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Celebrity Apprentice: The Tour Bus Thrust

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Band Photo: Poison (?)

With Bret Michaels in the hospital, fighting for his lifewe take a look at episode seven of Celebrity Apprentice. More on the elephant in the room at the end.

With Rock Solid down to two men (Curtis and Bret) Trump decides to mix things up, sending Sharon Osbourne and ex-wrestler Maria over to Bret’s team. Bret and Sharon immediately lighten up, “You’re a genius Mr. Trump,” Says Bret.

The challenge for the week is to create a celebrity fitness program, and raise money for their charities. Bret and Sharon immediately decide they are going to create a Rock Boot Camp where the promise will be to “Sweat Like a Rock Star!” The other team, Tenacity is going with a more classic program, titled “Guns and Buns.” Back at Rock Solid, the Rock Boot Camp exercises include: The Lighter (hold up you arms and flick your hand), Bad Seats (having to climb stairs into the nose bleed seats), and a signature move from Bret Michaels known as The Tour Bus Thrust (this is where Bret lies on his back and…you know what, I think you get the picture).

With Bret’s exercise program set, Sharon now has to raise money. She immediately goes to talk to Ozzy and the WWE, asking for donations. Michaels ensures enough people will show up for the exercise classes, inviting many of the girls from Rock of Love.

With “Awesome” graphics (despite a couple grammar issues) the classes are ready to begin. On Tenacity’s side there are only a few participants, but Rock Solid is loaded with girls of all ages and sizes, all with a very weathered and possibly under the influence look to them. Welcome back the girls of Rock of Love! During the class, Bret and Maria grind with their patented thrust and air guitar moves while Sharon is walking around with a whip to ensure everyone stays in line. During The Tour Bus Thrust a girl comes over and “motivates” Bret, maximizing the workout.

It starts ugly in the boardroom. First, Sharon calls out Holly as a “tattler”, then despite having the best fitness program, Sharon and Bret lose the challenge. Given the amount of money raised (over 340K) Trump decides to take a week off and not fire anyone. Bret seems to like this move saying “This is awesome, just awesome.”

Over the past few years I have written tens of thousands of words on Bret and his reality shows. I get great enjoyment writing the Rock of Love and Celebrity Apprentice columns, and of course none of this would be possible without the entertainment Michaels brings. One thing I have learned from watching a lot of Bret is that he is the genuine article. Is he a rock n’ roll clown? Maybe, but he has approached his television career in the same way his music career and that is what you see is what you get. Whether it be lipstick, spandex, and cheesy eighties hooks, or trying to nail all of the girls in the Rock of Love shows, it is clear he isn’t changing for anyone. If you don’t like him, no problem, Bret is still going to be Bret which means: have fun, play his music, and have fun. In Celebrity Apprentice we are even more exposed to Michaels blue collar get-it-done attitude. This isn’t too much of a surprise given he’s from Mechanisburg, PA (you just can’t get more blue collar). Bret may not be a trailblazer or musically, the missing Beatle (nor has he ever claimed these areas), but he has found success on his own terms, fighting for what is his. I personally hope he has enough fight to pull through and continue entertaining us for many years to come.

Rockstar_Scribbler's avatar

David S. Grant (aka Rockstar_Scribbler) is the author of several books including Rock Stars, Happy Hour, and Corporate Porn. For more information please go to www.rockstarbooks.net or www.davidsgrant.com. You can also follow David on Twitter @david_S_grant.

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1 Comment on "Celebrity Apprentice: The Tour Bus Thrust"

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1. Rolf-Dieter writes:

Bret our prayers are with you do get well for your family and fans we know you have the willpower and strength.

# Apr 26, 2010 @ 8:10 AM ET | IP Logged Reveal posts originating from the same IP address

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