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The Rockstar Ramblings: Freakshow

Heaven & Earth have just released the official video for the single "No Money, No Love.” The video features magicians, old school working girls, and little people. "No Money, No Love" is featured on the band's forthcoming studio album 'Dig.'

An old-school record spins and an old man in a top hat and mustache lights up his smoke with a very large dollar denomination, this is going to get strange fast. ALERT: There are clown-like characters in this video. One of these characters is on stilts outside a building. He looks up and sees a stacked woman in a body suit hanging out on balcony.

The band, Heaven & Earth, is performing as animated glitter crosses the screen. So far, this whole video looks like a mushroom tripping experience gone wrong. The lead singer is clinging to either a seventies porn star god look or hoping to someday be the spokesperson for white-guy Soul Glo.

Glimpses into the interior of the house reveal we’ve got a whorehouse on our hands. Okay, maybe it’s more high class brothel. Either way…hookers!

A straight laced looking guy in a brown suit is denied entry. Apparently they have a strict “no brown” policy at this little whorehouse. The man is sneaky though and sneaks in, past a stoned Asian man, and then is greeted by a girl riding a guy (not how it sounds – AN ACTUAL GIRL RIDING A GUY) and a portly gal making the “come hither” finger motion. Next scene welcomes more dudes with mustaches and more whores running around. This is how I picture The Roaring Twenties. Actually, this is how I picture everything pre-Internet. ALERT: Fat dude chasing naked girl down the hall. DOUBLE ALERT: Girl going down on dude in handlebar mustache.

Brown suit is back in the picture and is being led down the hall by a little person (we can say that, right?). Inside the rooms are various sex and discipline acts. Everyone is wearing a mask. One room has a lot of spectators, a magician (second to clowns in my book, maybe worse), and the stacked bodysuit woman from the beginning of the video. Clearly, something is about to go down. ALERT: Titty Fire, Titty Fire!

One of the high class hookers leaves the room after she realizes there isn’t enough money to make there. She descends down a staircase and finds the guy in a brown suit thinking brown suit equals money bags. As she approaches he disappears and money falls from the ceiling. Her breath increases as the bills increase until finally she climaxes, falling to the ground, covered in bills. ALERT: Crazy tongue followed by evil grin at 3:58.

What does all of this mean? Simple. It pays to be a hooker, or it at least pays to be a high class hooker…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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