rock Hard-Ride Hard Award”. How long before Trojan and Rough Rider condoms makes this award their advertising slogan?"

FKN CLASSIC!!

"Lemmy is not defending the commercial, instead questioning whether he should have allowed it, openly questioning if he had sold out."

ITS ABOUT BEER SO I DONT THINK LEMMY SOLD OUT ON THIS ONE!! LEMMY IS THE PERFECT SPOKESMAN FOR ANY ALCOHOLIC DRINK OR ILLICIT DRUG!! If it was for some lame a$$ product I could see it kinda like that!

# Jan 13, 2011 @ 7:37 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

3. hellrat writes:

1664 is possibly the worst fvcking beer on the planet

Frog beer is out

# Jan 13, 2011 @ 7:50 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Trendkill91's avatar

Member

4. Trendkill91 writes:

Good read man. Made me laugh!

Brother HR - An awesome beer is Uberbrua! I don't know why I think it is so delcious. How have you been?

# Jan 13, 2011 @ 11:21 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

5. Diamond Oz writes:

Lemmy's also done adverts for Walkers crisps and Kit Kats so I don't think selling beer makes him a sell out.

# Jan 14, 2011 @ 8:09 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
n0thinghead's avatar

Podcaster/Writer

6. n0thinghead writes:

lmao at the article, especially the prt of denise richard and the porche license plate saying "SHEEN" lol

ozzy's doing pepsi commercial.

# Jan 14, 2011 @ 8:44 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
hellrat's avatar

Member

7. hellrat writes:

YO TK! i seen ya over on the Porkyboi thread and said hey dude, but ya must have missed it

yessir, all is well up in the North my friend! hope you're good?

when the hell are ya gonna getchur azz up here, anyway?

we all might have a METAL bbq/party this summer at 'Bringer's house (n'head!) :)

Seriously, good to see ya brother! oh ya, there's some good beer talk over on the mayem fest topic :)

Cheers Mate \m/

# Jan 15, 2011 @ 7:39 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
n0thinghead's avatar

Podcaster/Writer

8. n0thinghead writes:

MU BBQ!!! \m/

# Jan 17, 2011 @ 8:45 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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