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Revocation Members Get Their Stomachs Gang Banged On Headlining Tour

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Drummer Phil Dubois-Coyne from Revocation has checked in with Metalunderground.com for another exclusive look at the band's headlining tour with Cannabis Corpse and Ramming Speed. The previous road report can be read here. Phil had this to say:

"Hey douchebags! Phil here, back again with the final blog of our headlining tour. I know your all getting sick of them at this point, but don’t worry this is the last one until June, so just shut up and read it.

"Well, as I left off last time, we had just gang banged our stomachs with delicious burgers from Kuma’s Korner in Chicago. Unfortunately, right as I was riding the high from that amazing meat orgy, I had a shocking encounter which completely soiled my opinion of the windy city. Now to all you RevoManiacs in Chicago, I mean no offense. I have many a fond memory eating your unnecessarily huge pizzas, and drunkenly wandering the streets of your unnecessarily huge city. BUT, I was never made aware that Chicago houses some of the most insidious, subliminal planting of racist ideologies into young, defenseless minds that I have ever seen. I mean honestly, this is completely unacceptable!

"They’re just kids god dammit! Now many of you may think I’m being paranoid, but I’m just refusing to have the wool pulled over my eyes. You can all go ahead and swallow the blue pill. My moral outrage could only last so long however, because next we were headed to Richmond!

"Not only were we pumped to play Richmond due to not having played there since 2010, but it is also Cannabis Corpse’s hometown, so it was guaranteed to be a killer show. Sure enough, the show ripped huge amounts of ass! Not in the biological sense though, I just mean it was really fun. We got to catch up with a bunch of old friends, and play tons of badass old arcade games that they had in the venue, Strange Matter. Fucking rad club. Now as fun as it has been to tour with our Boston homeboys Ramming Speed, it’s a little weird not having their singer, Pete 'Road Dog' Gallagher, doing merch for us, which he has been doing for a while now. Even though he’s not expected to be there, Pete is such an awesome dude that he still comes by our merch table just to attract attention for us by 'putting out the vibe.'

"Who can resist being gravitationally pulled towards that slab of pure man? He’s like a bug lamp for crumb bums. After a hazy night with our good buddy Ryan Parish (Iron Reagan, ex-Darkest Hour, and a million other bands), it was time to start heading back up North.

"Next up was Baltimore, so time for more hanging out with old buddies! At this point it feels like we have friends in literally every city we go to, which is great for a social butterfly such as myself. This time our good buddies in Misery Index came out to Sonar show some love, but unfortunately we didn’t have time that night for a proper bro-down. Next time boys. Philly was up next, but this time we were not able to fit in a cheesesteak run L. Oh well, you can’t win em’ all. We did get to kick it with a bunch of buddies from Relapse however, so the trip was not in vain. The show was great, but the pit got a little intense, even for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good old violent mosh pit, but I almost got seriously hurt!

"I guess a show really can’t be too wild. The best part of the night was after our set, the venue, Barbary, turned into a Michael Jackson/Prince/Madonna dance night. Fucking sweet! Most of you probably don’t know this, but our very own David Davidson cuts quite the rug, and after a few G & T’s he was firing up those hammys like it was 1999.

"After Philly was an inevitably awesome show at Saint Vitus in Brooklyn, NY. We had all been looking forward to this show for quite some time, because we always have raging shows in NYC. Sure enough, the show sold out and we had one of the funnest nights of tour! The groupie horde was exceptionally ravenous at this show, and our rockstar ego’s were as enlarged as the breasts we have been constantly signing while out on the road.

"Who says you can’t get laid playing metal? After the show we all headed over to Duff’s to kick the shit out of our livers. When we got there we even ran into a few people from the show, whom apparently had wasted no time getting comfortable.

"Always a good time at Duff’s. After NYC was our final show at Championships, in Trenton, NJ. Once again we got to kick it was some old friends, and everybody made the best of the night, knowing it was the last. I think there was a general sense of blue balls among the bands, because we were just getting into the flow of tour, and having an exceptionally good time with this package. That’s what she said. Oh well, it will certainly not be the last time we cross paths with these dickheads. It was a great time guys, hope to do it again soon!

"And for the rest of you, see you in June!"

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4 Comments on "Revocation Posts New Headlining Tour Blog"

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Anonymous Reader
1. you have herpes writes:

you guys blow d*** chunks in trannys eyes

# May 8, 2012 @ 1:55 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. Locke696 writes:

that's two main page features on the same band about 1 or 2 weeks apart, f**k man, camera whores or what??

# May 9, 2012 @ 11:37 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
coldiem's avatar

Member

3. coldiem writes:

Well, if you actually read the last post, you would've noticed how it mentioned that it was an MU exclusive tour blog that the band was running. This article mentions it as well, but anyway... Load the ol' insult guns.

I like it, a candid look at a band on tour that doesn't seem manufactured. I fully admit, though, that I have loved this band since before they released their first album so I may be a bit biased. Keep it comin'!

# May 15, 2012 @ 4:19 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Rex_84's avatar

Writer

4. Rex_84 writes:

I talked to the band when they toured with Children of Bodom. We did a short tour report. They were cool guys and they made me laugh. These MU exclusives make me laugh, too. I like their pictures and unique perspective about the happenings around them. It's probably a lot of fun touring with these guys.

# May 16, 2012 @ 1:36 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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