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The Rockstar Ramblings: Christmas Edition II

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

Tis’ the season, it’s that time of year again. This week we take a look and see what our aging rockers are hoping for under the Christmas tree…

Vince Neil (Motley Crue): One of those inflatable donuts to ease the pain from the falls during Skating with The Stars; also used to sit in timeout and think about what he did…

Axl Rose (Guns N Roses): Legal pads – lots and lots of legal pads…

Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row): A new set of wine glasses…

Bret Michaels (Poison): True love, not with a girl silly! A new VH1 reality show…

Gene Simmons (Kiss): A city named Kiss where everything is branded under the Kiss name and everyone is part of the Kiss army. Kiss bagels, Kiss cigarettes, Kiss meatball subs, Kiss prostitutes, etc… You get the point, not exactly a stocking stuffer…

David Lee Roth (Van Halen): Patience. A must have gift if Roth is going to tour with Eddie for a summer…

Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen): Patience. A must have gift if Eddie is going to tour with Roth for a summer…

Slash (Velvet Revolver, ex-Guns N Roses): A non-knife slashing Fergie. Actually, I think this is what everyone wants. Unfortunately I don’t believe this exists; there are only knife wielding versions available…

Ozzy Osbourne: For the man that has everything? Ear Plugs. He is after all married to Sharon…

Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi): For Bruce Springsteen, James Gandolfini, and the cast of The Jersey Shore to call and decide to tour across the country, promoting their beloved state of New Jersey…

Steven Tyler (Aerosmith): Several large bags, plastic-mesh-burlap, anything that can hold large amounts of money…

Josh Todd (Buckcherry): A new tattoo (I’m assuming)…

Dee Snider (Twisted Sister): To remember his lines during his New York Broadway runs of Rock of Ages. There would be nothing worse than for Dee to utter “I Wanna…” forget, and have to scream “Line!” only to find the next word to be “Rock”…

David Coverdale (Whitesnake): For the next VH1 special to not discuss Tawny or his hair when discussing his legacy, but rather focus on his ninja like stage moves...

Stephen Pearcy (Ratt): More pins and patches for his jackets…

Michael Sweet (Stryper): For his wife to allow him to use the name of her organization, Hookers for Jesus, as the name of his next album…

Joe Elliot (Def Leppard): Find someone other than Keith Richards to become his older than 60 but still wear ripped jeans mentor…

Sammy Hagar (Chickenfoot, ex-Van Halen): Tequila (I’m assuming)…

Jani Lane (ex-Warrant): To have the television show Glee decide on a Warrant episode where they sing “Heaven”, “I Saw Red”, and of course, “Cherry Pie”…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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