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The Rockstar Ramblings: Prostitutes and Beards

Photo of Ozzy Osbourne

Band Photo: Ozzy Osbourne (?)

After eighteen years of marriage Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row) and his wife are getting a divorce. Not shocking considering the two have been separated since April, but the real question: what are the odds Bach left a red wine stain on the divorce papers? Fifty percent? Eighty percent?...

Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) continues to promote his new book and album titled “This is Gonna Hurt” by releasing a trailer this week. After viewing this I am looking forward to a story about prostitutes (or S&M veterans) from the fifties that lurk in dark places and are exposed to something called Pulvis Hydrasis, that when mixed with prostitutes, grows horns out of their heads. Intriguing. Can’t wait...

It appears that American Idol judge, Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), will be on the upcoming ZZ Top tribute album. No word as of yet whether Tyler will be only on vocals or also critiquing their music. Also, no word on whether he will be growing a beard for this tribute event…

Duff McKagan (Velvet Revolver, Loaded, ex-Guns N Roses) can now add ESPN columnist to his resume. So Duff McKagan gets to play bass for Guns N Roses, party on the edge for years and live to tell about it, join/create Velvet Revolver with major success, keep his pet project Loaded together, and write for both Playboy and ESPN? I guess Rod Stewart was right: Some guys DO have all the luck...

Vince Neil’s (Motley Crue) DUI court date in Las Vegas has been pushed back because a new judge has been appointed specifically for these cases. After further research it turns out the “specific” nature is DUI cases, and not aging rock stars. For a second I thought the honorable Gene Simmons (Kiss) was going to preside…

It has now been a couple years since Velvet Revolver split with Scott Weiland, yet they insist they are going to continue and are once again teasing their fans with news that they are close to finding a replacement. Careful, a couple more delays and the guys will be moving from fashionably late to “Chinese Democracy Is Coming Soon” type late…

Gilby Clarke (ex-Guns N Roses) will be showing off his 1965 Harley-Davidson motorcycle at the Easy Riders Bike Show Tour. Nothing puts a hop in my step more than rock stars showing off their bikes. How about also inviting the girls from Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” video? Sort of a ‘where are they now’ distraction, or train wreck. I guess the band’s bikes could be included as well…

“Bring Metal To The Children”, Zakk Wylde’s (Ozzy Osbourne, Black Label Society) upcoming new book takes the reader on a behind the scene look at debauchery on the road as well as how to make it in the industry. The book starts off with a “true rocker test” to see if the reader is metal enough to read his book. If the reader fails he is instructed to hand over the book to someone who is more metal. If I had to guess some of the questions (answer YES to two or more and you fail):

1. Have you watched Bon Jovi’s video “Living On A Prayer” more than once?
2. Do you own the cassette single of Winger’s “Seventeen”?
3. Is your name Bret Michaels?
4. Do you ONLY own Metallica albums AFTER the “…And Justice For All” album?
5. When you hear the words: The Nelsons, do you picture a band singing a song titled “After The Rain”?

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1. Blindgreed1 writes:

I'll have to check out Zakk's new book. Nice peice as usual Dave.

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