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"Afterparty Massacre" (DVD)

 - "Afterparty Massacre" DVD cover image

Reviewed by on October 9, 2011

"... if you’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to see a dildo get hammered into a skull, this is definitely the movie for you."

With the lyrical content, dark atmosphere, and blood pumping rhythm, death metal and horror flicks are obviously a match made in hell. “Afterparty Massacre” is the latest sex and gore driven flick to be fueled by extreme metal, and this one has the added bonus of being created by members of an actual death metal band.

To be clear, “Afterparty Massacre” isn’t a “good” movie in any sense of the term. No one should go into this expecting anything resembling likable characters, character development, or a story that’s even worth mentioning. It’s a low-budget, horrendously acted flick with basically nothing going on except tits and blood. For some people, that’s exactly what the doctor ordered, but anyone else probably shouldn’t even bother pressing play.

On the flip side, the movie does have surprisingly high production values, and is leagues ahead of those terrible Bill Zebub horror/metal mashup flicks. Most of the movie has a music video feel, which metal constantly playing in the background and women getting naked and engaging in various sex acts with themselves or each other at pretty much every possible opportunity. The metal itself will certainly please fans of the genre, but how it’s used very clearly shows the movie was a first time effort. There’s no need for blast beats and death screams while people are putting on makeup, driving down the road, bullshitting at the bar, getting a tattoo, buying merch, and so on. In fact the non-stop nature of the metal really lessens its impact during the horror sequences.

The gore is of course the real draw, and “Afterparty Massacre” usually delivers on that front. Various arm and leg dismemberments are done amazingly well, and the blood is always flowing. The sex often gets mixed into the violence, with dildos frequently being used and abused in various disturbing ways. The only really noticeable blunder here comes in the form of a somewhat botched penis mutilation. Yes, having a coat hanger jammed into your pee hole is certainly terrifying in theory, but it fails to shock when the penis is obviously fake and the person undergoing the torture isn’t convincing in any way. The remainder of the effects, like flashback sequences or a victim waking up from unconsciousness, are all handled well and give more of a professional feel than might be expected.

Clearly this flick isn’t for everyone, such as Opeth fans (there’s a constant running gag about how lame Opeth fans are) or anyone who never wanted to see someone poop on someone else’s face. You’ll never care whether anyone lives or dies and you’ll probably yawn through the dialog waiting for the next metal/lesbian/skull smashing scene. But if the idea of an hour long music video is appealing, or you’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to see a dildo get hammered into a skull, this is definitely the movie for you.

Highs: Lots of sex to be had and the gore is handled admirably.

Lows: "Bad acting" doesn't begin to cover it, the constant metal is overdone, there's no actual horror to the torture, and there's entirely too much feces.

Bottom line: Tons of sex and surprisingly good gore, but it's still a low budget, badly acted torture porn with essentially no story.

Rated 2.5 out of 5 skulls
2.5 out of 5 skulls

Rating Description
Rated 5 out of 5 skulls Perfection. (No discernable flaws; one of the reviewer's all-time favorites)
Rated 4.5 out of 5 skulls Near Perfection. (An instant classic with some minor imperfections)
Rated 4 out of 5 skulls Excellent. (An excellent effort worth picking up)
Rated 3.5 out of 5 skulls Good. (A good effort, worth checking out or picking up)
Rated 3 out of 5 skulls Decent. (A decent effort worth checking out if the style fits your tastes)
Rated 2.5 out of 5 skulls Average. (Nothing special; worth checking out if the style fits your taste)
Rated 2 out of 5 skulls Fair. (There is better metal out there)
< 2 skulls Pretty Bad. (Don't bother)