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The Rockstar Ramblings: Cherry Pie Red Wine

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Band Photo: Motley Crue (?)

While Vince Neil’s (Motley Crue) accuser teams with her lawyer (Neil was accused of attacking a woman in an elevator), Vince is spending time at the grand opening of Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club, posing for pictures with porn legend Ron Jeremy and Bunny Ranch head Dennis Hoff. This answers the age old question: Can enough Tequila make you forget all of your problems and make you feel invincible?...

From the How-Bad-Can-It-Get file…Bret Michaels (Poison) is already in discussions around his next reality show, Rock of Love Boat, where he will be, in his words, a “love guru”. We haven’t even started the season of Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It and already another show? It gets worse…Bret in discussing a new album is saying it will be a country album. Wait, it gets even worse…the title of the album: “Once a Cowboy, Always a Cowboy”. Ladies and gentlemen, now is the time to search for the shower rod and rope, locate the bottle of pills, or find the sharp object of your choice…

A High School teacher in St. Petersburg, FL is feeling the wrath after adding Nikki Sixx’s autobiography, The Heroin Diaries, to their reading list. After complaints the teacher agreed to pull Sixx’s book from the list. Also in the article it was found that the teacher had become under heat for writing the words “Pork Chop” in a girl’s year book. The teacher defended himself by saying these were nicknames the girl used; she apparently even used the name “Pork Chop” for her tests and quizzes. Wait, is this guy for real, or is he like the Steel Panther of High School teachers?...

Sharon Osbourne’s response to Vince Neil referring to her in his new book as “The most evil, shittiest, woman I’ve ever met in my life…she would have you killed if to her advantage…” is simply that Vince Neil is a pathetic 50 year old party boy and a murderer. When I initially heard this, I thought this was a bit strong, but now I see it as really something we already knew. I’m sure in Sharon’s accent it sounds much harsher and more judgmental…

Just when you thought there was nothing else to merchandise along comes the KISS lottery. In addition to shooting commercials for the largest gaming operator in Sweden, Gene Simmons and company can be found on the new scratch off tickets in New Mexico. I believe this will pave the way for Gene Simmons to make his way into the Las Vegas casino business. Let’s hope it works out better for him than it did for Moe Greene…

Reflecting on his career, Bret Michaels stated that “I never did this for the paparazzi factor”. I’m just going to let this sit out there for a moment... Okay. Let’s take a giant leap off a bridge and assume this is true. If so, then the question has to be what was the drive? Leaving love of music out of this I am going with: I did it for…the cameras, the girls, the free drugs, the free bandanas, the chance to bang a red head girl named Lacey (not as many as you’d think), the money, the free bandanas, a chance to find true love by banging twenty girls in one house, to have VH1 by the balls, to show up Flavor Flav, and of course, for the free bandanas…

For all the winos out there…Warrant has just released their wine, Cherry Pie Red Wine. From Napa Valley, CA the wine is said to be a nice compliment to spaghetti, beef, and spicy dishes. I assume it also goes well with classic rock, sensitive ballads, and jailhouse bologna sandwiches...

Hurry if you want to bid on the Tom Kiefer (Cinderella) Barbie doll. Laurie Everton of “The Barbie Canvas” is auctioning off her one of a kind Tom Kiefer Barbie doll. I personally, am waiting for the matching twins dressed in polka dots from all of their videos except of course for the slow, serious songs…

Turning back the clock to 1993, 1995, 1997-1999, 2002, and 2007 an incoherent Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots, ex-Velvet Revolver) ranted to open a show in Texas. Unable to process most of his rambling it is believed he mentioned that he had traded in hard drug usage for boozing. So, what’s next? I would say a Tequila line. This has to happen right? Sammy Hagar, Vince Neil, and even Turtle from Entourage all know the way to stay off hard drugs and branch out your brand is through Tequila…

Is it Fall already? In a recent interview, Slash (Velvet Revolver, ex-Guns N Roses) stated that Velvet Revolver will again begin interviewing for a new lead singer. More on this story expected in October, 2011…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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