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The Rockstar Ramblings: Books NOT Coming Soon

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Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

With the onslaught of eighties rock autobiographies and even more biographies set to be released over the next several months; a look at some of the books that didn’t make the cut.

“Mark F’n Slaughter”
The Mark Slaughter story. An entire chapter focuses on (with proof) that he was in fact born with the name: Mark Slaughter. Even at page ten it begins to feel like a long read.

“Growing Old Gracefully, The Sebastian Bach Story”
Bach walks us through a child hood not full of rock star dreams, but dreams of reality television, specifically weight loss television shows. “I remember when I was five, I remember thinking, man I can’t weight to put on a few extra pounds and then show the world I can lose half the extra weight I gained.” If I had to describe the book in one word, it would have to be DEEP…

“South of the Border”
A documentary of sorts from Axl Rose’s massage therapist.

“Two Hours, Twenty-Five Minutes”
Dee Snider’s book that details how long it took to get into the Stay Hungry costume, complete with hair tips.

“Rock Star Marketing 101”
Bret Michaels details the use of reality television, fan promotions, and how to fake a near death experience. Just kidding, the fan promotion piece is pretty insignificant.

“The Cash”
Motley Crue’s follow-up to New York Times Bestseller, “The Dirt.”

“Life On The Road and Driving Off The Road”
The Jani Lane story (foreword by Vince Neil). An appendix with phone numbers for taxi services is located in the back.

“Cooking to Capture Your Lead Singer’s Heart”
Joe Perry discusses dishes he creates to keep his vocalist at bay. “Never grill out beef hot dogs, always go with turkey dogs.” and other quotes that will leave you on the edge of your seat in this cooking thriller.

“BANG! The Top 10 places to get shot at in New Jersey!”
Jon Bon Jovi covers all the greats including Newark, Trenton, and murder capital of the world, Camden.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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3 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: Books NOT Coming Soon"

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50bmg's avatar

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1. 50bmg writes:

Too funny!

# Jul 2, 2010 @ 12:54 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
50bmg's avatar

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2. 50bmg writes:

Mark Slaughter has to be the worst live singer I've ever seen. Tesla was worth the pain though.

# Jul 2, 2010 @ 1:05 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
brandedcfh420's avatar

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3. brandedcfh420 writes:

HAHAHAHAHHA, good one scribbler!!

# Jul 2, 2010 @ 1:14 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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