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Gwar Issues Crack-A-Thon 2010 Recap

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Band Photo: Gwar (?)

Gwar has checked in with the following recap of their "Crack-a-Thon" 2010 appearance:

"After a week and a half of utter silence (and even less interest) Gwar's much-touted 'Crack-a-Thon 2010' was today revealed to be a 'complete disaster,' doing nothing to alleviate lead singer's Oderus Urungus' crack debt, which grew to four times its pre-Crack-a-Thon size. The MF Gallery, which hosted the event, was left in flaming ruin, until a squad of evil dwarfs emerged from the rubble, rebuilding the structure overnight.

"Despite stellar performances (Andrew WK, Kembra Phaler of The Voluptuos Horror of Karen Black), compelling interviews (Jamey Jasta, Mecronos of the band Dethrace), and exceptional bartending (Balsac the Jaws of Death), the highly-anticipated fund-raising drive actually ended up 'losing millions,' according to Betty Fizzbin, Crack-a-Thon official and part-time rodeo animal. She continued-- 'We actually made a ton of money...I mean the phones were ringing off the hooks, and cash was literally pouring into the box office! But then Oderus locked himself in the receipt booth and smoked it all up. He didn't even try to buy crack, he just smoked the money...'

"And while the Crack-a-Thon may have failed in its goal, everybody associated with this first-time webTV event agreed it was a lot of fun 'watch Oderus completely lose his shit.' As an obviously intoxicated Urungus stumbled around the stage, mumbling and throwing things, co-host Balsac the Jaws of Death kept things moving at a brisk pace, as the legions of celebrity guests were brought on and off with alarming regularity. Show highlights included Andrew WK and Oderus' duet of 'Candle in the Wind,' Kembra Phaler smashing paint-filled eggs into her vagina, and numerous appearances by homeless animal rights activist Chippy the Chippopautamus.

"Show lowlights included the camera being pointed at the floor for the entire Jamey Jasta interview and Lloyd Kaufman in general. The affair wound up on a 'high' note, with the guests and audience members joining together for a rousing version of 'Give Crack a Chance'."

In other Gwar news, rumors that the band was currently in the studio, working on their new album, were vehemently denied, even though they were completely true. Meanwhile the band is gearing up for a huge year, starting off in the U.S. this spring with the second leg of their "Lust in Space" tour, featuring the band's first-ever appearance at Bonnaroo. Gwar's 25th anniversary celebration continues this summer in Europe, where Gwar shall grace the stages at Bloodstock and many other festivals.

The upcoming Gwar tour dates are as follows:

6/01 Toledo, OH @ Headliners
6/02 Palatine, IL @ Durty Nellies
6/04 Ft. Collins, CO @ Aggie Theatre
6/05 Grand Junction, CO @ Mesa Theatre & Club
6/07 San Antonio, TX @ White Rabbit
6/09 Mobile, AL @ Soul Kitchen
6/10 Jackson, MS @ Club Fire
6/11 Memphis, TN @ New Daisy Theatre
6/12 Manchester, TN @ Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival
6/14 Raleigh, NC @ Lincoln Theatre
6/15 N. Myrtle Beach, SC @ House of Blues SC
6/16 Richmond, VA @ The National
6/17 Allentown, PA @ Crocodile Rock
6/18 Sayreville, NJ @ Starland Ballroom
6/19 Poughkeepsie, NY @ The Chance
6/20 Boston, MA @ House of Blues Boston
6/22 Farmingdale, NY @ The Crazy Donkey
6/23 Syracuse, NY @ Westcott Theatre
6/24 Millvale, PA @ Mr. Small's Theatre
6/25 Lexington, KY @ Buster's Billiards & Backroom
6/26 Rutland, OH @ 2010 Interpunk American Skate Fest

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2 Comments on "Gwar Issues Crack-A-Thon Recap"

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Cynic's avatar

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1. Cynic writes:

Haha, nothing better than a Gwar update.

# Apr 30, 2010 @ 8:02 PM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address
Anonymous Reader
2. RTB writes:

Reading that entire article was exhausting....im at a loss

# May 1, 2010 @ 3:02 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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