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The Rockstar Ramblings: BBQ, Needles, and Vans

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

Fresh off their “occupy Hard Rock” stint in Vegas, Motley Crue is back in the studio recording a new song. Vegas odds that the words “Hard Rock” are included are 2 to 1. Odds that Nikki Sixx and company will rhyme “cock” with “Hard Rock” is even money…

Ted Nugent, Styx, and REO Speedwagon have announced “The Midwest Express Rock and Roll Tour.” Expected percentage of fans to arrive on a motorcycle is 92%, percentage that will eat BBQ prior to the show is 96%, and a surprising 90% will arrive to the show riding a bike and eating BBQ…

A new SUPER GROUP has been formed and it includes Gene Simmons (KISS), Joe Elliot (Def Leppard), Sebastian Bach (Skid Row), and ex-Guns N’ Roses/Velvet Revolver members Duff McKagan, Matt Sorum, and Gilby Clarke. The plan is to play songs by the bands with vocalists Elliot and Bach splitting the front man duties. Given the collective ages, there is also the theory that Gene wants to keep a back-up lead singer in case one of them pulls a muscle, or leaves mid tour to join a reality show...

The release of “Metal to The Children”, Zakk Wylde’s new book is set to release soon. The book promises tales of debauchery as well as tips on making it in the business. Rumor has it one of the tales details how to drink twenty five beers and use the 320 page hardcover book to knock out the bartender…

Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) has settled a law suit with a former assistant. It has been reported that the settlement was for 400K, a high sum, but enough to keep Pamela Anderson (friend of the assistant) out of court discussing how she contracted hepatitis C from Lee by sharing a tattoo needle. Lesson as always: Invite your assistant next time you go out for a tattoo…

Lemmy (Motorhead) is urging fans not to buy his new box set, explaining that there is nothing new and just a way for the record company to make more money from fans. In related news, Gene Simmons is rumored to release the new KISS van…

Bret Michaels (Poison) is suing the Tony Awards for 50 million dollars, claiming the incident was intentionally broadcast to exploit Michaels. Never one to exploit himself, Michaels was allegedly overheard saying, “How did I settle on 50 million? Because it is equal to the value of 1000 KISS vans”…

Finally, Slash (ex-Guns N’ Roses, Velvet Revolver) has released the track listing for his upcoming album Apocalyptic Love. With no explanation its fun to speculate whether “One Last Thrill” is in reference to the rock and roll hall of fame; also tracks “You’re a Lie”, “Not For Me”, and “Shots Fired” could be targeted at an individual. Not naming names, but feel free to gossip…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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6 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: BBQ, Needles, and Vans"

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Anonymous Reader
1. Pepi G. writes:

SLASH, hes one of the few rockstars,who steps back and like Astbury from the Cult, and Axl,are their own person,these Rockstars,arent swayed by the herd,they arent CHEAP MEAT,on a SLAVERY MENU,always a song title and new album,APOCALYPTICAL LOVE,to defend against a NEW SCENE run by FAKES with STOLEN SHOES,and f***ED UP SCENARIOS,and uncool girls that just arent real,SLASH, AXl,ASTBURY,cant be bought,they dont betray their friends or lovers for quick cash.

# Mar 9, 2012 @ 1:54 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. Nymphaea of Carnal Flower. writes:

,Perfect PUNK Politics is for me- like the main cast of RUMBLEFISH,they cant really be bought to betray,but they can have a lot of fun pretending to,they had better not be cheap meat on a f***ed up Slavery menu,, and like i,.they sprinkle a little vocal deception,musicians like SLASH,AXL,M.A,DANZIG,ERYl/ HOT CHOCALATE, ASTBURY,HENDRIX,DOORS,ZEPPELIN,STONES,FIFTY,NELLY,RUN DMC,BEATLES,BACH,SEX PISTOLS,SABBATH, street-wise,like the harlem-globetrotters,one must know how to shuffle and shine on the sidewalk.not only on the sunny-side of the street. Thats real Meritocracy..and ive got it.Whilst in Politics, i truly admire President Obama,i knew he would become president long before anybody else.Real leaders in any given field, all have the ability to stand back from the frame,to see the art in the picture,to see its real war+ how its painted, half-moon, magic seals,...surrounded by butterflies,ravens+ rainbows....reminding me of my butterfly net,i truly earned. Nymphaea lavina,of Carnal Flower.

# Mar 9, 2012 @ 5:09 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
3. PEPI GAMBINO writes:

Auditions for Nymphaea's Death Metal band CARNAL FLOWER,will commence in Sept 2012, and will include participation from incarcerated drummer COSIMO,. NYMPHAEA who was recently released from an italian jaol says sometimes barriers are not boundaries.

# Mar 9, 2012 @ 5:44 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. Vote 4 SLASH writes:

Provocative secret forgotten first wife of Skid Rows,Sebastian Bach,Nymphaea,was said to be fed up with BAZ interrogating her to find out if she fancies his friends.The elusive starlet admitted at first she was hopeful Sebastian was trying to get a date with them for her,but then she realised he was jelous.Apparently the sexy-siren who once took to arranging dates 4 Baz with fans of his on his previous tour of South America,starting at the Airport in Venezuela,where she instructed girls to keep him for at least 2 nights,just so she could have sex with a handsome venezuelan actor she met at the airport.Musician friends claim Baz frequently refers to her as a SLUT,who climbs into CARS with strangers.We recently asked her if she has any comments on Slash running for office,her reply was,"All Slash needs is the American Flag as his backdrop,then a sexy picture of him wearing a crombie and two-tones brogues,a havana cigar,hanging from his mouth,and a gun that hangs the words,"Your Voting For Me",and he's there!

# Mar 10, 2012 @ 5:04 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. apoc writes:

We must correct some location,the above was not in venezuela but columbia,but the guy she got in the car with was venezuelian,now i must find out who!

# Mar 23, 2012 @ 6:34 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
6. ALEISTER CROWLEY magickal teachings reunite Sebastian Bach with SKID ROW. writes:

Sebastian Bach of Skid Row had a magickal secret very first wife from 1986,Nymphaea, was a graded Thelemite in the occult Crowley order O.T.O. It is known she wanted Sebastian to reunite with his former band,and had spoken the Skid Row banner was talismanic,Sebastian will stand before his rightful band sigil once more.

# Apr 1, 2012 @ 8:51 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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