The Rockstar Ramblings: Tattoos & Tequila Excerpt
Band Photo: Motley Crue (?)
Vince Neil's new book Tattoos and Tequila is out September 23. This week his website sent out an excerpt for his book of adventures. Here's a quick look and initial thoughts.
Excerpt from Tattoos and Tequila by Vince Neil:
“The second time I had pot mixed with PCP, a horse tranquilizer known on the street as angel dust. I remember the first time I tried it. I was with four friends in a car at a drive-in theater, watching Silver Streak, a hilarious movie with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. My friend John Marshall handed the pipe to me; I didn’t know how much to smoke. And I sure wasn’t gonna be a puss wad and ask. I just toked it down, big-time. I ended up getting so fucked up that I could hardly move or speak. Honestly, that was one high that I wanted to see come to an end. I remember we all freaked out when a security guard came up and knocked on the window. John rolled down the window and the smoke billowed out. . . . I was sure we were going to jail.
But all the guard did was ask John to take his foot off the brake. His red brake lights were disturbing the people behind us at the drive-in. After that I got out of the car and staggered toward the snack bar, which was located at the rear of the drive-in. Even though I was fucked up, I was totally munched out, hungry as hell. The girl who served me must have thought she was dealing with an idiot, because I could hardly speak. I ended up having to point at the stuff I wanted. I got a big box of popcorn and some sodas, but I ended up spilling everything on the endless walk back to the car. It felt like I was on one of those primitive plank bridges over a gorge. I was lucky to even find the car. The next day I smoked more. Mostly because it was there…”
The first sentence insinuates that the second time Vince used marijuana it was no longer just passing a joint around, but rather quickly escalated into a mixture of pot and PCP. I believe Neil and his friends were taking this "pot is a gateway drug" way to literally. You at least have to go through a couple months of copping nickel bags in the school parking lot before you move on to anything harder. There are rules.
Doing drugs in a drive-in theatre, oh how things have changed. Back then you had to go score your drugs and drive to a theatre. Now, most kids get whacked out from their parent’s medicine cabinets and have a quick walk to their computer where they can troll for porn. As I write this the good ole days seem better, more natural.
Vince is watching a Richard Pryor movie during this sequence. Does everyone have a funny black comedian as part of their first drug stories? For me, it was Eddie Murphy (Beverly Hill's Cop). Are there people with Chris Rock stories? "The first time I tried meth I was watching Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Farley and Chris Rock when…".
Vince uses the phrase "puss wad" to describe how he didn't want to appear to his friends (by refusing to use drugs). Important to note that this is not a recollected phrase, but rather the words Neil chooses to use to describe the situation.
Vince uses the phrase "totally munched out" which he then goes on to clarify means "hungry as hell". For anyone that has ever been to Venice Beach, you know the guys that look really tan (almost black), with long knotted hair, creats dozens of uses for the words peace and dude, and is wearing only a burlap bag? You have to think this was a possible career path for Vince Neil had Tommy Lee not convinced Nikki Sixx to give Vince a shot in his band.
Neil grabs popcorn from the snack bar. Not exactly a staple for someone high, but given the time there probably wasn't much of a choice; it was either popcorn or the shoebox size of Milk Duds. I think if this happens in modern times, Neil definitely goes for the nachos and maybe a hot dog if all his money isn't spent on drugs.
He mentions the girl at the counter probably thought he was an idiot. If you called her a "puss wad" and asked her what she has to eat because you are "totally munched out", then I don't think there is any "probably" in the question.
"It felt like it was one of those primitive plank bridges over a gorge". Here Vince gives us a great idea for a new reality show. Get aging rock stars looking for the spotlight (Bret Michaels, Vince Neil, Jani Lane, etc...), allow them to go out an party. When they get back to the reality show mansion they have to walk a plank. If they fall, they have to sing the classic hit of the viewers’ choice. Picture a sloshed Lane singing Cherry Pie and the viewers continuing to vote him through to the next episode, just to see him have to sing it again.
The question I have is what was the third time like? Given the first time was harmless pot, next mixed with angel dust, I am going with shooting heroin into your groin while jumping out of a moving vehicle. Maybe this is covered in the next chapter.
Even more important than the "what happened the third time" question is the obvious, "what happened when John took his foot off the brake?” Was the car still in drive? Did the people behind them come to the door, thank them, and get a contact high?
Damn, I guess I'm going to have to read this one to find out…
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