Metal Underground.com

Column

Growing Up Twisted: Shocking Cody News

Band Photo: Twisted Sister (?)

This week’s episode begins with Shane graduating college. His mom, Suzette, believes this is the time to announce that Shane hasn’t had a girlfriend in years. She turns to husband Dee Snider and unconvincingly says, “I think he likes girls.” Dee is stone faced. Suzette decides that she needs to take control of the situation and find Shane a girl. Cody looks hurt when he hears this news.

Cody is working on his war movie that has apparently been in the works for two years. The premiere is in two days and predictably, Cody isn’t ready. Shane interrupts Cody during an editing session, Cody is not wearing a shirt, actually is only wearing boxers. It’s shortly after this brotherly moment when we learn that Cody has a girlfriend. This bears repeating: Cody has a girlfriend. Shocking, given the several weeks of waxing and homoerotic behavior Cody has been involved in.

Suzette takes her oldest son, Jesse, to go see a matchmaker for Shane. She asks the matchmaker if the girls say whether or not they are sluts. Suzette isn’t up to date on the matchmaking lingo: “I’ll try anything once” translates to “I’ve tried everything many times”. No surprise that the matchmaker doesn’t work and even less of a surprise when Suzette goes online to try and find a girl and is unable to find anyone right for her son. Logically, the next move is to take Shane to a singles mixer, which to be honest looks, more like an Irish Pub. This turns out to be disastrous, leaving Shane embarrassed, and still alone.

Back at the house Suzette barges into Cody’s room where she finds his girlfriend (still shocking) and Cody in only his boxers. Suzette immediately notices that her son has an erection. Next scene Shane and Cody are together. Cody is in only shorts (allergic to shirts in this episode) and is calling his mom a cock block.

At Cody’s movie premiere there is drama leading up until the start of his film, but goes over well, leaving the Snider family in tears. Due to his success and Shane’s recent graduation, Cody convinces his mom to allow them to have a party, with Dee out of the house. The party turns into a bash with a blow up fun house and women in bikinis everywhere. Dee, who is out on a date with Suzette, is told there is a party back at the house so they go back. When they show up they are not angry with the size of the party, but rather happy to find Shane in the hot tub, surrounded by half-naked girls.

The closing scene is Shane announcing to the group that “The party may continue.” Somewhere off in the distance Cody wanders around, without a shirt…

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.