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Anal Cunt - "Fuckin' A" (CD)

Anal Cunt - "Fuckin' A" CD cover image

"Fuckin' A" track listing:

1. Fuck Yeah
2. Crankin' My Bands Demo On A Box At The Beach
3. Loudest Stereo
4. Kickin' Your Ass And Fuckin' Your Bitch
5. Hot Girls On The Road
6. Whiskey, Coke And Sluts
7. All I Give A Fuck About Is Sex
8. I'm Gonna Give You AIDS
9. Yay! It's Pink!
10. I Wish My Dealer Was Open

Reviewed by on October 30, 2010

"From a musical standpoint, the songs on 'Fuckin' A' are basically hair metal schlock meets grindcore and punk, as exemplified by the shout along chorus and lo-fi speed metal version of an arena rock hook of 'Loudest Stereo on the Block.'"

Poetry, thy name is Seth Putnam. The man behind the noise grind piss take machine Anal Cunt has made a career out of satirizing and skewering anything that registers on his 360 degree ire radar, which is pretty much everything, and his latest release, “Fuckin' A,” is obviously no exception. The songs on “Fuckin' A” were reportedly supposed to be part of a longer album called “Wearing Out Our Welcome,” which was subsequently split into two albums, with “Fuckin' A” taking the so called “cock rock” songs and a later release, “The Same Old Shit,” taking the noise grind songs.

The album opens with “Fuck Yeah,” a simplistic three-chord punk track that sees Putnam spewing on about every sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll cliché he can muster in his Smeagol does grindcore voice. The rest of the album, from a lyrical standpoint, keeps its feet steadfast along this path, and the song titles tell you all you need to know in that regard. Does a song entitled “Crankin' My Band's Demo on a Box at the Beach” really require further lyrical analysis? Moving on. With that being said, you can't dismiss Putnam's head on attack on the sexual, misogynist and musical stereotypes that have been rife in the metal community in the past. The only problem is that this attack probably comes about 20 years too late. Maybe that drug induced coma he experienced a few years back sent Putnam into some sort of time warp where hair metal bands are still defiling the barely legal groupies of the world with hotel phone receivers and wine bottles.

From a musical standpoint, the songs on “Fuckin' A” are basically hair metal schlock meets grindcore and punk, as exemplified by the shout along chorus and lo-fi speed metal version of an arena rock hook of “Loudest Stereo on the Block.” Then all pretense goes straight out the tenth story window on “Kicking Your Ass and Fucking Your Bitch,” which sounds like the song was an afterthought, and is merely background noise for Putnam's vitriol. In fact, if it took more than an afternoon to write this album, I'd be very surprised, but that's pure Anal Cunt.

Are there any other touring band tenets to take down? Here comes “Hot Girls on the Road” to cast the final stone. Though just over two minutes long, this track sticks out as one of the catchiest on the album—all punk aggression to go along with hilarious lyrics. You have to enjoy it for what it is. However, songs like this juxtaposed with the announcement that Putnam is going to release a sex tape to promote the album, in conjunction with photos that have been circulated online of Putnam and a more-than-willing female in mid fellatio, blur the lines between bringing down the corporate rock sex god cliché and becoming a part of it, albeit a highly humorous and obviously satirical part of it. Putnam seems pretty easy to figure out; we seem to know he's just making fun of the music industry, as he has done for decades, but how much do we really now about him? Maybe we should ask Chris Barnes or Jamey Jasta.

From there on out the cavalcade of metal comedy marches on the faces of every overdosing, makeup wearing, multiple autobiography releasing shell of an eighties icon with songs that are each more on the nose than the last. “Whiskey, Coke, and Sluts,” with its Venom-esque “Live Like an Angel, Die Like a Devil” sound quality, and “All I Give a Fuck About is Sex”--these are just a couple examples. What more needs to be said? The riffs on all these songs are, more often than not, interchangeable, and could have been written by any three-chord wonder. Aside from Putnam's voice, there's nothing discerning about the music by any stretch of the imagination, and perhaps that's what the band intended all along.

People who enjoy Anal Cunt's unrepentant back catalog and angry grind aficionados who want to blast the mainstream to oblivion will enjoy “Fuckin' A,” while those who don't understand, or don't want to understand, Seth Putnam and Anal Cunt's fractured take on on the modern music industry will dismiss it as the random ramblings of an aging grinder who is finally feeling the effects of his own past overindulgence. The truth about “Fuckin' A” probably lies somewhere between the two.

Highs: "Fuckin' A" absolutely guts every cock rock cliche from stem to sternum.

Lows: Though the album is short, just under 30 minutes in length, it's a long time to tell the same joke over and over again.

Bottom line: Unless you're a huge Anal Cunt fan, pass on this one and wait to see how "The Same Old Shit" sounds.

Rated 2.5 out of 5 skulls
2.5 out of 5 skulls

Rating Description
Rated 5 out of 5 skulls Perfection. (No discernable flaws; one of the reviewer's all-time favorites)
Rated 4.5 out of 5 skulls Near Perfection. (An instant classic with some minor imperfections)
Rated 4 out of 5 skulls Excellent. (An excellent effort worth picking up)
Rated 3.5 out of 5 skulls Good. (A good effort, worth checking out or picking up)
Rated 3 out of 5 skulls Decent. (A decent effort worth checking out if the style fits your tastes)
Rated 2.5 out of 5 skulls Average. (Nothing special; worth checking out if the style fits your taste)
Rated 2 out of 5 skulls Fair. (There is better metal out there)
< 2 skulls Pretty Bad. (Don't bother)