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The Rockstar Ramblings: American Idol and Glee

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

While out promoting for Amercian Idol, Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) was quoted saying “American Idol is not rock n’ roll”, “American Idol will take Aerosmith up a few notches”, and that “Joe Perry is a loose cannon”. This was all in one interview! In related news, Tyler mentions he can’t find Joe Perry. He’s hiding Steven, waiting for all of this to go away. You can remove your head from Ryan Seacrest’s ass. He’s not in there…

This week’s Entertainment Weekly featured an interview with Slash where again he acknowledges his band, Velvet Revolver, is getting ready to announce their newest singer. This week’s rumored lead man: Sully Erna (Godsmack). Slash also mentioned that Guns N Roses has turned down the television show Glee when approached to use their songs. What songs did they want to use? We will probably never know, but here are a couple possibilities:

1. The kid in the wheel chair develops a taste for the junk and belts out Mr. Brownstone.
2. The kid who is gay singing My Michelle after a bitter cat fight with a cheerleader named Michelle (bonus if the cheerleader’s dad actually works in porno).
3. The Glee teacher has had enough of the cheerleader coach that wears the track suits (like the ones Run DMC used to wear) and sings Back off Bitch.

Of course this only works if these characters actually exist. Since I haven’t ever seen this show I can only go on assumptions…

Bret Michaels (Poison) has been named People Magazine’s Survivor of the Year and Fox411’s Celebrity of The Year. If only Brett smoked cigars, then he could be in the running for Cigar Aficionado’s Man of The Year and be the first to win this prestigious Triple Crown of awards. I say this would equal baseball’s Carl Yastrzemski’s Triple Crown feat of 1967…

After twenty years it is finally here. Nelson is releasing Lightning Strikes Twice, the sequel to the album After the Rain that gave us the song “(Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection”. When asked for comment, Guns N Roses front man Axl Rose (allegedly) responded: “Twenty years? I can top that, just wait!”…

Anyone else predict the new Whitesnake album would contain songs titled “Love Will Set You Free” and “Steal Your Heart Away”? I know someone owes me $20…

The idea to have statues in Stoke-on-Tent, a city in Staffordshire, England, to recognize local born rockers Slash (Velvet Revolver, ex-Guns N Roses) and Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) was sadly shot down. Neither seems too bothered, of course both will feel an emptiness next time they tour through the city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin where they will find that even The Fonz from Happy Days has a statue…

L.A. Guns founder, Tracii Guns stated that his band will be releasing an acoustic album titled “Acoustic Gypsy Live”. The news of this release pleased half the L.A. Guns fans who can be heard screaming FUCK YEAH!, versus the other half, screaming FUCK OFF, while still supporting Phil Lewis’ band version of L.A. Guns. If you think about it, this L.A. Guns rivalry has really turned into the glam band version of Miller Lite’s LESS FILLING, TASTES GREAT debate…

THE LINE OF THE WEEK comes from Phil Collen of Def Leppard in response to (other Def Leppard) guitarist Vivian Cambell’s claim he doesn’t get any good solos. “Because it’s all my shit!” Responded Phil. Done and done. Pick up your guitar strings and go home Vivian…

Vince Neil (Motley Crue) has been given a two week jail sentence for his latest DUI. Of course, Neil gets off easy, being allowed to serve his time in house arrest. Prior to serving his time Neil will be sure to stock up on needed items. His grocery list includes: a case of tequila, case of condoms, first season of Hung on DVD, and more tequila. This differs from the list if Neil had to spend time in the slammer. That list would simply include a rope for the soap and his harmonica…

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David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1 Comment on "The Rockstar Ramblings: American Idol and Glee"

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Metal_loving_asshole's avatar

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Long ago, before I first got into Metal... Years and years ago, the first band that got me into rock (then eventually metal) and music altogether were Aerosmith. To this day I still listen to every album recorded by those guys and have since seen them twice. As true metal fans know, even though the band ain’t metal, they were once an influence on just about everybody.

However, when I heard Steven Tyler was replacing that Moron Simon c***ing Cowell, on the biggest, dumbest, cheesiest, most commercial and boring show on TV - American Idol... I found it hard to admire Steven Tyler as much as I did when I was younger. :-(

But I gave him a chance and watched a few auditions (part of the entire damn show possibly a tad bit entertaining,) but instead found it painful. Just painful. One of my most favourite singers - Subject to sitting in front of retards alongside other retards on a show run by retards watched by millions of retards. Including me.

The fact that Steven voluntarily put himself on the show indicates that he's sold out bigger than any other rockstar (Ulrich included) by being a host on mainstream bullsh**... Unbelievable. He’s already loaded, ‘Smith were (and in many cases, still are) one of the biggest, most influential bands on the planet. Why the f*** do they need to be bigger? Most probably due to Steven’s age-old conflict with Joe Perry. I’ve been told Joe’s been on the show before (in fact the band were even in that piece-a-sh** movie “Be Cool”), but I can’t see Joe selling out as much as Steven, he’s too cool to be an attention-whore.

However, I've defended Aerosmith time after time and I'll do it again now - Even though they've sold out countless times, Aerosmith are still a good band, good enough to have gotten me and many others into music. And even if the lead singer's making a fool out of himself on mainstream TV, at least he's recorded some brilliant classic hard rock records. Maybe he’ll never do that again, with the band, at least. But at least at one time in his life he did. And that’s something to shout about.

On a short note, I just think he’s getting senile and the years of drug abuse has turned him into thinking he’s some big money-mad super-celeb. Oh well…

Glad Guns 'N' Roses stopped f***in' gayass Glee from using their songs (seems like Axl's not all too mad after all, good to know). They've already milked one of Journey's staples and ruined it forever. For me, at least.

\m/ -- \m/

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