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Bret Michaels Life As I Know It Episode 2

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Band Photo: Poison (?)

Episode 2 begins with Bret four months out of the hospital. Kristi is off to meet her girlfriend Kate and express her concern over Bret not taking it easy while Michaels is out on the road living it up in Joliet, IL. I’m not sure if it’s this particular town (probably not), the venue (maybe), or the fact that it is a Bret Michaels show (probably) but there is a high percentage of white trash on hand for the meet and greet after his performance. Fans that may or may not be pregnant are drinking and giving Bret dating advice. This is the scene when we are introduced to Grammy Gypsy.

Who is this Grammy Gypsy? Well, it’s Bret Michaels Mom! She pulls up in an RV, wearing a cowboy hat, and has noticeably started partying before everyone else. How we have not been introduced to this woman before is not fair. Did I mention she pulled up in an RV, wearing a cowboy hat, and was noticeably drunk?

After a couple shows Bret brings the crew (two buses of 20 road guys) back to his house. At the kitchen table one of the band mates explains to Bret’s five year old daughter the different ways to toast a drink. It’s not long after this when Jorja accuses Rat (Bret’s band mate) of stealing four of her brushes, leading to an emergency bus meeting where Bret tells Rat to give back the brush. Pins and needles for about five minutes, luckily this confrontation ended without gun play.

Next Bret and Kristi decide they need to go outside for therapy. What? You say. That’s right – Dodgeball Therapy, which if I understand correctly is throwing a ball at a person while screaming out things you don’t like about them. Kristi’s top two included not going to the movies and that Bret is an idiot. I am unsure how the ball plays into this.

After therapy Bret decides to spend time with his daughters. They are in the garage putting on motorcycle helmets when Jorja brushes up against the fender of Bret’s Camaro. He quickly jumps up and yells at his daughter. For those keeping track, the priorities for Michaels are (in order): Music. Camaro. Family. This is not going to end well.

After a short motorcycle ride (yes, you’re correct, it is the same motorcycle from the Unskinny Bop video) Jorja tells her Dad that it was “lame”. At this point it isn’t clear if she is referencing her ride on the cycle or the entire show as she is being filmed.

In an attempt at good parenting Bret takes his girls to a road side memorial to show the dangers of motorcycles. Predictably the young girls begin crying. Jorja asks the question “What happens if die at the age of three?” Jorja is five. Kids say the funniest things.

And then, Bret naps.

P.S. If we count Jorja’s pink bandana this week (which we will) there was once again four bandanas worn. The pink by Jorja, and graphic red, blue, and grey bandanas worn by Bret; keeping the Guinness record keepers on their toes, and the hope of world peace alive…

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David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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4 Comments on "Bret Michaels Life As I Know It Episode 2"

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1. brandedcfh420 writes:


# Oct 26, 2010 @ 9:17 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. no one writes:

i wish this has-been would die already. he's pathetic. agree?

# Oct 26, 2010 @ 11:56 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
3. spunkytmt5 writes:

jorja is a spoiled brat crybabay that bret indulges....and krsti is just a plain douche bag! this is bret's life? disappointing to say the least. grow some balls dude.

# Oct 27, 2010 @ 2:34 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
4. CC Croft writes:

You got a lot wrong...

The discussion of different 'Cheers' was with Raine - the 10 year old not the 5 year old Jorja.

Rat is one of the crew, not a band mate. It was all a joke to get Jorja to feel better.

The motorcycle was in the Fallen Angel video, not Unskinny Bop.

He hardly 'yelled' at Jorja about touching the car.

Only Jorja cried at the memorial.

At least get the facts right if you're going to diss something other people enjoy. :P

# Nov 2, 2010 @ 3:30 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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