Metal Underground.com

Column

The Rockstar Ramblings: Dysfunction is my Business

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

Steven Adler (ex-Guns N’ Roses) is back with his new band named Adler and a new single titled “The One You Hated.” The band insists that the band is about a man/woman relationship and not what we all assume: heroin. Of course, I guess it could be about Axl Rose as well, or maybe the song is about Steven from the mindset of Celebrity Rehab’s Dr. Drew. Either way you look at it, Steven has an impressive memory catalog to pull inspiration from…

Apparently the whole “hair band lullaby” series continues, the latest from Jammy Jam’s features ballads from Poison (“Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”), Motley Crue (“Home Sweet Home”), and many more including an eye opening “Lay It Down” from Ratt. I believe I speak for many when I say, if this is the direction and the band you were looking to represent, “She Wants Money” would have been a much more entertaining choice…

Great White band mates have announced that they are now countersuing Jack Russell for lip syncing and becoming dependent on pain pills during their last tour. MOVE over L.A. GUNS, you are no longer the most dysfunctional eighties band!...

Speaking of L.A. Guns, they have released a track listing to their upcoming new album and features a song titled “You Better Not Love Me”, how strange would it be IF that song was written by Phil Lewis about Tracii Guns? Would that move L.A. Guns back in first place of the dysfunctional band rankings? I don’t think so (I would like to see how the Great White lawsuits play out), but I’m willing to discuss…

In a recent interview Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen) admitted that the new album is the first time he has ever recorded sober. In a related statement, it was also the first time there were only 3 other band members in the recording studio, instead of the usual 6 he would see before…

Mark Huff, who was hired by Quiet Riot to replace Kevin DuBrow on lead vocals was fired “on his deathbed” after a brush with death. He found out from the hospital, via the internet that he was ousted from the band. In an unrequested response, Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses) has sent a 5000 word essay to the L.A. Times detailing that he does not have an opinion on the matter, but expects to get blamed because he always gets blamed for everything…

This month Ted Nugent shocked the world by making a political statement and having people actually care what he said…

‘Living Like a Runaway’ is the title of Lita Ford’s upcoming album that she plans to support on the road with Def Leppard and Poison. The tour is being named the “Rock of Ages” tour though it is rumored they kicked around the name “Bam, Glam, and Thank You Mam!”, but Def Leppard didn’t have a song by that name…

Ratt rumors are circulating that Juan Croucier may be rejoining the band. The band continues to write songs for a new studio album as well as work with Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters on another project. Allegedly, the band has set two goals: 1. Write and record a new album and 2. Make sure “She Wants Money” is on the next Jammy Jam’s compilation…

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.