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Celebrity Apprentice: Bret is Project Manager II

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Band Photo: Poison (?)

Episode eight begins with Bret Michaels taking the reigns as Project Manager for team Rock Solid. With Sharon Osbourne and Maria (wrestling star) Rock Solid is ready for their challenge of creating three radio spots for a plumbing and electricity company. Sharon adds that their team has an edge because, “We’re all rock and roll!”

For team Tenacity, Summer has taken the Project Manager role. Their team is quickly impressed with Cyndi Lauper’s knowledge of Benjamin Franklin’s bathing habits, noting “He liked to take baths with French women”. No one is quite sure what to do with this information so they cut to team Rock Solid where Bret and Sharon are making fart jokes, only to be interrupted by the company representatives.

Side note: A jar of sliced pickles has more personality than the CEO’s representing the plumbing and electric company.

As Michaels jokes and asks about humor they quickly say no and specifically tell Bret not to make fun of plumbers. Next scene Bret is working a way to incorporate the word “crack” into his plumbing radio commercial.

In addition to his “crack” joke Michaels adds in “hot and sticky” and seventies porn music into the thirty second spots. Despite Sharon’s plea to tone down the content, Bret convinces the team to go with what they have. “Let’s go out big!” Says Bret.

On the team Tenacity side, celebrity chef Curtis Stone is in charge of timing the commercials on his watch and buying pizza. This sets up what may be the most dramatic scene in Apprentice history. Picture a hungry Bret Michaels. As his blood sugar dips he asks his team to steal a piece of pizza from team Tenacity. Maria accepts the challenge. What happens next is she goes across the hall to team Tenacity’s room where they have a stack of pizza boxes (FYI only four members on the team) and grabs one slice of pizza. Lucky for Curtis Stone he had a moment to track down Maria and Bret and unleash his anger onto team Rock Solid. This leads to Sharon’s rant of how he is beautiful and Australian, and that this is not her type. Never before has a slice of pizza triggered such a response.

Next the teams play their radio spots for the lifeless executives. They agree that Bret Michaels could be a spokesman for their products, but are predictably irritated at the plumbers “crack” joke. Despite the unnecessary humor it doesn’t take Donald Trump long in the boardroom to announce Bret’s team winners, giving Michaels another 40K for his charity (diabetes). Before they depart Trump asks Sharon’s advice and she continues her attack on Curtis Stone, calling him smug. Eventually Stone is safe, and Summer is fired, leaving only six contestants left. Bret drops three “awesomes” in thirty seconds, a feat only equal to Reggie Miller’s eight points in eleven seconds against the Knicks in 1995.

Next week we see Trump mixing up the teams, sending Michaels over to work with Cyndi Lauper. No word on whether charges will be pursued in the case of the stolen pizza slice.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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