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The Rockstar Ramblings: Dr. Ozzy

Photo of Ozzy Osbourne

Band Photo: Ozzy Osbourne (?)

Recent news of Ratt canceling their European tour due to Stephen Pearcy needing a hernia operation confirms what the lead singer has been hinting at for years, he really is doing the heavy lifting for this band…

SpikeTV aired their annual Guys Choice Awards this past week, awarding Ozzy Osbourne with the Literary Achievement award for his autobiography. In other rumored news, Ozzy will receive be receiving an honorary Medical Degree in Pharmaceuticals for his consistent stoned performance on The Osbournes…

With a pilot on the way for Comedy Central, Steel Panther is showing their commitment to comedy, covering a song by The Backstreet Boys…Meanwhile; I have found a fun game to play is to tell a friend that Buckcherry’s new song “All Night Long” is actually a cover of the Lionel Ritchie song by the same name. Mention that their upcoming album also contains a cover of “Dancing on The Ceiling” and you will have them scrambling to Google faster than fans of Full House hearing John Stamos is growing his mullet back…

Who had June 2010 as the date Phil Lewis (L.A. Guns) announces he will be singing “Fat Bottomed Girls” on an All-Star Salute to Fat Chicks? For those that have this winning ticket, congratulations, unfortunately this wasn’t exactly a long-shot bet…For those that parlayed this bet with Phil Lewis announcing his love for “Exquisite women built for comfort, rather than speed!” Well played…

Thoughts after watching the new Krokus video “Too Hot”: I love how the band doesn’t discriminate girls based on hair color, all flavors are covered. From the drinking, driving, and aggressive sexual advances we can already see these are “bad” girls, do we really need them littering, throwing a beer can out the window? Al Gore is having a bad enough week already. I guess to sum up this video, I WOULD hand over the keys to my car (to the girls) provided I am allowed to ride along, but given their tendency to burn down buildings I WOULD NOT give them access to any businesses I owned…

For those suffering from Bret Michaels (Poison) withdrawals, no worries, you can catch an animated Michaels on the Nick at Night show Glen Martin D.D.S. Bret will play a cartoon character of his previous self, hey wait, is this new? Let’s hope Nick at Night does this right and has a pet bandana named Benji (The Bandana) that Bret pulls along behind him…

Mark Slaughter (Slaughter) has announced that he will join The Nelsons for their 20th Anniversary tour. Exactly what diehard fans of Mark Slaughter were hoping for and is the exact opposite of Michael Jordan in his prime, joining forces with Lebron James…

The Las Vegas strip continues to get an eighties rock makeover with the announcement of Vince Neil (Motley Crue) opening Tres Rios Cantina in the Las Vegas Hilton hotel. Given this news, I am officially requesting Blackie Lawless (W.A.S.P.) open a Waffle House on the strip. This way you can have Margaritas at Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Cantina, play KISS themed mini-golf, tequila shots at Neil’s Tres Rios Cantina, and then end the day properly with a plate of waffles at Blackie’s…

This week’s HONEST QUOTE comes from Dee Snider (Twisted Sister) when speaking about his upcoming show Growing Up Twisted: “This show is to jump start the careers of my kids”. This is the equivalent of Bret Michaels saying the purpose of Rock of Love was to have sex with as many groupies as possible, and then send them home, on television…

Ozzy Osbourne announced he will have a weekly column with The Sunday Times titled Dr. Ozzy where he will answer medical related questions. Rumored guest doctors include Dr. Keith Richards, Dr. Nick Riviera, Dr. Who, Dr. Watson, and of course, Dr. Love…

Finally, this week we announce a new segment of this column: THE ROCKSTAR RAMBLINGS MAILBAG. Email me at Rockstar_Scribbler[AT]metalunderground.com with your questions, feedback, and comments on anything 80’s Glam Rock and Heavy Metal, Warrant’s “Down Boys” video, Scott Weiland’s fedora collection, Weekend at Bernie’s, Bret Michaels, etc…I will periodically go through and reply to your questions via The Rockstar Ramblings weekly column.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1 Comment on "The Rockstar Ramblings: Dr. Ozzy"

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Anonymous Reader
1. Ambrish writes:

i dont know...why he put his d*** with the interview all the time????
who is he???
he is f***ing no legend..!!
metallica, slayer, anthrax, testament, cannibal corpse, death etc are now the legends!!!!
-peace-

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