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Rock of Love Tour Bus Episode 4 Recap: The Return of Tequila and Stripper Moves

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Band Photo: Poison (?)

In the beginning of episode four we learn that Maria has been taken to the hospital and will not be continuing. We are not told the cause, but I speculate it has something to do with her missing socks.

The bus rolls on to Chicago and Marcia begins (continues) to drink tequila. She is trashed when they arrive to see Bret Michaels rehearsing. Most disturbing is not the amount of alcohol already inside Marcia, but the view of Big John staring at Bret as he rehearses.

(Speaking of Big John, some questions to ponder: How is Big John paid? In Bandanas? Does he get his hand slapped when he tries to grab a late night Bret beer? OR is he just using this as face time for his own reality show, maybe something called THE SECURITY GUARD where twelve oversized dudes show up and once a week Big John gets to use the catch phrase “you have been bounced”? )

After rehearsal, the girls are introduced to a roadie named Joey who looks exactly as you would expect a weathered roadie to look: overweight, lots of tattoos, and a smile that says despite being well into middle age he is into partying with underage girls. Joey supervises the girls (stares at their asses) as they compete to load a trailer with stage equipment.

The winning team included Ashley and Big Beverly; their prize was VIP treatment during Bret’s next show. VIP treatment in the Rock of Love means lots of alcohol and encouragement to dance like a stripper and rub up against the other girls as much as possible. Ashley nails the VIP treatment. During the show Mindy does her best impression of Big Beverly by standing still and looking bored while trying to convince the others she is a huge fan of Bret Michaels.

After the show the girls continue drinking and partying with Bret’s band (Michaels is unable to stay out), leading to Beverly making out with the blue spiked haired drummer, and Ashley getting incredibly drunk followed by violently ill. She pukes at the casino, in the bus, and then at the hotel. The next morning Marcia is already drunk and Ashley is looking for a garbage can to vomit in.

During elimination Bret asks Big John to leave while he keeps three girls: Mindy, Marcia, and Big Beverly behind. Bret is disappointed that Marcia is putting tequila before him and pissed off at Big Beverly for making out with his drummer. In the end, Marcia gets eliminated, proving the point that you can make out with other dudes just don’t touch my fucking tequila! Rock and roll Bret, rock and roll.

Maria’s parting words: What am I suppose to do when I go to the bathroom and there is a bottle of tequila there?

Eight girls left. Next week the bus heads to a strip club in St. Louis. No joke here, don’t need one.

David S. Grant is the author of Corporate Porn, a novel published through Silverthought Press. His rock and drug fueled double novel Bleach|Blackout, novel The Last Breakfast, and short story collection Emotionless Souls are now available. For more information on David’s writing go to http://www.davidsgrant.com.

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David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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8 Comments on "Rock of Love Tour Bus Episode 4 Recap"

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MetalMartyr.com's avatar


1. MetalMartyr.com writes:

Missed the show last night because, believe it or not there was better things to watch (Sports Soup and WEC MMA). Who needs the show when this recap is much more entertaining.

# Jan 26, 2009 @ 8:59 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
deathbringer's avatar

Founder, owner & programmer

2. deathbringer writes:

Heh, exactly. I was watching the WEC fights as well. In between all those commercials I was posting news here, which is why SO MUCH news got posted last night. It was quite ridiculous how many commercial breaks there were.

# Jan 26, 2009 @ 9:16 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
MetalMartyr.com's avatar


3. MetalMartyr.com writes:

Yeah, it started late too, but the Sports Soup was entertaining enough until it started.

# Jan 26, 2009 @ 11:12 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. cannibal_fucking_corpse writes:

haha i like how it asks if big john gets paid in bandanas, funny sh**

# Jan 30, 2009 @ 1:23 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Jomama's avatar


5. Jomama writes:

I love these recaps, quite amusing.

# Jan 30, 2009 @ 2:57 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
xman's avatar


6. xman writes:

marcia is a ho

# Feb 6, 2009 @ 6:33 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar


7. brandedcfh420 writes:

since you were talking about the WEC, i was glad to see urijah faber lose his belt. im just wondering how mike brown will do in his 1st title defense!!

as for the R.O.L. show, fuk it!!!!

# Feb 6, 2009 @ 6:41 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
SHREDDER13's avatar


8. SHREDDER13 writes:

If there was a "Rock Of Love: With Doro Pesch" I'd instantly sign up for it.

# Feb 6, 2009 @ 8:55 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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