Just For Fun
Gord Kirchin Announced As New Nightwish Frontman
After its recent tour with new singer Floor Jansen, Nightwish has decided to part company with her after she went in to get a root canal. Commented Tuomas Holopainen from the band:
"She just doesn't have the dedication we need, taking two hours out of her schedule. We had these problems with Anette getting sick and pregnant. Women just don't have the band's best interests at heart."
The band has decided to do away with female vocalists altogether, recruiting Gord Kirchin as the new singer on its tour. In fact, just like they did with the dismissal of Tarja Turunen over getting married to an Argentine, Nightwish posted on its blog that Gord Kirchin would be the new singer - without even telling him first.
Kirchin, who performed such memorable classics as "Sex with Satan" and "Sodomize the Dead" during his days as the Exalted Piledriver, had this to say: "Yeah, I'll take the gig. I'm on hiatus from Piledriver, so why not? I look forward to being able to sit on my butt during 'Slow Love Slow.' My aching back and age just can't take it anymore. Nightwish needs a bit more muscle. Of course I'm going to interject some of my poisonality to the tune and add some gory lyrics to it. If the band wants to fire me, I have news for them. I'll fire them instead and bring in a whole new band of reanimated dead musicians."
Gord Kirchin belting out "Phantom of the Opera" at ProgPower Europe 2013
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