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The Rockstar Ramblings: Burning Questions Edition

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

People.com reports that Bret Michaels (Poison) vows to start Groupie Love, the first retirement home for groupies. Two days later Michaels tour bus was pulled over, Marijuana was found on board. This is no coincidence. Question: Is medicinal Marijuana a treatment for brain hemorrhage recovery?

Jani Lane (Warrant) has begun his 120 day jail sentence for his DUI. Jani claims he is writing the best music of his life. Question: Does this mean alternate lyrics to Cherry Pie?

This week never seen before photos of Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi) surfaced on TMZ showing Jon sprawled out with several half-naked women from the Aqua Net days. Apparently Jon is outraged that these photos were leaked by an ex-tour manager. Question: Given the Jersey boys are in full tour mode and this only enhances their party days…c’mon, is Jon really pissed?

This year’s Ozfest is offering an Unholy Matrimony Wedding Package where couples can get married at Ozzy’s music festival. Question: What is the over/under on the groom having a mullet? I say 2 to 1.

Steven Adler (Adler’s Appetite, ex-Guns N Roses) has stated in his new autobiography that he was raped as a child, Slash and Axl did something that can never be forgotten, and that he has felt the wrath of Axl Rose, Eddie Van Halen, and Rod Stewart. Question: Is anyone else thinking Slash and Axl locked Adler in a room with Rod Stewart as he was serenading Steven with his song “If You Think I’m Sexy…”, or was Rod Stewart the one who raped him?

Slash admitted in a recent interview that Myles Kennedy (Alter Bridge) was offered and turned down the Velvet Revolver lead singer job. Question: Is Rod Stewart available?

Rob Zombie (White Zombie) lashed out at Ozzy for stealing musicians, most notably his latest drummer. Question: Has the homeless guy I see every day outside my apartment lashed out at Rob for stealing his dreadlock unkempt beard look?

This week Ozzy Osbourne was fitted for a new hearing aid. Question: How long was he with Sharon before Ozzy ripped it out?

Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) on Vince Neil’s latest arrest: “Vince handles his affair in a way that’s right for him”. Question: Does Nikki really mean : “As long as the bags of money keep coming in, it’s okay.”?

The Axl Rose/Chinese Democracy ex-Manager trial got off to a rocky start when it was reported that Axl’s attorney got a copy of the Wall Street Journal thrown at her. Question: Was it the Sunday edition?

During a recent interview Steven Adler said that Guns N Roses should get back together because it’s what everyone wants. Question : Has Adler been riding around on Bret Michael’s tour bus?

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David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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