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Pit Stories: Dissension's Toys-R-Us Satanic Sacrifice

Photo of Dissension

Band Photo: Dissension (?)

It's Tuesday, which means the time has come for another Pit Story from those road warriors who get on stage to let the mosh flow for headbangers around the world.

This week's story comes courtesy of Dissension vocalist/guitarist Nathan Afilalo, who shares this tale of a Toys-R-Us Satanic sacrifice:

If you were to go just north east of Montreal’s inner city, there lies a hole in a brick wall. In said whole one finds a shitty ass venue, packed with sweaty teenagers, amateurish gratify, more band stickers than all the hairs in Odin’s beard, and a giant dog who lays equally giant shits on the pit floor. In said venue, there was a heavy metal show taking place. On a side note the venue was legally considered a cafe.

It was at this show that our band, Dissension, decided to incorporate a poorly executed somewhat Ghost reminiscent comedy routine midway through the set. We had our friend come up on stage and perform a demonic gospel sermon, in a deep southern accent naturally, to dimmed lights and a smoke machine we got discounted at Canadian Tire during the Halloween sales. Our drummer was on the keys playing one of his spooky church organ originals (if you can appreciate a drummer playing keyboards then this is very funny). Amidst the terrible music and Satanic proselytizing, our friend took out a baby doll from beneath his cloak which had a upside-down cross painted on its face. The crown went wild for the Toys-R-Us sacrifice as it flew into the pit as our next song began.

The hapless doll fell into the frenzied crowd and we thought, “a fitting sacrifice for the dark Lord,” and forgot about it. However, the end of the night came, the venue lights turned on, and strewn about the shit-stained floor were various members of the doll’s little body. What was most hilarious, however, was that when we went outside in the alley adjacent to the venue, we found the limbless husk of the plastic child lit of fire, with its satanic eyes peering at us from behind the flames. The miniature fire died down and we retrieved the head. It's charred remains are still in our jam space today.

Dissension's new album "Of Time And Chronic Disease" is due out September 10th, and we'll be releasing a song from the album later this week, so keep your eyes peeled! You can also read our recent interview with the band right here, or follow the band's activity at Facebook.

xFiruath's avatar

Ty Arthur is a freelance writer who writes for both entertainment and technical instruction sites. An avid fan of many different forms of metal, he has been involved in reviewing music for several years and is currently a contributing editor for Metalunderground.com

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