Just For Fun
Alice Cooper Is A Born-Again Satanist
Vincet Furnier, vocalist from the classic shock rock band Alice Cooper, has claimed recently that he is a born-again Satanist. Currently on tour with Rob Zombie, the rocker commonly referred to as Alice Cooper told Metalunderground.com that years of being a born-again Christian had become boring and he was looking for a change, “I used to think that Christianity was the path to salvation, and that golfing was a great sport. But when I dug up that old Black Sabbath record ‘We Sold Our Soul for Rock ‘n’ Roll,’ I saw the light. The black light.”
Alice Cooper has joined the official Church of Satan began by Magus Aton Szandor LaVey in 1966. He attends black masses every Sunday at the same time he would attend church before the switch to the dark side. When asked if the timing was to spit in the face of God, Alice replied, “Not at all. It’s just hard to break out of my Sunday morning routine.” After black mass, Cooper enjoys taking his brunch at IHOP. Alice Cooper has also been witnessed in his stage makeup everywhere. In fact, he has not been seen without the makeup on for some time. Debates are cropping up in metal music forums as to whether the makeup is actually tattooed on to his face.
Once an avid golfer, Alice Cooper now takes sport in performing magic tricks. He purchased a children’s magic trick set at a bookstore and performs the tricks at the store every Saturday afternoon when he is not touring. The store enjoys the crowd he brings in, but Cooper reportedly is not a very good magician. Alice Cooper claimed before his show at 2:30, “I want to be a great magician like my hero Aleister Crowley. Until I get really good, I’ll be doing three shows here at 2:00, 2:30 and 3:00 during Story Hour.” The patrons of the bookstore are becoming aggravated by Cooper’s constant screaming of “Hail Satan!” while they are trying to read. And the blood from daily goat sacrifices to the Devil stain the pages of books.
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34 Comments on "Alice Cooper Is A Born-Again Satanist"
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no Eli, stear clear....its a devils trap designed to ensnare and divide your brilliant mind----NO!! such heresy cannot come to pass!
nay, away i say....spare yourself and the divine prophesy true and certain destruction here---now go, off with you!
vaya con Dios, companero :)
This is clearly an April Fools post.
The Church of Satan does not hold "Black Masses every Sunday," nor would any follower of LaVey's form of Satanism be likely to hold "Black Masses every Sunday." In LaVey's form of Satanism, and in most other forms of Satanism too, the "Black Mass" is understood as something to be performed as an occasional catharsis, nothing more.
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Hail SATIN. WECLOME HOME COOPER lml