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RIAA Admits To Misrepresenting Statistics

Today, the RIAA admitted to purposefully misrepresenting statistics and misleading the public and media. This comes only days after the findings of a Harvard study that found that music downloading has little impact on music sales.

Spokesperson Amy Weiss was unavailable to comment, presumably fired after her own recent comments. However, spokesperson Jackie Brown made only this brief statement, with luggage in tow:

"The ride's been fun. The cat is out of the bag. Those [bleeped] academics have ruined the fun for everyone again. Farewell."

It is rumored that the degree of misrepresentation is much greater than previously thought. Not only were the RIAA failing to tell us with each claim that music sales had been declining every year for the past ten years (well before downloading of music was an issue), but also that their numbers represented only the sales of actual vinyl record sales, and did not attribute said annual declines in sales to the advent of the 8-track, cassette tape, DAT, CD or DVD, much less an increase in CD prices or the state of the economy.

Buckets of unredeemed winning Pepsi caps in the iTunes contest were found near the incinerator in the abandoned RIAA complex, which are expected to be used to settle any complaints against them. Please contact your lawyer to claim your free music downloads as settlement. It is predicted that CD prices will fall to just under $10 and CD singles to around $2 with noone to defend/represent the price-fixing megacorporations.

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2 Comments on "RIAA Admits To Misrepresenting Statistics"

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Anonymous Reader
1. Ryan writes:

Happy April Fools day everyone :D

# Apr 1, 2004 @ 4:55 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. amalthea writes:

*sighs* if only.....

# Apr 2, 2004 @ 3:56 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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