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The Rockstar Ramblings: Casting for Bret Michaels

Photo of Poison

Band Photo: Poison (?)

A couple of weeks ago Bret Michaels (Poison) announced that he is working on a movie about his life. The biopic will take the audience from his roots in Pittsburgh to Hollywood, California. Is this a movie that needs to be made? After two weeks to digest I still have no comment. It does bring up the question of who will play the lead role. Here are a couple suggestions.

CHARLIE SHEEN:
Sheen and Michaels are partners of a production company (presumably the same one funding this movie). The Bret Michaels movie may allow Charlie to go back and channel his inner Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn from his Major League days. Maybe he goes VERY old-school and pulls inspiration from his character on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (known simply as Boy in Police Station). From a promotional stand point this casting choice makes the most sense (Sheen is still a publicity magnet). BUT, IF Michaels is serious on having this project completed sometime in the next decade (and not spend a lot of time in smoke filled rooms listening to Sheen tell stories), maybe not the best choice here.

MAX (Surfer Dude) from TMZ:
Based on look alone, Max could nail the glam character role as well as rock the bandanas. BONUS: His use of the word “Rad” should work nicely and complement the “Awesomes.” Max used to host something called “The Rad Report”, so…you know, playing Bret Michaels may not be too much of a stretch.

VAL KILMER:
The movie ‘The Doors’ was a love it or hate it movie; however, there is no denying Val Kilmer and his morphing into Jim Morrison. Given Tom Cruise’s recent role in ‘Rock of Ages’ it may be time for Kilmer to put the leather back on and remind Cruise who the real character rock star is.

BRET MICHAELS:
In this scenario, Bret Michaels pulls a Howard Stern and plays himself (as Stern did in ‘Private Parts’). Should this (and let’s face it, this is probably closest to the truth) be the way casting plays out let’s hope for a porn star stunt double during the ‘Rock of Love’ years. Obviously I am hoping for a lot of behind the scenes of Michaels plowing through the ‘Rock of Love’ girls.

KEANU REEVES/GARY BUSEY:
Hold on, hear me out. Let’s tell the movie in two parts. The first has Keanu Reeves playing a young Bret Michaels growing up in Pittsburgh and moving to Hollywood, covering the time up until the MTV fist fight with C.C. and break-up of Poison. The second half begins with a weathered Bret Michaels (played by Gary Busey) negotiating his reality show. Wow! A lot of insane second half potential – put this baby on Kickstarter and I’m in for $20! You get a ‘Point Break’ reunion, a young Michaels comfortable with using the words “dude” and “awesome”, AND Gary Busey! This is win/win for all involved, assuming you don’t include the viewers…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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4 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: Casting for Bret Michaels"

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brandedcfh420's avatar

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1. brandedcfh420 writes:

when will this has been just die so we dont have to be infected with any of his dribble again!!??

# Aug 17, 2012 @ 10:30 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Matt_Tuck's avatar

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2. Matt_Tuck writes:

I can't believe that Bret is doing this. Honestly, who gives to s**** about this guy. He was great with poison, but he isnt nearly close to being popular enough to make his own movie. Make a movie of a good band player, like Dimebag Darrell, or Matt Tuck.......

# Aug 17, 2012 @ 10:56 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
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3. kell writes:

bret you love rock roll

# Aug 18, 2012 @ 3:55 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. Tammy Sims writes:

If you want a HIT get PITT, Sorry Charlie Sheen ur not every girls Dream!!!!

# Sep 11, 2012 @ 10:18 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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