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The Rockstar Ramblings: Slashed Slash

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

Slash and Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas released a video to their song Beautiful Dangerous. Here’s a recap from my initial viewing:

The song starts with Fergie, looking very slutty rolling around her bed, inside a trashed apartment. There are pill bottles everywhere and Slash is playing guitar on the television. She moves to the television, straddles it, and fucks the TV. After, Fergie decides to shower and change into “going out” clothes. Interesting note is that her going out clothes may be more slutty than the panty/rip shirt combo she was initially rolling around (and fucking the television) in. Time passes, Fergie is now out. She is in the audience while Slash performs on stage AND also at a strip club. The only way I believe this is possible is that Fergie is playing a Hooker superhero and her special power is looking slutty in two places at once. Side note: This is my new favorite superhero. Eventually she meets Slash in the strip-club and spikes his drink. Next scene Slash is tied up back at the trashed apartment and is being dry humped by Fergie. While simulating sex Fergie removes Slash’s hat (a definite no-no) and puts it on. Of course the guitarist is helpless so all he can do is allow Fergie to continue to hump him while wearing his hat. Then, logically, she pulls out a knife and cuts him across his chest. My overall impression is that despite being drugged and slashed this still has to be considered a pretty good day for Slash…

In other news…Alice cooper lost his luggage over Halloween. He was overheard explaining the contents that included syringes, skulls, and skeleton limbs. Is there anyone with stranger contents in their luggage? Maybe Bret Michaels (Poison). BM: “Let’s see there was a red one, black one, white one…” Customer Service: “And all of these are bandanas?” BM: “Correct”…

This week’s word of the week is: presumptuous. As in, The Nelsons title of their latest album “Lightning Strikes Twice” is quite presumptuous of the band…

This week it was announced that Vince Neil (Motley Crue) will be one of the contestants on the Dancing with the Stars sequel, Skating with the Stars. Burning Questions: Did Bret Michaels turn this down? Given he’s Canadian (assuming all Canadians are great skaters), how pissed is Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row) for not being asked? How fast did Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi) hang up the phone when they called?...

Gene Simmons (Kiss) is threatening to sue the hackers that hacked his website. The damages? I’m assuming lost sales of action figures, T-shirts, etc…as well as several page views of the Kiss Coffin with viewers placing it into the shopping cart, but then deciding against the actual purchase…

The band AC/DC is coming out with trading cards this November. Too bad they didn’t start this sooner. A Bon Scott rookie card would have to be considered the Honus Wagner of rock trading cards…

Bret Michaels revealed that VH1 wanted Michaels to continue his Rock of Love series with a show titled Rock of Love Boat; instead he opted to go with Life As I Know It. Given the low entertainment value of his current show, I’m assuming VH1 will dictate his next reality show. If Rock of Love Love Boat isn’t in the works then maybe a six-week show that shows Bret training for a fight with Billy Ray Cyrus, the mullet head whose wife Bret ‘allegedly’ slept with when they were still together. Rock of Love vs. Achy Breaky Heart! C’mon VH1, make this happen…

Rolling Stone magazine has picked up Ozzy’s health column. Topics covered have included vertigo and a mother who caught her son surfing porn sites. For the vertigo response Ozzy relayed a story of when he thought he had vertigo, but instead the Dr. told him no, he was just very drunk. Not sure how much help that story was. Regarding the son surfing porn? I’m assuming Ozzy suggested using a Firefox browser, usually faster than IE…

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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9 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: Slashed Slash"

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Anonymous Reader
1. kathy writes:

Bret michaels was born in Pittsburg, PA. That makes him a citizen of the USA. Get the facts before you make fun of someone. His girfriend, Kristi is Canadian if that helps your article. GET VERIFIED INFORMATION BEFORE YOU MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF!
Thank you,
kathy

# Nov 5, 2010 @ 4:13 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. gtse writes:

^
Looks like someone overreacted.

# Nov 5, 2010 @ 11:45 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Diamond Oz's avatar

Senior News Correspondent

3. Diamond Oz writes:

He said that Sebastian Bach was Canadian, not Bret Michaels.

# Nov 6, 2010 @ 8:31 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
deathbringer's avatar

Founder, owner & programmer

4. deathbringer writes:

Wow. Reading comprehension FAIL.

# Nov 6, 2010 @ 5:11 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
5. ian writes:

thank you presspass. its about time someone honoured ac/dc with a set of trading cards like they have for the beatles, the stones and countless other bands and musicians. well done.

# Nov 18, 2010 @ 8:06 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

6. Blindgreed1 writes:

Kathy's just b****y because she didn't make the bloopers cut on Rock of Love.

# Nov 18, 2010 @ 4:37 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
OlafBerzerker's avatar

Member

7. OlafBerzerker writes:

its ok Kathy , i still love you........ 2 poop on ; )

# Nov 18, 2010 @ 7:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
livingDeaDbeat00's avatar

Member

8. livingDeaDbeat00 writes:

Why does Slash always wear that silly flower pot on his head? Is he bald and its holding down his Halloween fright wig or what? He looks like he's has a face lift too, just like that other guy in his band, the singer, what’s his name.

# Nov 19, 2010 @ 1:35 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Blindgreed1's avatar

Member

9. Blindgreed1 writes:

LDB: I HAVE to think that if Slash wore a wig it would be better than his real hair which is bassically a chia pet under said flower pot. ;-)

# Nov 19, 2010 @ 10:11 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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