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Interview

The Catch Frontman Captain French Discusses Debut Single, "Sex Shark," Forthcoming Album And "Heritage Fishing Metal"

Folk metal has come a long way over the years. From the folk influences on rock and metal pioneers such as Led Zeppelin, to the start of the sub-genre with the likes of Skyclad and Cruachan. It's even spawned several sub sub-genres such as Celtic metal, pirate metal, oriental metal and so many more. Today however, with the release of their debut single, "Sex Shark," a new sub sub-genre has been presented to the world named "heritage fishing metal" and the people responsible go by the name, The Catch.

With a very impressive list of collaborators (or co-conspirators) The Catch gifts the world something heavy, but also light hearted and frankly... Pretty damn funny. The lyrics to "Sex Shark" are probably best read when no one else is in the house and the video is just as crude and manky as the words that go with it.

To find out more about this bizarre new sub-genre, I was lucky enough to climb aboard the ship of Captain French, who granted me the world's first interview with The Catch.

WARNING: Contains some offensive and obscene language. Not to be taken 100% seriously.

Diamond Oz: So, I've been looking over the words to your debut single, "Sex Shark." I can certainly see why one would write a song about such a creature. Had you heard of the beast before you saw it?

Captain French: Well, it seems like such a long time ago but I feel like I've known sex sharks all my life as I grew up very close to a Catholic church. You see what I did there? I compared the sex shark to rapey priests hahahaha. Anyway, the sex shark is real and has plagued the dreams of my family since a few years after my death.

Oz: I'm not surprised. I'd have nightmares too if a relative of mine was buggered to death by a shark. Where might a suicidal seafarer with a taste for bum fun find such a creature? ... For research.

Captain French: I've only ever spotted the one real actual sex shark off the coast of Vatican City. That's where I go to catch the tuna that the song mentions. It has actual penis's .... or peni? ... as fins so, I don't know maybe it's all the excess holy water coming out of the Vatican into the ocean that made the cocks appear on the shark? Anyway I killed it as it was eating my crew a lot.

Oz: I see! Well, moving on from sodomy somewhat. The artwork for "Sex Shark," is very impressive. How accurately does it portray the beast with phallic fins?

Captain French: Thank you, that was created by a fisherman called Jon Toussas, or as I like to call him 'Jon Two Asses', he loves it when I call him that. I guess the shark is quite big in the picture. In fairness there were no rules with the artwork but I thought the shark would be normal size. When I seen it I was like ... hmmmm, not what I was expecting but I love it regardless. I think it captures a different vibrator of the song than the video and I like that.

Oz: You mentioned a video. Is there an official music video coming to give people a first hand account of this marine molester or are you referring to the video in which you regale a crowd at the Voodoo Lounge?

Captain French: Ah yes, we will have a music video to go along with the release of 'sex shark' on May 14th. It's not so much a video as a documentary of what we went through when we took this quest to find the Vatican Tuna! A camera crew were aboard for the whole duration and filmed everything, even the part where I accidentally inserted a bottle of wine in me bum. That should not have been filmed but what can I say, I'm kinda glad they did. In fact two of the young lads filming me doing that got turned on and started peeing on themselves. We then made love.

Oz: Who was the documentarian who captured this remarkable event on film?

Captain French: There were many documentarians all under the watchful japseye of Andogg Hristov.

Oz: Ah, Bulgaria's answer to Werner Herzog!

Captain French: Weiner Hotdog.

Oz: Of Armor Productions. Now, an experienced fisherman such as yourself must have several stories that don't involve todger toothed sharks. I hear your impressive tackle is famous across ports the world over. Will people be hearing more of your exploits?

Captain French: I have many many tales to tell and all in beautiful lyrical and musical form. Thanks to crazy cats at Despotz records, I'll be making a whole album of these songs. You'll witness seven children die as well as the history of the fishing industry in Turkmenistan.

Oz: Do you have a rough idea as to when this full album of shanties, tales and erotica will be released?

Captain French: Right now I have no clue. If Sex Shark does well .... people like my little ode to a shark... of sex, we may do another single. I have a full album of material so can't wait to share with seven more people.

Oz: Hell, with our promotion it could be eight!

Captain French: That's the spirit!

"Sex Shark" is available now from Despotz Records and the music video in question can be seen below.

Diamond Oz's avatar

Ollie Hynes has been a writer for Metal Underground.com since 2007 and a metal fan since 2001, going as far as to travel to other countries and continents for metal gigs.

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