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The Rockstar Ramblings: The Ozzy Factor

Photo of Guns N Roses

Band Photo: Guns N Roses (?)

Jon Bon Jovi has reportedly quit cigarettes due to the high cost of smoking. Other areas Jon is rumored to be more frugal are: wearing Dockers instead of designer jeans, cutting his hair shorter to save on inflating shampoo costs, and switch from Aqua-Net to Walgreens brand hairspray…

Spirit of The Wild, Ted Nugent’s television show that takes you into the life of hunting with Ted, will return in HD to the Outdoor Channel. It will be nice to have a clear picture during sweeps week when Nugent takes out an entire herd of buffalo, with one bullet…

Ozzy Osbourne, speaking of his mortality mentioned, “When there are drugs or alcohol involved, I should have died a thousand times!” Someone really needs to put together a factor for living rock stars and their rating at the height of recklessness. Something like a scale of one to five, starting with ONE being Creed lead singer Scott Stapp admitting to taking one shot of Jagermeister before a show, Sammy Hagar at TWO (all tequila), Alice Cooper at a THREE (before rehab and golf), Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots) at a THREE and a HALF each time he falls off the wagon and some girl burns his clothes, Ozzy and Slash fit in around FOUR, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry (Aerosmith) at FOUR and a HALF, and finally Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) at FIVE. He did die after all. On second thought, after re-watching the “making breakfast” scene of Ozzy in The Decline of Western Civilization, the Metal Years documentary, we should probably move him to a FIVE. You know what, let’s just call it The Ozzy Factor…

This week’s surprise of the week: Vince Neil’s clip of “Viva Las Vegas,” one of the new tracks on his upcoming new album “Tattoos & Tequila.”

This week’s NOT so much of a surprise: On the verge of a number one album with Stone Temple Pilots, Scott Weiland lets it out in an interview that he would not rule out a reunion with Velvet Revolver…

In other Ozzy news, Osbourne is saying he helped write the lyrics to Slash’s song, “Crucify the Dead,” and said the song should be (and probably is) about Axl Rose (Guns N Roses). Does this mean Axl now needs to write a song about Slash? Oh wait, he already wrote an entire album of hate. This is starting to feel a little bit like Tupac and Biggie. Luckily rock guys aren’t very good at drive by shootings. Of course, I’m sure Uncle Ted is always for hire…

The Las Vegas strip is getting a KISS themed mini-golf course called Monster Mini Golf. Complete with dark lighting and a rock attitude you can get the full Gene Simmons experience by playing the Hole in One challenge, just get a hole in one and then repeat, twenty thousand times. It goes without saying we can expect a KISS gift shop at each hole…

Velvet Revolver members Matt Sorum, Duff McKagan, and Slash all played on a Macy Grey song titled “Kissed It.” The name of the Macy Grey album is “The Sellout.” So, this makes perfect sense…

Finally, at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in New York’s Times Square, Ozzy Osbourne made an appearance to promote his upcoming album, “Scream.” Viewers walking through the museum, expecting a wax figure of Osbourne, were shocked to find a live Ozzy when they sat next to him for a picture. Osbourne jumped up and “screamed” at those passing by, leading to a few clutching their chest. Honestly, if I was knowingly talking to a live Ozzy and he jumped up and screamed I would probably clutch my chest…

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David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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2 Comments on "The Rockstar Ramblings: The Ozzy Factor"

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Anonymous Reader
1. wisdom67 writes:

it amazes me that after all these years the rock stars who have passed thier prime go out and make a joke of themselves ,you would think they would growup and retire like adults should after all most of them have children who are playing in thier group now ,it seems greed will be the demise of them all share the wealth and let groups starting up get a few dollars,and most of the old groups have groupies who have to use canes or other assitance,wake up america

# Jun 21, 2010 @ 10:00 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. todd writes:

you have no idea what your talking about. the bands of the eighties such as motley crue are as big as ever and seem to be growing each day. you my friend need to wake up and smell what nikki sixx is cooking!

# Jun 21, 2010 @ 1:03 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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